If she is saying this at this point it feels like she feels that he is neglecting her to play video games
So the line ‘While you are obviously more important to me than some silly games’ is not obvious at all, to the point where she feels like she is not important to him at all and thus worth ending the relationship over (since there is effectively no relationship)
In fact I’d argue this is a complete strawman of a meme and designed entirely just to make 1 person look bad and the other feel smug and superior 🤓
I’ve personally had a girlfriend criticize my video game playing. While she was on vacation. In the first month of dating her. She was saying that playing video games was immature and that I really should only play video games to spend time with my nephew. This meme resonated with me because it reminded me to respect myself and my hobbies even if I get shamed for it by women.
Yep. I don’t understand why people can’t admit this stuff. Some people, many of them women, have an irrational negative view of video games, based on stigmatic beliefs that are objectively untrue.
I’ve had women bring this up to me. I was not neglecting them. They simple HATED video games and thought they were awful and terrible. They were a ‘waste of time’. Meanwhile her scrolling on her phone hours a day is not.
Often it’s because the other person is insecure and controlling and has double standards.
You’re right - it may feel obvious to him but not her. But saying “sometimes I feel neglected, let’s figure out how to fix that” is much healthier than saying “stop or I’ll leave”
It seems like you’ve never had a partner who tries to totally monopolize your time, and treats any time not spent focused on them as neglect. I can assure you this is no straw man.
My ex wife did this. Also, didnt allow me to go to bed until she was ready, which meant that I’d be going to bed at 2 am every night, which is terrible when you have to wake up at 4 to be at work by 5:30 every morning.
Literally sitting on the same couch with her leaning on me, I’m reading a book and she is watching tv; “I don’t feel like we spend any time together anymore.”
You might have some neurodivergence. I was diagnosed with ADHD (Inattentive-Moderate) and I recognise this situation.
You are happy and fulfilled by ‘parallel play’ where you are with someone but you are each doing your own thing.
It sounds like your partner is asking for dedicated quality time. With active interaction.
So here’s what you do: Buy LEGO.
Nothing major (at first). The Botanical sets are lovely. Then you pick an evening, put on some background music and sit across from each other building your own set and talking about stupid garbage.
Once you’re done, order some food in and cuddle on the couch with a comfy movie. (WALL-E, Spirited Away, Hot Fuzz. Something like that).
Maybe, if you’re a giga-chad, you sneak some fancy dessert into the house earlier in the day.
I don’t know why they downvotes. Parallel play isn’t for everyone but it’s a great idea to try, neurodivergent or not, to see if that satisfies both parties on feeling they spent some quality time together.
My partner sometimes mentions spending more time together. I want it to be more quality time though and not just sat watching brainrot reality TV.
At least that isn’t all she watches, there are some things she likes that I do enjoy watching together. But when she finds a few new reality TV things and watches that I will just go and do something else.
for some folks it means you can’t have any other hobbies/friends/interests that dont include them.
this is called co-dependency.
I had a girlfriend once who basically would not let me leave the house without her, to like even go buy milk. she was so insecure she lacked object permanence. Of course, I didn’t know this about her until we lived together. But basically after a few months we broke up because I was basically living with a toddler, and in her mind I was the abusive awful person, for thinking I could go leave the house for 5 minutes without her, and fi I wanted to like come home later and get some time alone, that was ABUSE.
Oh right, and she used to run every morning and if I was feeling sick or otherwise not up to running with her… I was ABUSING HER.
Her own parents tried to talk her down out of absurd was she was being, but she simple took that as me having manipulated her parents to my side… yeah… she was not well.
Suffice to say in reality there would be context to indicate who in that partnership would be the unreasonable one. As presented, no way to know if he gamed once in a while and she is annoyed because she is disdainful of the activity, or if he is marathon gaming and never engaging with her.
It is a strawman but giving an ultimatum is also a nuclear option in a relationship and it’s over when the other person said “it’s me or…”, that is the last argument of a failed relationship. Does the first person have an unhealthy habit that they are unwilling to change, possibly, but if you’re trying to change someone to fit your wants and needs then you’re not ever going to be in a healthy relationship.
Maybe you or they change or develop a new habit during along relationship, well then everyone has communicate in a healthy manner and then there’s possiblity of breaking off the relationship.
But I’ve seen this scenario more than once where the partner went straight for the ultimatum and the obvious defense to me would be to not engage or deflect because that’s a Kobayashi Maru.
See and I took it as the same neurospicy toxic culture that seems to be growing from all these young men that are just generally immature and angry.
Though god forbid you highlight that because many of them will rail back because they have all the time in the world because they’re all losers and some of them are mods and will delete your comments anyways.
