- cross-posted to:
- programmer_humor@programming.dev
- cross-posted to:
- programmer_humor@programming.dev
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Its a datacenter not a golf course. They’re going to bulldoze the entire lot anyways.
Warning, don’t plant bamboo underneath the restrained torsos of Musk, Bezos, Zuckerberg, O’Leary, etc. as they grow so quickly with hard rigid points that they can break through a human torso in 3 days.
if its a ai datacenter that guzzles water like it has no limits,am planting lots of bamboo
People, people, please. May I suggest a warm cocktail? It’s always worked in the past.
Bamboo is beginner shit, if you really want to cause trouble, try japanese knotweed. They will never be able to get rid of that!
What are you, a British railway?
The government would hate it if you happened to lose a sizeable device capable of spontaneously combusting near a data center.
I’ve got my bamboo seeds on order. Best case scenario…wild vicious pandas show up and tear everything down in their search for more bamboo. /s
Horseradish spreads quickly underground, and it’s ugly. A friend of mine destroyed his backyard with a small patch of horseradish. Within a few years, his backyard was unusable.
Horse radish sounds really nice to have though.
Bamboo is invasive in north America. Don’t
So are the data centers
Two wrongs do not make a right.
Also let’s be honest memes like these are simply Internet Warriors pretending to do shit but we all know they are doing nothing outside of online activity of posting memes and bitching on social media.
Yeah but the bamboo is going to damage more than just the data center.
I’m not even clear on how the bamboo is supposed to damage the data center.
Datacenter owners can find resources and expertise with their imaginary money.
General public, even under sane administration - probably don’t.
letthemfight.jpg
Fuck em, who cares at this point
You live in the same environment. You’re part of the ‘em getting fucked.
Worth it, also bamboo is super useful, data centers are not
What you REALLY REALLY REALLY SHOULDN’T DO is to introduce Pharaoh ants into or near data centers.
Because…
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10340-018-1024-7
The also reproduce through clonal budding. The build very small colonies (a few hundreds to thousands of ants) and when stressed due to anything, they’ll move their larvae and raise one of them into a new queen to form a new colony. This means Pharaoh ants are practically impossible to eradicate once they get established. They’re also VERY QUICK to move into climate controlled environments. And YES they DO cause severe damage to electrical equipment, and for some GODFORSAKEN SATANIC REASON, they FUCKING LOVE ELECTRICITY and ELECTRICAL EQUIPMENT!
Source, I had to get almost 10k in electrical work done because after hiring a shitty pest control company, their treatments weren’t focused on the biology of pharaoh ants (they didn’t even bother to ID them), and by stressing the population, the EXPLODED the population. The ants then decided that my electric panel and several outlets had become their SWORN enemy, to the point it became a real fire hazard as a seemingly endless series of ants came to die by burning up between some junctions.
Chaotic good post.
Where can i purchase these ants?
Well they have basically a global distribution: https://urbanentomology.tamu.edu/urban-pests/ants/pharoah/
But if you need a quick fix, I know a guy who knows a guy… hint hint nudge nudge…
Can you cross breed them with fireants?
You can come to my house and take them all
Bro, those ants need an uber to the nearest data center.
Two birds with one stone? Smart!
Do not plant eucalyptus either.
Everyone goes for eucalyptus try teatree
deleted by creator
Please don’t plant bamboo in non-native areas. It’s much better to find a protected native species and plant those instead :)
Maybe black raspberry? Native to much of North America, edible for humans and wildlife, covered in thorns and spreads like a motherfucker.
Clearly putting a small dent in shareholder value is a bigger priority than conserving obsolete and inefficient ecosystems that only survive due to protectionism and tree hugging eco-fundies.
I respect the omission of /s and that you’re taking this firing squad of down votes like a champ.
The /s is cowardice.
Those who appreciate it make it all worthwhile :)
Lol, Bro doesn’t know about biodiversity collapse and how it will effect them.
To be fair once a data center is built there’s probably not much biodiversity left to collapse.
This seems like a concern for a person who believes he lives in a world with a future, not a person seeking revenge for the destruction and loss of the future he believes he’s already lost.
See that’s where you’re wrong.
Not extreme enough for satire in 2026
Clearly the only way to protect the ecosystem is to destroy it ourselves?
it also strangles basically any native plant it spreads close to, lowering local biodiversity and lowering soil quality. and it grows extremely quickly. not a good thing to plant more of, no matter how pure your motives.
*notices comm name*
uh… fuck you op…?
Nah! *Fuck yo data centers!
Here ya go
I mean, same can be said about datacenters…
yeah but if you blow up a datacenter it won’t spontaneously regenerate in your backyard
In this insane world, I’m not so sure.
Don’t think planting possibly invasive species will solve any problems.
looks at the community name
Mmh MMMH
Wow. In the novel Soft Apocalypse by Will McIntosh, eco terrorists develop a strain of bamboo that will grow through anything. They plant it to tear up buildings, roads, and the occasional human. Now we just need someone to create the Dr Happy pill.
Supposably that was a form of execution in ancient china. They would stake the victim over a bamboo sprout which would eventually grow through their chest.
I was just about to say Soft Apocalypse. Excellent book. Kinda has a happy ending? Not a reread though.
I’ve reread, but there is a violent animal death I have to skip.
k u d z u
Alas they just spray uber-fucking-grade defoliant and destroy all the plant life that was there to begin with.
