First read this as “naming new borns” and I was thinking of names like Paris or London, and all of the comments kind of made sense but were still slightly off. It was a fun, confusing time for me, until I scrolled up and re-read OP. Thanks for listening to my story.
But you forgot, we also have to mispronounce it then get mad if you don’t mispronounce it the right way.
-someone that was born in New berlin, not “new berLIN”, But “new BURlin”.
Yea apperantly Worcester is pronounced “wis-tah”
insert flex tape meme slapping “New” onto the European name
In the west coast we typically just used the name of the native tribe we killed in order to take the land.
Or the Spanish name from when the Spanish took the land a couple hundred years before.
and then we say a prayer thanking the tribe every sunday at church, don’t forget that
In Oklahoma we just use the name of whatever tribe was forcibly relocated there. Although I know of one town that was named after a misspelling of an indian chief’s name. The Apollo 14 CSM pilot lived there.
Yes, I visited Themdamninjuns last time I went through Illinois.
for the purposes of my joke, many people wouldn’t have known - or cared to know - the names of the local tribes
I’ve never been through Illinois
If you are making multiple asides, the standard approach is to use square brackets within the first parentheses, not double parentheses.
e.g.
The dildo was menacing and enormous (likely the biggest I have ever used [nearly 4 feet]).
footnotes1.
1gotta use2
2go3tcha
3 better footnotes
Nah I prefer feeling like I’m reading a 90’s chain email.
Thank you. I think I have it now.
And at some places they even reassign them new genders: The coat of arms of Berne Switzerland has a bear with a red penis. The US town: New Berne has a bear without a penis as a coat of arms. This means during the sea transport, Berne’s bear outed themselves as Transgender and changed their sex to a lady-bear. (At least in my head cannon)

Almost certainly typical American Puritanism.
Wow, history is fascinating!
Hey, give them some credit, they have some diversity - there’s place in europe, new place in europe, mispronounced place in europe, british ruler, catholic saint in spanish, american president, explorer related to america, and of course native american place/tribe, and random native american word
I think you’re just describing how the etymology of most named places works.
mispronounced place in europe
Americans can’t pronounce Illinois
Illin-wah
Kansas
Arkansas
Kansas
Arkansas
Kansas and pirate Kansas
There’s a town in Illinois called Sauget with an ongoing debate over how to pronounce it. None of the dozens of pronunciations are what you’d think.
I vote they settle on changing the name to sausage.
It was Europeans who named those places.
Well, Americans citizens were all immigrants, most were European
Yeah, people from that city or place moved there and named their new home after their old home. There’s a very Dutch area of Michigan with many immigrants from the Netherlands still there. Want to know a couple town names? Holland and Zeeland.
Can’t forget Noordeloos, Vriesland, Overisel, Drenthe, and Borculo. Been to Borculo a few times. Lotsa folks with Dutch/Frisian/Low German surnames in the area, including the (in)famously wealthy Van Andel and De Vos families of Grand Rapids.
Supposedly, the phrase “if you ain’t Dutch, you ain’t much” used to be common here, but I’ve never heard it used unironically. Likely died off with time.
Upstate NY I went to Rome, Alexandria, Mexico, Florence, Norway, Amsterdam, Rotterdam, Denmark, Coppenhagen, etc
EDIT: don’t forget Swastika, NY
Memphis, Tennessee has entered the chat, y’all.
Along with Paris, Tennessee
I’m fairly sure Paris is Europe, not Africa.
Tennessee just loves being cultured. Did you know that Nashville has a full-scale replica of the Parthenon?
They say of the acropolis where the Parthenon is …
Did you know Bourton On The Water model village even has its own model village? It’s like model village Inception.
TIL it’s an ancient Egyption capital.
I mean haven’t you seen the Bass Pro Shops Pyramid? It’s obviously a tribute to ancient Egypt.
That explains Philadelphia and Memphis
With a mangled pronunciation if the place is French!
TBF, the French should pronounce their own language right if they want the rest of us to as well.
Yeah, like “Pointe au Roche”, “Isle La Motte”
There is a small village in Ohio named Buena Vista.
The locals pronounce it in a way that rhymes with Loona Fista
Michigan and Ontario both have Bois Blanc Islands. Michigan’s is “Boys Blank” and Ontario’s is “Bob Low”.
Home of Bob Loblaw’s Law Blog.
Wow, really? We have a own with the same name in CO as well. We pronounce it like, “Byoona Vista” too.
Yeah those people are idiots though. They even claim it’s the Spanish words, they just don’t want to pronounce them like Spanish. So fucking stupid.
To be fair, many Spanish words are bastardizations of Arabic words. This is just how languages evolve. For example the word Guadalupe is believed to derive from Arabic wādī al-lubb (hidden river). When people in my town pronounce it “Guadaloop,” it’s actually closer to the OG than the Spanish is lol
I think there’s a difference between happenstance and purposefully doing it though. What you said is very true, but not purposeful. The people in buena vista know they are mispronouncing it, yet they still call it Spanish and they still do it. Either don’t call it Spanish or don’t do it.
We also have a town named Limon.
Guess how that’s pronounced.
They’re a town in Georgia called Martinez.
They pronounced it Mart-inn-ez
Lol there’s a “byoona vista” is south Ga as well.
And a Bone-a-Vista in NC.
Ohio also has a town named Versailles. Imagine the worst way to pronounce the name of the historical palace in France. That’s right, they pronounce it (VUR - SAY- els).
Paris, Texas is a personal favorite.
Were staying in Paris! …at the Hilton.
In Paris! … Texas.
…on our way to see Paris! … Hilton.
You should check the city names in Florida, no idea what they were thinking













