• GraniteM@lemmy.world
    6·
    2 hours ago

    KNOW, oh prince, that between the years when the oceans drank Atlanta and the gleaming cities, and the years of the rise of the Sons of Elon, there was an Age undreamed of, when shining forums lay spread across the internet like blue- and purple-linked mantles beneath the stars—Tumblr, 4chan, io9, Fark…

    • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
      32·
      5 hours ago

      “Penis goes in the butthole, then the penis comes mostly out of the butthole. Then, get this, they put the penis back IN the butthole!”

      “Where it just came from? The same butthole?”

      “The very same, sir!”

      “That doesn’t make sense. It’s so inefficient. The penis was already inside the butthole. Why would it leave, just to come right back to where it was only seconds before?”

      “There’s more sir. After the penis goes back inside the butthole the second time, it is reinserted a THIRD time?”

      “A THIRD TIME??? Well this is just absurd! Where does it end? It’s so inefficient!”

      “Actually sir, there’s more…because then there’s a forth time…”

      two hours later

      “Actually sir, there’s more. The penis then is reinserted a four thousand five hundred and sixty nineth time.”

      “Again??? I do not understand…”

      “And thats when the penis starts erupting and throwing up this white substance known as semen”

      “Semen you say? Isn’t that what primitive creatures used to innitiate pregnancy?”

      “Indeed it is!”

      “But these are buttholes, which are incapable of pregnancy. They were attempting to get pregnant in the wrong hole?”

      “I don’t think so sir. See, the recieving butthole is a male, whom also has a penis. It would be impossible for him to get pregnant regardless where he takes semen.”

      “My god! These homosapians were as dumb at recreation as the other things we found! What were they called?”

      “Pandas.”

      " Ah yes. Cute little things. Dumb as shit."

      “Yes, but I don’t think this was about recreation. It seems to have been for pleasure.”

      “Do these humans enjoy a big penis in their butthole?”

      “The males seem to. The females mostly hate it…except a few who like it.”

      “So this repetitive practice to simulate pregnancy inducing is actually done purely for pleasure. Johnson, disrobe. I want to test a theaory…”

      And now you have an alien fetish. You’re now reading alien erotica.

      • Limonene@lemmy.world
        2·
        2 hours ago

        https://lemmy.world/post/45806056

        Trump tells Iran to sign deal with US or ‘the whole country is going to get blown up’

        This sort of implies nuclear war. And nuclear war implies global nuclear war, which implies apocalyptic nuclear war. Though it’s not totally clear. If the US nuked Iran, other nuclear powers may respond with non-nuclear weapons on the US.

        Hopefully it’s just another tantrum, and he’ll forget his threat like last time.