• Reygle@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Deer ARE beautiful creatures, but as a person who lives in the north I can absolutely confirm they are some of the dumbest fucking animals on the planet. They have exactly 1 reaction to any stimuli. Flight. Run like hell or ??die?? In my area they panic, run straight at headlights and cars screaming past.
    Really THINK about that. A robin, a crow, or an ant has more thinking power in an pea-sized sized brain.
    They’re not going to be splitting the atom any time soon. Don’t feel bad for them, just admire the one standing out in the field for its beauty and watch the F out on a country road.

    Venison is delicious. Sorry not sorry. If they weren’t hunted we’d be drowning in them.

    • Jumi@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      To your last sentence, if we hadn’t killed their predators we wouldn’t have that problem.

      And venison salami is the best.

      • Reygle@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        To your point, I think if their natural predators were still around we’d also have a lot fewer children around.

        Venison salami IS delicious.

        • blargh513@sh.itjust.works
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          2 days ago

          I’m here to represent the Wolf In Your Neighborhood Movement.

          With enough funds raised, we can deliver a pack of wild ass wolves to a neighborhood of your choosing. It might be yours, it might be that of a neighboring community.

          Our wolves are bred to the highest standards and are promised to be the most lean, fast, and aggressive wolves you can find anywhere. They’re real assholes.

          They solve many problems such as:

          People who jog in the road Irritating pets left outside/unsupervised Irritating children left outside/unsupervised Too many deer Humans that lack common sense Humans that cannot run fast Humans that are taking out their trash Porch pirates Caribbean Pirates Door to door solicitations Religious folks

          If you’re willing to donate money to our cause, we can have a pack of wolves into the neighborhood of your choosing in under 30 days.

        • Anivia@feddit.org
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          1 day ago

          To your point, I think if their natural predators were still around we’d also have a lot fewer children around.

          Sounds like a win-win situation to me

          • Reygle@lemmy.world
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            2 days ago

            You’re silly, I like you. Their natural predators will gladly figure out how to open the sliding door on your back porch to explore.

          • Bytemeister@lemmy.world
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            2 days ago

            Yeah, but all the inattentive parents can now successfully pass on their genes and social values… Which is why we’re seeing a huge age verification push online right now. If those people or their children got mauled or eaten at higher rates then we wouldn’t have this problem.

          • village604@adultswim.fan
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            2 days ago

            In my state, hogs are such a problem that you can charter a helicopter to shoot them with a minigun.

            The no hunting limit will come in handy when the famine starts.

        • LumiNocta@lemmy.zip
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          2 days ago

          What a fantastic discussion this is my god I love the agreeableness of it all.

          Never had venison salami, want to try now.

    • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Best lasagna you’ll ever have is 75% ground venison mixed 25% with the fattiest ground beef you can get. Same for a super dense and heavy meatloaf.

    • alekwithak@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Yeah, but… Why do we base a creature’s right to exist on their intelligence as perceived by us? We have no idea what headlights look like to them or how stressful it is being a keystone prey species. I certainly wouldn’t want to walk a mile in their shoes. Personally they’re a massive nuisance and garden pest, but I understand we brought our* houses to them and not the other way around, so I don’t hold it against them.

      They’re not going to be splitting the atom any time soon.

      Oh, well actually that I do hold against them. Nevermind.

      • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today
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        1 day ago

        Kind of true by how we treat humans as well, actually. Even the most progressive person seems to cheer for a Darwin Award from a MAGA member.

        Intelligence is repeatedly the one exception to the eugenics is bad rule, I know best about that.

    • Katana314@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Part of me wants the USA to have a venison industry so it’s commonly available in grocery stores, off the efforts of hunters.

      But, that industry would commit itself to forever existence and growth. If someone could be trusted to let that practice stop when deer population balances, or even work to ensure people replace farmed meat consumption with hunted, then it could be beneficial.

      But…yeah, that’s a big “if”.

      • Reygle@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        I’d be happy if the DNR just let people in the butcher businesses handle the road kills, IF they agree to donate the meat to local food pantries.
        But yeah- fuck capitalism either way.

        • nomy@lemmy.zip
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          2 days ago

          Where I am CWD is starting to become an issue. So much so that they enforce mandatory testing during opening weekend. Prion diseases are terrifying and have put a damper on the gifting of meat sticks and backstrap sadly.

    • Dasus@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      No no, they have two responses, flight and freeze.

      If they only had flight they’d be somewhat more predictable. As it is, you can’t trust them to even move when needed.

      And I agree that venison is fucking delicious. Love me some venison mince ragu, get rosemary in the meat. Mmm.

        • Dasus@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          It can feel a bit dramatic when they’re there literally a deer in your headlights, and you’re on a dark, icy road in the backwoods, doing 80kph.

          And the motherfucker won’t move.

          The only thing to do is to try to dodge them from whichever way they’re coming from.

          And sometimes, it’s not a 60kg deer, but a 500kg moose. And them mofos are almost as stupid, twice as stubborn and also have an aggressive mode. (Albeit it’s kinda rare.)

    • InputZero@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      and watch the F out on a country road.

      This is the internet. You don’t have to censor yourself. You can say fuck here.