Opinions will vary here, but I like when the reminiscing comes after the request. If we catch up after talking to each other out of the blue, then you ask me for a favour, I tend to think that we only caught up because you felt obliged to do so to butter me up. It could be viewed as manipulative.
Bonus points if you ask me for a favour and I say I can’t right now, but you still take the time to catch up. That’s a pretty strong signal that you view the relationship as more than transactional. It also means I’m more likely to change my mind about doing that favour.
I would actually prefer that they’re upfront about contacting me because they need a favour, and then using that as an opening to catch up. If they first spend 30 min catching up before jumping to “btw, could you help me out with this” it gives the feeling that they only did the catching up to get me to help them. When it’s the other way around, it feels like they genuinely want to catch up a bit, and used the favour as an excuse/opportunity to contact me to catch up. A personal favourite is if someone wants help with something in the house and asks if I want to come over to help them out and then we can get some beers and a pizza afterwards. Having something to do together can make it a lot easier to pick up the conversation with someone you haven’t met for a long time.
I’ve had this happen and I just want you to put in the 30 minutes to catch up instead of treating me like an object.
Opinions will vary here, but I like when the reminiscing comes after the request. If we catch up after talking to each other out of the blue, then you ask me for a favour, I tend to think that we only caught up because you felt obliged to do so to butter me up. It could be viewed as manipulative.
Bonus points if you ask me for a favour and I say I can’t right now, but you still take the time to catch up. That’s a pretty strong signal that you view the relationship as more than transactional. It also means I’m more likely to change my mind about doing that favour.
That’s fine too.
It’s just when someone asks you for help and disappears that I hate. Like your only worth is TOS problem and they’re done with you now
I would actually prefer that they’re upfront about contacting me because they need a favour, and then using that as an opening to catch up. If they first spend 30 min catching up before jumping to “btw, could you help me out with this” it gives the feeling that they only did the catching up to get me to help them. When it’s the other way around, it feels like they genuinely want to catch up a bit, and used the favour as an excuse/opportunity to contact me to catch up. A personal favourite is if someone wants help with something in the house and asks if I want to come over to help them out and then we can get some beers and a pizza afterwards. Having something to do together can make it a lot easier to pick up the conversation with someone you haven’t met for a long time.