• Bobby@leminal.space
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        23 hours ago

        I don’t think shame and embarrassment are the same thing. Embarrassment often requires humility, but when people are ashamed, they dodge accountability.

    • blockheadjt@sh.itjust.works
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      1 day ago

      I would not accept shame of a type I wouldn’t put on someone else. Would I shame a woman for having kids with multiple guys? Of course not, you’d have to be a megachode to do that. So why would we tolerate people shaming anyone for that practice? Why should a person’s gender determine whether they’re allowed multiple partners in their life? We’re not even talking about non-monogamy here; plenty of people have kid(s) with one partner and then have more with another after leaving the first. I’ve got family members and friends who’ve done that. You think how much we shame them should be determined by their gender? Only women should be permitted?

      • architect@thelemmy.club
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        17 hours ago

        I think shaming the rich is always on the table for any and all reasons, personally. Anything to get to them.

        • plutopos@lemmy.zip
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          15 hours ago

          What you say isn’t in a vacuum. If you shame a rich person for a reason, you’re implicitly shaming many other people who match your insult

      • Bobby@leminal.space
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        23 hours ago

        Although a woman having kids with multiple guys would probably negatively impact her, this choice doesn’t have the same consequences for her in society. An equivalent “bad choice” for a woman would be marrying an older man at a young age, never getting an education, never getting a job, having multiple kids with him, and then allowing him to be The Head of the Household without any input from her. Long term, that would put her in a similarly disadvantaged social position as a man with multiple baby mommas, if she were an average person.

        I didn’t say that people who have kids out of wedlock or who get married before adulthood deserve to be kicked out of society and neither do people who pick their nose in public or who steal from the collection plate at church. I said it’s embarrassing and probably shouldn’t be encouraged.

      • Wataba@sh.itjust.works
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        1 day ago

        I’d shame a woman for being a massive creep about the whole thing, and layering transphobia on top of that.

      • Bobby@leminal.space
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        1 day ago

        As a man not taking care of your multiple kids is embarrassing and most guys can’t mentally or financially afford to take care of multiple kids. Paying child support instead of providing for your kid day to day is embarrassing. Multiple child support payments can bankrupt you, they’ll dock your wages. Not paying child support is a felony in some States. Of course this is only the rule for us poors.

        Nailing multiple hoes with no protection is a gamble on getting a kid or an STD. It’s incredibly stupid. This is just how guys in my generation tend to think. Edit: Not that Elon “nailed” anybody, his kids are all from IVF allegedly, which is even more embarrassing than just having multiple kids from different women.

        • bitchkat@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          Most of them are in vitro be ause apparently a botched penis enlargement made it not work.

        • optimisticturtle@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          Not that Elon “nailed” anybody, his kids are all from IVF allegedly, which is even more embarrassing than just having multiple kids from different women.

          And they’re only ever sons too (going by gender assigned by birth).

        • NotMyOldRedditName@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          I dont think its embarrassing, but practical if you want to spread your DNA. He’s had children from actual relationships so it’s not like he can’t, and he can afford to pay for all of them.

          Egotistical sure. Having so many kids you cant be a real father to them and using money to replace that, pretty brutal. Im sure other things too, but I wouldn’t say embarrassing.

          Maybe if it had been the only way he can have kids.

          • Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works
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            1 day ago

            I dont think its embarrassing, but practical if you want to spread your DNA.

            See, that whole mindset is part of the things that should be embarrassing.

          • Bobby@leminal.space
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            1 day ago

            I’m sorry nobody taught you how to be a man, it’s tough when that’s the reality, I can relate to that too. Hang in there.

          • parody@lemmings.world
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            1 day ago

            If child rearing experts are universally not on board (🤞) with the way you’re executing this “practical” plan, it might be embarrassing to have all the resources but not the sense to choose a healthier-for-the-children path.

            Those without that sense probably also won’t be embarrassed, though. Embarrassed for him!

            • NotMyOldRedditName@lemmy.world
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              1 day ago

              The mothers wanted a child, and unless they were going to adopt, were likely going to have IVF through a sperm donor anyway. It’s not like he’s trying to convince someone who doesn’t want a kid to have his kids. He convinced people who wanted to have kids to have his kid.

              So I don’t see how that impacts what a child rearing expert think, since a kid is going to be born to a single mother, or a mother who can’t have a kid naturally with their husband. Unless you’re saying women shouldn’t raise a child alone, via IVF or adoption, which I don’t think you’re trying to say.

              Edit: And in this case, the kid is set for life, albeit with a terrible father (who might have been absent anyway)

              Edit: And if he’s convincing people who do not want kids, to have his kids, well that’s another ball game entirely and is embarrassing.