Honestly, this kind of misses the point in many cases. Yes, there are people like this, but they seem to be a minority. I’ve noticed there are plenty of people arguing for parents’ rights and saying they would be absolutely fine with their child being trans, and actually meaning it.
The point that’s being missed (and which is extremely difficult to communicate politically) is that, simply put, not all parents are good. Parents often look at themselves and think, “I would accept my child being trans, in fact, I would want to know so I can properly support them” - in which case, parental rights don’t sound half bad (but then, in all likelihood, this isn’t a case where the child would hide it from their parents, at least not for long). Most parents love their children over everything, unconditionally, and would die for them. Which makes it that much more difficult to realize or accept that there are parents out there who wouldn’t accept their children being trans, going all the way to downright disowning them. Parents can be downright abusive, unfortunately, I’ve seen it myself. And for anyone who is a loving parent, honestly, it’s hard to fathom how you can be that fucking awful with your own child. And that for many people unfathomable case is the precisely the case in which those parents’ “rights” can be downright dangerous.
It could also be society’s fault for making the kid fearful that their own parents might not be as open as they say they are. That is a reason, but not the parent’s fault.
I have known plenty of people who were afraid to come out to their parents despite the parentss being openly welcoming, and it wasn’t their parent’s fault.
Failure to do something can be as much your fault as if you did something wrong.
In the face of societal oppression good parenting requires positive and engaging action. “I’ll love you no matter what” is warm but scary, while “I’ll assume your non-binary until you come out one way or the other” is a clear message of acceptance.
(My daughter came out as cis, largely because she was annoyed at her parents proactive inclusion.)
Somehow my parents were flabbergasted when my brother came out. All his friends were girls! They hung out at the mall every weekend!
Yeah, clothes shopping. Then he got dolled up and went to a movie with his male “best friend”. How they didn’t see that gay train coming years before, I have no clue. He was the only male cheerleader in the 90s in our city, and he had way more glee than the girls.
Honestly, this kind of misses the point in many cases. Yes, there are people like this, but they seem to be a minority. I’ve noticed there are plenty of people arguing for parents’ rights and saying they would be absolutely fine with their child being trans, and actually meaning it.
The point that’s being missed (and which is extremely difficult to communicate politically) is that, simply put, not all parents are good. Parents often look at themselves and think, “I would accept my child being trans, in fact, I would want to know so I can properly support them” - in which case, parental rights don’t sound half bad (but then, in all likelihood, this isn’t a case where the child would hide it from their parents, at least not for long). Most parents love their children over everything, unconditionally, and would die for them. Which makes it that much more difficult to realize or accept that there are parents out there who wouldn’t accept their children being trans, going all the way to downright disowning them. Parents can be downright abusive, unfortunately, I’ve seen it myself. And for anyone who is a loving parent, honestly, it’s hard to fathom how you can be that fucking awful with your own child. And that for many people unfathomable case is the precisely the case in which those parents’ “rights” can be downright dangerous.
The standard rebuttal is thus:
If your kid doesn’t tell you that they are trans, there’s probably a reason and it’s definitely your fault
It could also be society’s fault for making the kid fearful that their own parents might not be as open as they say they are. That is a reason, but not the parent’s fault.
I have known plenty of people who were afraid to come out to their parents despite the parentss being openly welcoming, and it wasn’t their parent’s fault.
Failure to do something can be as much your fault as if you did something wrong.
In the face of societal oppression good parenting requires positive and engaging action. “I’ll love you no matter what” is warm but scary, while “I’ll assume your non-binary until you come out one way or the other” is a clear message of acceptance.
(My daughter came out as cis, largely because she was annoyed at her parents proactive inclusion.)
I think, as a parent, if you don’t have some inkling that your kid is LGBTQ+, you don’t pay very close attention to them
Somehow my parents were flabbergasted when my brother came out. All his friends were girls! They hung out at the mall every weekend!
Yeah, clothes shopping. Then he got dolled up and went to a movie with his male “best friend”. How they didn’t see that gay train coming years before, I have no clue. He was the only male cheerleader in the 90s in our city, and he had way more glee than the girls.