Midtwenties and it feels over in a lot of ways. The majority of friends I’ve made growing up or in college are gone. People have spread out and started focusing on their own lives. Even people that I only ever knew online have began moving on.
In a lot of ways this has been fine because I’ve just turned inward and started focusing on myself too, started being selfish about what I want. I miss seeing a lot of my friends in person rather than random texts or seeing their stories on snap.
It’s very confusing at times because I enjoy being able to do whatever I want when I want without consulting anyone but I also miss having people to do things with.
Let people go. You cant hold onto them forever, even in the best of cases. I have people who i consider my best friends that I haven’t seen in years. Maybe never again.
The river of life has many branches, we just floated down different ones. Dont take it personally.
Find a socially based hobby! I’ve been going to a weekly language exchange for a couple of years and it’s just as much language practice as it is social hangout.
Join a club! Having a group of people you see every week that are happy you’re there is what got me out of my worst depression. I’m in a run club and organize a mountain bike club, but if that’s not your speed there’s lots of others. An improv club/class will probably give you incredible social skills. But there’s roleplay clubs, book clubs, bowling/league night, kickball, knitting, and probably a bunch I can’t think of.
One of the last true 3rd places I’ve found is dog parks. If you go consistently at the same time each day you’ll be seeing a lot of the same people, who generally are down to chat. You can talk about their dog to break the ice, and I doubt people would even mind if you don’t have a dog.
seconding what the other person said. just go hang out in public places, preferably ones where you can do something and have a natural reason to approach people.
it isn’t going to happen immediately. but eventually you will strike up conversations with people, and some of those will be good conversations, and some of those will be with people you like, and some of those will be with people who like you. and then you gotta actually get their contact info or plan to meet up again, maybe doing other things.
![Life After I Turned 30 [Sarah's Scribbles]](https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/b94fec98-d913-4a27-a03b-787fcfbfc8b1.jpeg){kind=link}
Midtwenties and it feels over in a lot of ways. The majority of friends I’ve made growing up or in college are gone. People have spread out and started focusing on their own lives. Even people that I only ever knew online have began moving on.
In a lot of ways this has been fine because I’ve just turned inward and started focusing on myself too, started being selfish about what I want. I miss seeing a lot of my friends in person rather than random texts or seeing their stories on snap.
It’s very confusing at times because I enjoy being able to do whatever I want when I want without consulting anyone but I also miss having people to do things with.
Let people go. You cant hold onto them forever, even in the best of cases. I have people who i consider my best friends that I haven’t seen in years. Maybe never again.
The river of life has many branches, we just floated down different ones. Dont take it personally.
I’ve let go of them but the issue is finding new people to replace them.
Accept lamer people like work colleagues and such.
Find a socially based hobby! I’ve been going to a weekly language exchange for a couple of years and it’s just as much language practice as it is social hangout.
This^ And that’s the beauty of the 30s because I think that’s about when you likely start to realize and understand this. It’s freeing.
It’s hard because there seems to be no place to hang out and meet people either. Not for a date, just to chill and make friends.
Join a club! Having a group of people you see every week that are happy you’re there is what got me out of my worst depression. I’m in a run club and organize a mountain bike club, but if that’s not your speed there’s lots of others. An improv club/class will probably give you incredible social skills. But there’s roleplay clubs, book clubs, bowling/league night, kickball, knitting, and probably a bunch I can’t think of.
One of the last true 3rd places I’ve found is dog parks. If you go consistently at the same time each day you’ll be seeing a lot of the same people, who generally are down to chat. You can talk about their dog to break the ice, and I doubt people would even mind if you don’t have a dog.
seconding what the other person said. just go hang out in public places, preferably ones where you can do something and have a natural reason to approach people.
it isn’t going to happen immediately. but eventually you will strike up conversations with people, and some of those will be good conversations, and some of those will be with people you like, and some of those will be with people who like you. and then you gotta actually get their contact info or plan to meet up again, maybe doing other things.