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Sheridan@lemmy.world to 196@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish · 1 day ago

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Sheridan@lemmy.world to 196@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish · 1 day ago
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  • BurgerBaron@quokk.au
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    21 hours ago

    According to the county I live in, if you graffiti a highway train bridge with images of Jesus it’s fine for a decade to leave that up until someone adds little red devil horns, then it gets painted over within a week.

    • explodicle@sh.itjust.works
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      11 hours ago

      That’s why if the city won’t fix the pothole, you should spray paint a dick on it.

  • LORDSMEGMA@sh.itjust.works
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    21 hours ago

    Well, cars weren’t around in Jesus’ time. No idea why they keep asking him to drive

  • s@piefed.world
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    1 day ago

    Yeah but compare their driving record to atheists’ driving record. How often do you see nothing sitting by the side of the road?

  • Almacca@aussie.zone
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    1 day ago

    “Jesus take the wheel!”

    I don’t think he even has a driving licence.

    • yogurtwrong@lemmy.world
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      2 hours ago

      Of course he has a drivers licence, he drove a Honda Accord

      1000001502

    • Someonelol@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 day ago

      Got it revoked for DUI probably. His BAC is the same as wine.

      • Kenny2999@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        If he drove his car into a lake, would it float or would he just burst thru the roof like a bond villain?

        • Untamed_Star@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          6 hours ago

          car would crash into the lake

        • Untamed_Star@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          6 hours ago

          talking about that, how didn’t he fall walking in the water, weren’t there little waves and all that?

        • SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social
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          20 hours ago

          I can’t decide what I would like more.

      • Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        Lol

    • Spezi@feddit.org
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      1 day ago

      turns coolant into wine

      • doomchapel666@lemmy.zip
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        1 day ago

        hell yeah jesus now make my gas infinite too

        • Spezi@feddit.org
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          19 hours ago

          gives you lactose intolerance and turns your gastric juice into milk

  • ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org
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    1 day ago

    I know it’s a meme but… victims of car crashes are not just bad drivers

    • i_ben_fine@midwest.social
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      21 hours ago

      atheists keep running christians off the road!

      there we go, back in meme town

  • Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Atheist: shit, I’m sliding out! Better get this under control.

    Christian: Jesus, take the wheel!

  • FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    They shouldn’t wear seatbelts

    Let them put their faith to the test

    • Tzayad@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      On a serious note.

      I knew a woman who would not wear a seatbelt, her reasoning? If she wore one, it would signal to god that she didn’t trust him.

      • cmbabul@slrpnk.net
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        23 hours ago

        Did… did you know my mom? She’s literally bitched my entire life about how she shouldn’t have to wear one if she doesn’t want to and that if she died in an accident she would “go on to glory”, it took my baby brother balling his eyes out that he didn’t want her to die to get her to do it. I still have doubts that she wears one if she’s in the car by herself. For context I’m now in my 40s

        • rumschlumpel@feddit.org
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          8 hours ago

          Damn, literal death cult.

      • AbsolutelyClawless@piefed.social
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        1 day ago

        I saw a video where daughters were arguing with their mother about turning the car off while it was being fueled. She refused to because “do you not trust Jesus? If we die, it is God’s will. I trust him and will not interfere”. Dangerous morons.

      • Beangut@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        That’s cool, did you use ‘knew’ as in before she flew out a windscreen?

        • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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          6 hours ago

          does she believe in airbags.

      • FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        There’s stupid, then there’s religious stupid…

  • alapakala@quokk.au
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    1 day ago

    Blame the vehicle industry.
    A good Christian rides camels, horses, and multiple wifes.

    • Kairos@lemmy.today
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      1 day ago

      Ride… the wives?

      • Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world
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        18 hours ago

        • dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world
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          6 hours ago

          How would a centaur wear pants

          • Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world
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            3 hours ago

            You want Leah to wear clothes?

            • dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world
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              2 hours ago

              If i have to wear pants then everyone should suffer with me

      • Redditmodstouchgrass@lemmy.zip
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        22 hours ago

      • Redditmodstouchgrass@lemmy.zip
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        22 hours ago

        deleted by creator

      • alapakala@quokk.au
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        1 day ago

        حَرِيمٌ
        monogamy is a recent western sabotage propaganda.

        • Kairos@lemmy.today
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          1 day ago

          I know what a harem is. I was just making a joke about riding wives like animals vs sexually.

          • alapakala@quokk.au
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            1 day ago
            yes

            Awareness ≢ endorsement.
            I love consentual poly{gamy,eros} & promiscuity.
            I am incompatibility with such an objectifying grooming dominant religion.
            Free all✊🏿

  • seathru@quokk.au
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    1 day ago

    Yes. I’ve been on motorcycles the better part of my life and I give any vehicles with religious stickers a wide berth.

    College alumni stickers are also an excellent bad driver indicator.

    • finalarbiter@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      22 hours ago

      Interesting, is it any college alumni stickers or are there specific schools that you notice seem to correlate with bad drivers?

  • CPMSP@midwest.social
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    1 day ago

    It’s the perfect religion for being an utter psychopath.

    No matter what, you’re forgiven if you believe some Palestinian dude a couple thousand years ago is the only son of a supreme deity.

    It’s such a dovetail with capitalism it’s criminal; be horrible, go to the good afterlife anyway‽

  • expatriado@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    as a kid used to get in competitions on who would spot more of these crosses during road trips, we got lots of mountain serpentines, thus many of these near cliffs

  • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
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    1 day ago

    … Kinda crazy that a community so dedicated to woke scolding only has one comment that plenty of those are for victims.

    • astropenguin5@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      I may be too hopeful but I assume it’s cuz everyone is smart enough to understand the joke and that it’s not actually making fun of the victims

      • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
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        1 day ago

        Sure bro, that’s why everyone else is competing to be as cruel and bigoted as they can.

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