ngl, this is partially why I enjoyed deleting facebook in 2012. The ability to just impulsively compare myself to others is far too common on sites like that, so the freedom of not even having to worry about mistakenly glancing too long at an old friends profile is never a concern I have.
Same with LinkedIn. When you see someone who graduated in the same year as you, you will start comparing, it is not good…
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Comparing your real, everyday life to someone else’s highlight reel is so much worse. I have been so much happier since getting rid of most social media. All the people I love, I can catch up with via phone calls.
Bro thinks Facebook is real life. Lmao
Yup, people only post the flattering moments.
That said, if OP wants kids, they don’t seem to be on a path to get there.
He is likely stuck in a depressed cycle that makes it hard to do any of those things
Probably. They are on 4chan afterall, and you don’t usually get that far down the rabbithole without being perennially online.
Dudes so focused on not leaving the character select screen, he didn’t realise he had passed it, he just never bothered levelling up.
Better way to look at it, he did a speed run through the game and completed it with 30% of the whole game done… The other one is doing all of the side quests and extras so he can get 100%
Sometimes it takes a while. Run your own race, not theirs. I didn’t figure out what I wanted to do till I was 30. Before then I was absolutely anon, living in a room with a mattress, a PC and a pile of empty vodka bottles i sold plasma to pay for. Now I’ve got a career, a family, a home.
Dont compare yourself to others. Everyone has their own course to follow and their own struggles to get through.
I started transition in my early 30s, before that my plan was to kill myself. Now I’m trying to live the life I want, to be who I want.
I feel the same. I don’t have everything I want in life but I heard somewhere, “Some are late bloomers, but everyone, blooms.”
Avoid the trap though. Things won’t just “happen” to make your life better. It takes actions and effort on your part to guide your life in the direction you want it to go.
I’m about to have my first child at 48. I wasn’t ready before now.
Pardon me asking (and feel free to ignore): Isn’t that scary to have a child so late in life? I’m worried about the impact my age will have on my relationship with my kids and I’m roughly a decade younger.
I just don’t see the point in worrying about it. I haven’t been scared since I found out and Idon’t think I will be now that’s it’s about 4 weeks away. I’ve been too busy buying and planning things and then I’ll be too busy changing nappies.
I’m just going to get on with it and not worry about it. The good news is that I’m already waking up in the middle of the night for a pee so I’m somewhat practiced at that.
200 years ago people also had kids quite late.
And we live so much longer than even 40 years ago. Life is so much better and safer now.
But the nuclear family is much younger, so today’s kids rely much more heavily and directly on their parents with respect to kids 200 years ago. The “village” build around multigenerational housing has disappeared, making the age of parents a much bigger factor than earlier on
200 years ago people were having kids at 15-16
And at 40 and 45, since there wasn’t birth control.
I was honestly surprised when I looked at a genealogy site, so many of my ancestresses got married at 28-30, I guess reading Little House on the Prairie when I was a kid made me think all those women of old times married young but nope, that did not seem to be the case.
I’m 29 and definitely nowhere near ready yet. This gives me hope
Essentially nothing here sounds like main character. This could be the most miserable mofo in the world. Grass is always greener…
Don’t waste your time on jealousy
Sometimes you’re ahead
Sometimes you’re behind
The race is long, and in the end
It’s only with yourself[…]
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life
The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives
Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’tEverybody’s Free (to wear sunscreen), Baz Luhrmann
The “Wear Sunscreen’ speech by Mary Schmich: “Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’97:
Wear Sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future, or worry, but know that worry is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind. The kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.”
-Mary Schmich
The race is long
and in the end is death. don’t race your life to “get ahead”. Take as much time as you desire.
Yeah bro, how you spend your days is how you spend your life.
Clean and decorate your home. Develop a sense of style. Go out and do things and meet people. Challenge yourself to do something interesting every week. Talk to people, get out of your shell.
Sincerely, the first of her childhood friend group to get married
On the other hand: I have the money and free time to afford and play any games that I want. Nothing dark about that.
On the other hand: I read about the lives of random terrorists, mass shooters, and I instsntly feel so much better about myself, at least I’m not that fucked up lol
I’m married with a newborn, to the envy of my friends, who are all either single or in casual relationships. At the same time, I’ve got a shit job with shit pay and no education beyond high school, while all my friends are either working good jobs in their field or working on their masters degree. I’d love more than anything to have a steady job with good pay, even if it was a boring job, but with no education I don’t think that can happen. I’m very jealous of my friends and wish I could have what they have, meanwhile they look at me and say the same.
All that is to say, no one has it perfect, even if you think they’ve got everything you want, I can guarantee they wish they had something different, possibly something you’ve got. Don’t be so hard on yourself, comparing yourself to others.
Grass is always greener and whatnot
My childhood friend of 20 years was much smarter than I am. He graduated with a college degree and landed a high-paying job, bought a house, got married, all that. He invited me to go on a European vacation that I simply could not afford, that’s when I realized I needed to walk away. It was clear he was heading in a direction I couldn’t follow. Life isn’t like it is in the movies.
I’ll be honest, if I was inviting a friend of a few decades to a vacation I would both check that he could afford it and if not just outright sponsor the whole thing.
