Today on: Things that never happened
I think Milo was a lizzard person that forgot humans aren’t very fire resistance.
Milo? It’s Barb, isn’t it?
crazy that both barb and milo had this happen to them
It’s not like it was a true story in the first place.
People really just steal stories and pass them off as their own.
You really think people would do that? Go on the internet and tell lies?
My toaster caught on fire yesterday and when I realized it there was a flame like two feet high almost touching my cabinets so I panicked and picked it up so it wouldn’t catch my cabinets on fire but then I was just standing in my kitchen holding a flaming toaster and my dad saw me and didn’t say anything and I didn’t know what to do so I ran outside with it and threw it at the ground but it was on fire so I picked it up and threw it again and again until it went out but then my grass was on fire so I beat it with a shovel until that went out too. Then I came back inside and my dad was just like
“Whatcha cookin baguettefish”
It’s contagious. You see, the virus spreads with the ashes of burnt grass. These tiny particles are inhaled or ingested accidentally by another person, and after a few weeks, they burn their toast, and are compelled to take the burning toaster outside, burning more grass and restarting the cycle all over again.
My old roommate’s girlfriend lit our oven on fire. She was stoned out of her mind, and just calmly walked around the corner and said, “Hey, your oven is on fire, I don’t know if you want to do anything about that.”
I ran into the kitchen and put it out with the extinguisher that was 3 feet away from her. Some people aren’t made for emergency situations.
Don’t ask me how because I don’t remember but my grill pan caught on fire in my oven, I lived in a 2nd floor flat so once I realised I just took it outside and left it at the bottom of the stairs. Went back inside for some water and took that down and doused the grill.
I could never do that joke with a straight face.
