• spicy pancake@lemmy.zip
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    10 hours ago

    “partner gets WAY more into the kink than the one who initially proposed it” is funny in pretty much every configuration lmao

      • Th3D3k0y@lemmy.world
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        17 minutes ago

        I don’t understand vore. No shame if you like it, I just don’t know how is supposed to play out

        • spicy pancake@lemmy.zip
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          1 minute ago

          it’s pretty solidly in the fantasy only* realm lol. kinda like giantess, transformation, monster girl, etc. people know it’s not gonna happen IRL. that’s probably why these types of kinks seem overrepresented on the internet, as opposed to more logistically feasible things like consensually hitting each other, outfits, etc.

          *i mean at least in this century

  • St.Elsewhere@threads.net@sh.itjust.works
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    9 hours ago

    I don’t get race play. I’ve been with people of other races and never even began to consider race play. I have to wonder how someone finds it sexy to consider race. Is it related to dom/sub, but expanded to all of society?

    • cattywampus@lemmy.world
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      12 minutes ago

      Tell humans something is naughty or bad and some will find a thrill in it regardless of what it is. Also it’s a power exchange which is a very common dynamic humans enjoy in and outside the bedroom.

    • spicy pancake@lemmy.zip
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      16 minutes ago

      most taboo subject kinks revolve heavily around the fact that it just is taboo, and the actual taboo itself is more of a flavor (at least in healthy use cases)

      I’m a part time professional dominatrix and have had two clients whose sessions involved race play. One where it was the main thing, and the other just part of it. For both of them I could tell they were deriving pleasure from the power exchange aspect, and the race thing was just the specific form it took for them

      It makes sense that for a majority of people, it’s going to be completely unsexy and seem strange and incomprehensible. If it weren’t, it wouldn’t be a kink

    • Zozano@aussie.zone
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      4 hours ago

      One observation I’ve made is that the people most obsessed with BBC type content: white men.

      I can’t say for certain, but it feels like some kind of victim complex type shit.

      It’s like they consider White / Asian women who have sex with black men to be “dirtier”.

      • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
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        2 hours ago

        I (white woman) was chatting with a black man on a dating app some years back. Everything was going well until he started talking about my skin and how excited it made him. I tried to direct the conversation elsewhere, but he kept going back to the topic. It gave me the ick and it quickly became clear that’s the main thing he liked about me. That’s when I stopped talking to him.

        I think it’s cool to be physical with someone with a different color skin - it’s interesting, but it’s a small detail in the grand scheme of things. If you’re more interested in someone’s color than in who they are as a person, that’s taking it too far. Maybe some people are down for being fetishized, but I’m not into that.

        But with that said, you’re probably right - I don’t doubt white men do it more often, I just wouldn’t be the target of it and thus don’t see it as much. I feel for my sisters of color. I only had the one experience (so far), but I imagine they’ve dealt with it much more frequently. It sucks when you think you’re meeting someone cool and it turns out they can’t see beyond the most superficial of your features.

      • formation@sh.itjust.works
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        2 hours ago

        Nah its just straight up white power move to enjoy BBC

        What im saying its inherently racist, like using the term BULL they’re being objectified for their race. I dont think its right.

    • A_Wild_Alt_Appears@fedinsfw.app
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      6 hours ago

      Much of kink is people playing with the things that feel heavy to them in ways that push their buttons.

      Race and the dynamics around it are a heavy thing that we internalize as part of our social conditioning, and for some people they have a desire to play with it.

      Personally I have no interest, and its important for people to remember that the heavy things they like to play with are difficult subjects and to treat them with care (often people do not adequately engage with why raceplay is so heavy, and then engage with others in a shitty way as a result. At which point it is not play, just racism). But as long as folks treat the subject with the appropriate respect and sensitivity until they’ve negotiated a dynamic and then stay within what’s negotiated I see it as being similar to all the other ways folks like to play with the things that are heavy to them. Like consentual nonconsent, where people roleplay nonconsentual sex, or forced feminization as a way of playing with the harmful way men are measured against a metric of masculinity and punished for failing by comparing them to women as degradation.

      But then, I’m white, so folks actually impacted by the heaviness of the subject may feel differently, and its important to listen to people actually impacted by something. In the kink community in my area it crops up as a point of contention periodically.

      • Avicenna@programming.dev
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        1 hour ago

        I think you are reading too much into it, in many cases it probably is a “different looks interesting” kind of situation. In some cases, especially when it has become a fetish, yea might be a deeper psychological aspect.

    • RachelRodent@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 hour ago

      It has racist roots. Like sissy and bimbo kinks have misogynist roots and orientation play has homophobic roots. None of these kinks are problematic. You are into what you are into and any way two adult consenting partners get each other off should be celebrated.

    • falcunculus@jlai.lu
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      7 hours ago

      Sexual relations are the continuation of normal relations, making sexuality a mirror reflecting society. Findom reflects class relations, D/S reflects gender relations, SM reflects christianity, race play reflects racism, etc.

      • CackNClap@infosec.pub
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        6 hours ago

        SM reflects Christianity? Maybe for some I guess but I’m sure people from all religious backgrounds and none enjoy S&M.

        • formation@sh.itjust.works
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          2 hours ago

          I keep on ending up like this unironically when the relationship starts off closer to 50/50 slowly 60/40 70/30 then they lose their job then its 100/0 forever even when they gain their job back.

      • St.Elsewhere@threads.net@sh.itjust.works
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        9 hours ago

        I can find size, masculinity, feet, smell, whatever sexy because of power dynamics or stimulation. I don’t understand stimulation from race, but power dynamics maybe? But that’s stretching my perspective. Do you engage in race play and are you willing to elucidate me?

    • Dzheyk@sh.itjust.works
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      9 hours ago

      Literally my brother with every game I introduce him to. Makes it where I can never play any with him cuz by the time I can get around to actually playing with him, bruh went and beat the game on his own so he’s trying to speed run it when we play.