Ebony becomes so angry at this perceived betrayal[e] that she runs crying into the Forbidden Forest, where she is approached by Lord Voldemort. Voldemort, speaking in faux-archaic English, gives her a gun and demands that she kill Vampire.

There is also a cameo by a gothic Marty McFly, who gives Ebony a black DeLorean time machine able to transform into an iPod, allowing her to travel forward in time.

I kinda want to read it now.