my gf asked what would happen if she woulbecome sone dune worm monster instead. im like “the physical attraction would probably go away, but i would keep in touch cause that would be so rad”. she looked at me, and kinda wanted to laugh and be mad at me, but instead she let it go 😅
That’s not the face I’d make.
It would be a face of mild amusement and care as I pulled her into my arms to tell her:
“Yes, baby, I’d love you even if you were a doorknob. You’d be the most beautiful doorknob in the world to me. I’d even have to hire a butler to open all the doors in front of me because you would be the only doorknob I’d ever want to hold in my hand.”
Because at the end of the day, coming home to reassure the person you love is a simple and gracious act and is worth every hour of any 14 hour shift.
You would also polish the door knob every day…
Lame. Next.
Nah, sappy yes, but I only laid it on thick in response to the OP who been spamming misogynistic boomer jokes.
Bro oughta take that shit somewhere else.
Wife bad
“If you were a doorknob, I’d start drinking heavily… so that way we can get turnt together.”
“Probably, but I have several questions.”
- Were you always a doorknob, or is this some kind of witch’s curse situation?
- If you were always a doorknob, how did we meet and what was our first date like?
- If this is some curse, what did you do that warranted polymorphism, and how do we change you back. (Would you even want to go back?)
- Could I be cursed to be the door that you’re installed in?
- How would intimacy work between us? I’m simply not creative enough to incorporate a doorknob into this
- Being presumably immortal as a doorknob, or at the very least having a much longer lifespan than us mortals, how would you move on after old age claims me?
Not creative enough to incorporate a doorknob into dat ass?
You could always incorporate the door knob anally.
Adding to that last one;
Are you an antique door knob or cheap one that will fail in 10 years?
Ah, I can answer #5:
drops my pants and backs up to the doorknob this is for you, babe… all that knot training is going to finally pay off
You forgot the most important question of all: in this scenario, am I also a doorknob? It turns out that solves a lot of the other issues…
Are we on the same door or houses across the street?
We are destined to forever see one another yet never to touch again… wow, shit got dark quick!
Could I be cursed to be the door that you’re installed in?
That sounds kinky as fuck.
You’d have to watch everyone as they take her for a turn
Mmm I’m listening
When has this ever happened to anyone?
Coming home after a long day only to deal with your partner’s emotional insecurities that have built up over the day and morphed in sometimes weird forms? Enough times.
It’s a daily thing for me, but I knew about her anxiety when I married her.
I’d love you better as a doorknob…
turns out to be the wrong answer, and I can’t find the undo button 😞
I can stick a doorknob in my ass.
Have you tried jiggling her a little? Or maybe lift while turning?
Try some WD-jelly
What, then everyone can touch you! I’m okay with that, if it’s what you want. Wait, why are you mad? What did I say? How am I in trouble for trying to make you happy? You asked the question, I’m just being supportive…
This unironically my favorite paparazzi photo of all time. It’s entirely relatable on so many levels and I feel like I’m in his shoes.
It’s so funny. I’m wondering if Affleck knows about it’s popularity
Give back his shoes 😡
You made my day.
Ah ok so it’s not from a movie. I was wondering that.
Haha women am I right?
I’ve got one, “When you’re back home after a 24 hour nursing shift and your bf hits you”
It’s cool, the doorknob can still peg you if you’re motivated.
If it’s one of those handle type door knobs you’re in for a wild ride 💦💦💦.
Is there a keyhole?
No. What kind of sick fuck loves a doorknob?
Mad at me for a week. Tells every friend and family member that I don’t love her unconditionally for the rest of our lives. Brings it up at my funeral…
‘What makes you think I loved you to begin with?’
Throwback to a totally unqualified health class sub telling a bunch of preteens:
“You know why they call some girls dooknobs? Cause everybody gets a turn.”
Well that’s really fucked up
