It was obsolete before you even bought it. It has a shitty celeron.
People were calling this out for the bullshit it was back in the day… Marketing wank is marketing wank.
Reading the tag it’s saying you can spend $99 to upgrade to the latest model every two years as you would a cellphone, fulfilling the promise of you never having an obsolete pc.
Fine print. Probably didn’t work out well.
Special eMachines™ Upgrade for $99 to eMachines™Network Members Only
Subscribe to the eMachines™ Network for 24 consecutive months and we’ll upgrade your eMachines™ for only $99 (plus shipping)!
Here’s how it works: If you live in the contiguous U.S. or Canada, we’ll contact you after you’ve subscribed to The eMachines™ Network for 24 months and offer to upgrade your eMachines™ PC to whatever processor technology is built into whatever eMachines™ PC you can buy at the time of the upgrade for whatever you paid for your original machine. For example, let’s say your eTower* PC was priced at $399 (not including promotional discount) and runs a 366 MHz processor, but at the time of the upgrade $399 would buy an 800MHz eTower. We’ll upgrade your eTower* to 800MHz.
All you have to do is ship us your PC within 90 days, plus $99 (or Canadian equivalent), proof of purchase and payment for return shipping. We’ll promptly upgrade it and return it. Note: you’ll have to back-up your data to avoid accidental loss, and use the original packaging (we have replacement packaging available). See more detailed information"
whatever eMachines™ PC you can buy at the time of the upgrade for whatever you paid for your original machine
“All our current PC’s are priced higher than your was, eat shit”
This annoys me every time it comes up because if you read the fine print, they’re not literally saying that the computer will last forever as-is, they’re selling a subscription service. I mean you can literally read what it says in the pic: for $99 you can upgrade to a new PC ever two years, effectively meaning that your PC will never be obsolete, so long as you keep paying the fee.
Sure, but unless the company is still in business (I assume it is not), the joke still stands.
Those cases were beast, it’s theoretically true, but it isn’t likely possible due to the company itself likely becoming obsolete and if not, it’s certainly not $99 anymore.
Sweet. An ewaste subscription.
Basically lol
Your computer rocks but it was obsolete before you even opened the box.
I miss the old Gateway cow PCs. This would make a pretty sick sleeper PC to bring to LAN parties.
Just missing this sticker
Itll run NetBSD.
I was there, Gandalf. IIRC this was because emachines had a type of subscription program for upgrades. They were shit machines, btw. The power supplies were trash and had a non-standard form factor.
On the right side, upgrade to the latest every 2 years for $99.
However, you had to ship the current machine back to them at your own expense, and have no computer while you waited on the new one.
It was an upgrade scheme carefully crafted to be such a pain in the arse that nobody would use it.
Hey but the CRT it came with still works today and looks better than anything over VGA on dreamcast!
My 566i2 had a Celeron with no cache, Windows ME, and a CD-ROM drive. The worst of all worlds. Still loved that piece of shit to death. It ran Halo so badly that a friend and I once managed to snipe each other simultaneously.
I was at a friend’s house and we decided to play alien vs predator. And I was gaming on his brother’s old machine. The game ran so badly that all I did was run in circles to attract the enemy while he shot them. I think I got a solid one or two frames per second out of that thing.
Still it was absolutely hilarious, and we laughed half the day.
In terms of computational power, no, wrong.
In terms of aesthetic style, yes, correct.
love the aesthetic of disposable, cheap, commoditized plastic. Really screams “consumerism”
Disposable? You can reuse them for your next build usually.
Cheap? Not really.
Commodotized. Well the interior yeah, but not the exteriors.
Nice thing about PC cases is that you can, with a bit of modification, put new stuff in an old shell.
Do that, and now you’re either being ironic, retro, or just actually recycling.
64 MB RAM and 3D graphics? That’s more than most of us can afford nowadays!
DVD drive was hella fancy for a windows 98 system.
That RAM’s gotta be worth a pretty penny
Hide it from Sammy
A game port on the front would have been so useful. I hated reaching around the back to screw/unscrew that thing.
What was even the point of the Game Port (and why was it on the sound card)? I always wanted a PC with one—and by the time I finally got one—it went completely unused because every joystick and controller I ever owned only ever had a serial or USB connection.
People under 40
“Game port? Screw in?”
this meme is worth at least two beans, a jeans, and one orb
so i’d say that thing’s still worth a small fortune
