“Observe my anus. I will place it directly in front of your eyes to facilitate inspection.”

“I was feeling under the weather and wanted to find a safe place to hide, so I threw up in various nooks and crannies around the house.”

“I want to go out. Actually, I want in. Actually, no, I want out. On second thought, I want in.”

“I just thought I’d drop by and check to see whether I could get food a few hours early. No? Okay, how about now? No? How about now?”

“As a sign of my undying loyalty, I have placed a dead mouse on the foot of your bed.”

“A new pleather couch? Oh, you shouldn’t have! Permit me to extend my claws and take a jaunt to enhance its breathability.”