A fairy sits beside an unmoving man and says “oof hey buddy, did I wake you? It’s me,
the “first layer of your eyeball” fairy”
They lift his eyelid and relate to him “ya that sleep paralysis is pretty strong huh? You are not supposed to be awake but it’s whatever.”
They pause and then continue “So heres how this works, I shave the top part of your eyeball and I leave you a copy of FIFA 2016 for ps4”
A knife approaches the man’s exposed, teary eyeball.


regarding eye surgery - my ex had a LASIK procedure done, and she said the most awful thing about it was the smell of the burnt off eye material.
I got Lasik last year. I could smell it, but idk about that being the worst. I did not care for the calipers that held the eyelids out if the way, or the machine physically suctioning onto the eye itself. I got a lil Valium (thank goodness) and a teddy bear. The bear was forced into my hands, and I remember thinking “oh, the fluff is missing from the middle. I wonder why that is.” when the suction was applied, I squeezed it so I didn’t move or anything. Hands fell right into the cavity of missing fluff. “oh, that’s why” I thought.
I did SMILE couple months back, don’t know what you guys are talking about. No burned eye smell, only a couple of seconds of blindness in one eye, go home, sleep, no pain afterwards. Didn’t hear much either, despite the doc clearly moving a metallic object under my cornea
I was, indeed, seeing subpar and blurry for a month, but now it’s okay.
Might be wrong about this, but don’t they implant a supportive ring for keratoconus?