If she is saying this at this point it feels like she feels that he is neglecting her to play video games
So the line ‘While you are obviously more important to me than some silly games’ is not obvious at all, to the point where she feels like she is not important to him at all and thus worth ending the relationship over (since there is effectively no relationship)
In fact I’d argue this is a complete strawman of a meme and designed entirely just to make 1 person look bad and the other feel smug and superior 🤓
I’ve personally had a girlfriend criticize my video game playing. While she was on vacation. In the first month of dating her. She was saying that playing video games was immature and that I really should only play video games to spend time with my nephew. This meme resonated with me because it reminded me to respect myself and my hobbies even if I get shamed for it by women.
Believe it or not, women can be toxic too.
Yep. I don’t understand why people can’t admit this stuff. Some people, many of them women, have an irrational negative view of video games, based on stigmatic beliefs that are objectively untrue.
No, it’s not.
I’ve had women bring this up to me. I was not neglecting them. They simple HATED video games and thought they were awful and terrible. They were a ‘waste of time’. Meanwhile her scrolling on her phone hours a day is not.
Often it’s because the other person is insecure and controlling and has double standards.
You’re right - it may feel obvious to him but not her. But saying “sometimes I feel neglected, let’s figure out how to fix that” is much healthier than saying “stop or I’ll leave”
Take memes seriously and get into arguments on the internet!
It seems like you’ve never had a partner who tries to totally monopolize your time, and treats any time not spent focused on them as neglect. I can assure you this is no straw man.
My ex wife did this. Also, didnt allow me to go to bed until she was ready, which meant that I’d be going to bed at 2 am every night, which is terrible when you have to wake up at 4 to be at work by 5:30 every morning.
Literally sitting on the same couch with her leaning on me, I’m reading a book and she is watching tv; “I don’t feel like we spend any time together anymore.”
So!
You might have some neurodivergence. I was diagnosed with ADHD (Inattentive-Moderate) and I recognise this situation.
You are happy and fulfilled by ‘parallel play’ where you are with someone but you are each doing your own thing.
It sounds like your partner is asking for dedicated quality time. With active interaction.
So here’s what you do: Buy LEGO.
Nothing major (at first). The Botanical sets are lovely. Then you pick an evening, put on some background music and sit across from each other building your own set and talking about stupid garbage.
Once you’re done, order some food in and cuddle on the couch with a comfy movie. (WALL-E, Spirited Away, Hot Fuzz. Something like that).
Maybe, if you’re a giga-chad, you sneak some fancy dessert into the house earlier in the day.
I don’t know why they downvotes. Parallel play isn’t for everyone but it’s a great idea to try, neurodivergent or not, to see if that satisfies both parties on feeling they spent some quality time together.
down votes because armchair diagnosing people is an asshole move.
I reckon people have different opinions on “what spending time together” entails - ranging from
My partner sometimes mentions spending more time together. I want it to be more quality time though and not just sat watching brainrot reality TV.
At least that isn’t all she watches, there are some things she likes that I do enjoy watching together. But when she finds a few new reality TV things and watches that I will just go and do something else.
for some folks it means you can’t have any other hobbies/friends/interests that dont include them.
this is called co-dependency.
I had a girlfriend once who basically would not let me leave the house without her, to like even go buy milk. she was so insecure she lacked object permanence. Of course, I didn’t know this about her until we lived together. But basically after a few months we broke up because I was basically living with a toddler, and in her mind I was the abusive awful person, for thinking I could go leave the house for 5 minutes without her, and fi I wanted to like come home later and get some time alone, that was ABUSE.
Oh right, and she used to run every morning and if I was feeling sick or otherwise not up to running with her… I was ABUSING HER.
Her own parents tried to talk her down out of absurd was she was being, but she simple took that as me having manipulated her parents to my side… yeah… she was not well.
Suffice to say in reality there would be context to indicate who in that partnership would be the unreasonable one. As presented, no way to know if he gamed once in a while and she is annoyed because she is disdainful of the activity, or if he is marathon gaming and never engaging with her.
Ok, well then the partner whose time is being monopolized has agency and probably should have ended the relationship before this conversation
Easier said than done sometimes.
Definitely. Relationships are hard
Does it change anything at all that it’s just a meme and not a real description of life?
Does that change anything at all for you?
It is a strawman but giving an ultimatum is also a nuclear option in a relationship and it’s over when the other person said “it’s me or…”, that is the last argument of a failed relationship. Does the first person have an unhealthy habit that they are unwilling to change, possibly, but if you’re trying to change someone to fit your wants and needs then you’re not ever going to be in a healthy relationship.
Maybe you or they change or develop a new habit during along relationship, well then everyone has communicate in a healthy manner and then there’s possiblity of breaking off the relationship.
But I’ve seen this scenario more than once where the partner went straight for the ultimatum and the obvious defense to me would be to not engage or deflect because that’s a Kobayashi Maru.
I took it as a non serious joke riffing of a common meme.
See and I took it as the same neurospicy toxic culture that seems to be growing from all these young men that are just generally immature and angry.
Though god forbid you highlight that because many of them will rail back because they have all the time in the world because they’re all losers and some of them are mods and will delete your comments anyways.
Yeah you had me in the first half but went off the rails there