fyi: it’s “drugs”

  • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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    1 day ago

    I’m a dude and I wouldn’t feel safe going to a party naked, drunk or not.

    I’m also not prone to going to house parties, or getting drunk/doing drugs, so I might be an outlier here.

    To be blunt, unless you’re in a context where it’s normalized, being naked in any situation is probably an unsafe activity, regardless of gender, or the environment. The obvious exceptions here being private or secured spaces, including bathrooms, changing rooms/locker rooms, and other public facilities like showers and such. Any medical situation. Also, any nudist areas… Probably more that I’m not thinking about.

    Just because, as a man, I’m not as likely to be raped, doesn’t mean it can’t happen, or even that it’s unlikely to happen. I have no doubt that every community including the LGBTQIA+ communities, have some rapists in their ranks. Not many, surely, but not zero either. So there’s a nontrivial chance of me, as a guy, going to a house party drunk, doing drugs, then getting raped, either by a man, or a woman.

    This is a human problem.

    At the same time, I recognize that women are raped in far higher numbers than men, or at least that’s what the statistics show, so there’s extra risk there based on the statistics alone. That doesn’t make it safe for a dude to go and do the same thing.

    • velma@sh.itjust.works
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      The obvious exceptions here being private or secured spaces, including bathrooms, changing rooms/locker rooms, and other public facilities like showers and such. Any medical situation. Also, any nudist areas

      Those are dangerous for women, too.

      You’re missing the point that even naked and doing drugs, no one should be raped. It’s not an invitation.

      The danger comes from others willing to take advantage of someone in that situation, not the situation itself.

      • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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        1 day ago

        You and I agree, as far as I can tell.

        I think we both disagree with this statement (which spurred my comment):

        Can a man go to a party naked and drunk without it being unsafe? Mostly yes?

        The answer is no. This isn’t really a gender problem. It’s a rape problem. Just don’t fucking rape people.

        • velma@sh.itjust.works
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          The answer is no. This isn’t really a gender problem. It’s a rape problem. Just don’t fucking rape people.

          Please stop diminishing the facts about rape.

          You’re getting caught up in the nitty gritty details of the meme scenario without looking at the big picture.

          Yes, men and women are raped. It does no good to pretend like they’re being raped in a vacuum by some faceless entity we can’t identify.

          76% of reported rapes are perpetrated by someone the victim already knew

          When we talk about sexual violence, the focus too often falls on what survivors did, where they were, or whether they reported. But rape happens because someone chooses to violate another person’s consent.

          According to FBI crime data, an average of 107,418 U.S. men are the perpetrators of reported rape each year.

          Each year, an average of 5,510 female perpetrators are reported for rape, according to law enforcement reporting.

          • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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            1 day ago

            You seem very much like a troll.

            I don’t see how I’m diminishing the facts about rape at all. It’s a horrendous crime that shouldn’t happen.

            But if you wish to keep babbling to yourself about it for some unknown goal, have at it.

            I think you’ll be hard pressed to find anyone who thinks that rape isn’t a big deal, or anyone who doesn’t think that is a bad thing… Apart from rapists I guess…

            So I’m not sure what you’re trying to prove here? You seem to be lost in the midst of about 13 different conversations about this and I think you’ve lost the plot.

            • velma@sh.itjust.works
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              I think you’ll be hard pressed to find anyone who thinks that rape isn’t a big deal, or anyone who doesn’t think that is a bad thing… Apart from rapists I guess…

              Keep pretending rape culture doesn’t exist, I guess.

    • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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      1 day ago

      I think the “human problem” is another problem entirely, and imo handwaves the fact that there is one very specific gendered dynamic where this is a problem, to the point where we in the comments are going like “well obviously there are going to be some rapists in mixed company, and given the opportunity to rape…”

      That is rape culture right up in here, and there are things we can do to mitigate it.

      It’s like both cars and cyclists can injure pedestrians but there are reasons why one of these is much more prevalent. Bad analogy but hopefully you can look past it to see my point.

      • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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        1 day ago

        I like you, you can come to my house parties.

        I’m not denying, nor am I trying to deny that the scales are not balanced in terms of perpetrators and victims of rape.

        Nor do I mean to say, nor imply, that there are not groups of rapists, and people who are okay with them, or support them.

        I also equally recognise that the number of people in those groups is relatively small in comparison to the overall population.

        That doesn’t and shouldn’t imply that I don’t think something should be done.

        The problem is anyone who is complacent with the act, who perpetrates the act, anyone who covers up the act, and any judge, jury, or court, that would deny someone justice in the face of evidence of the act, even if that evidence is simply the victims side of the story.

        I also think anyone using an accusation of rape to smear someone or get them in trouble, when no crime has been committed, should be severely punished for creating a false report.

        In my opinion, everyone should be doing everything to find, report, and/or otherwise stop rapists at all times, in every circumstance. It should be the duty of every individual in society to put these people in jail, or stop them by whatever means are necessary. To me, the only ones that are not committed to this, are rapists, sympathisers, or enablers, all of which should be given the same punishment.

        It’s not up to me to say what that punishment should be. That’s up to society. I am not a rapist, nor am I a victim, so I have no basis to judge what a fair punishment should be, nor do I have any stake in making that punishment any less severe than what the victims need that would best help with their recovery from such a trauma.

        • velma@sh.itjust.works
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          I also think anyone using an accusation of rape to smear someone or get them in trouble, when no crime has been committed, should be severely punished for creating a false report.

          You just had to elevate false reports to the same level as actual rape, didn’t you?

          Jesus Christ.