This is why I love Josh on Mythical Kitchen making shit with ingredients bought from 7-11. The beef jerky 7-11 “beef wellington” actually looked and sounded like it was delicious. 🤣
I want more like that, and less of the talk show-like stuff (Last Meal and now they’ve also made their Hotdog is a Sandwich podcast into videos).
At least they make food, these baking shows now everything is pretty much inedible, at what point is it food and at what point is it just arts and crafts?
Me with every recipe:
- search for “substitute for x”. x10. Weirdly, the only substitute I have is nearly always basil. I think search/AI is trolling me.
- search for ‘ratio of dried x to fresh x’. x10. I can get ratios of 1:2 to whatever you want. Then there are AI generated pages that tell you everything about life, the universe and everything, except the ratio of dried x to fresh x Normally have to wade through x10 of those…
Cook. Eat.
After: I rate this as meh. x10. And I’ll need to buy more dried basil. Big basil must be making a fortune!
…now emulsify the yack milk and the African camel ear bits using the kitchen air premium deluxe 3kw solar powered table top heavy duty roller mill. Be sure to only use the titanium cored rollers with proper Rhenium coated Molly gold platinum surface finish with the Wineth Palthro pronounced (gwyneth paltrow) titie and vagina print pattern.
Or from a recipe blog. 14 paragraphs about how to make real traditional Italian recipe, and the blogger is 1/8 Italian and went on a 1-week trip to Italy 7 years ago so only they know authentic Italian food.
And they ate at McDonald’s the entire time they were in Italy.
Sort of like all the woodworking shows where the workshop is bigger than the entirety of a two bedroom apartment with ~$150,000 worth of woodworking tools and machines and spare off-cuts of babinga wood and some now extinct variety of white oak litter the shelves.
I’ve been kicking around the idea of hosting a Youtube channel from my wood shop. Which is a 10x12 foot shed on the corner of my family’s land. I’ve built some decent furniture out of there.
I often see comments under woodworking videos, to include the New Yankee Workshop’s, that read “I could do that too If I had a giant building an $30,000 worth of tools” and I have two simultaneous thoughts:
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It’s a valid complaint; woodworking is a relatively expensive hobby to take up in both tools and materials, and by the time you feel you know enough to stand in front of a camera and talk you’ve probably amassed quite an arsenal, worsening that perception.
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I’ll just bet you couldn’t.
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DIY workshop, for projects you can do at home
The workshop…Adam Savage’s
Christ, that’s specific.
Not really. Over half the woodworking channels I watch never count the cost of materials that they already own when they total up the cost.
I’m kind of ok with them not counting the cost of tools, but the materials need to be counted, especially when they are doing something like “how to build a desk for under $50.”
Use what you got!.. You got a dull kitchen knife? Sure you can make a kitchen cabinet. Here’s how you do it…get the dried marine plywood from your walk-in wood dryer. Once you cut all the parts on the bandsaw and planed them on your walk-in planer, then simply feel for splinters. Any splinters can easily be dealt with using your dull kitchen knife. You can also use old used up sandpaper. Once you sprayed it, just put it in your UV curing room with automated venting. It will be ready for the installation crew by tomorrow.
Not as specific as it should be. They’re all insane with the tools and materials these days.
Let’s make a box for Amazon deliveries.
We’ll start by breaking down this $300/sheet plywood with my $1500 festool track saw setup plugged into my $1,000 festool vacuum.
Have you tried [insert meal delivery plan subscription]? Sign up for a 5 percent discount at the link below.
Now, before we actually start cutting, let’s measure and square everything up with this $150 Woodpeckers square and a $60 knife I use for some reason instead of a fucking pencil…
Woodworker here, the reason you use a marking knife rather than a pencil is because it is more precise, in two ways:
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A pencil line has width to it. Even a very fine mechanical pencil line. A marking knife has a single bevel, so the cut it leaves looks like |/ The vertical surface is the mark.
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If you need to transfer the mark around the board, say for tenoning, you make the first mark, then you turn the board, put the knife in the end of the cut, butt the square against the knife, and then cut. With a pencil you might stair step a bit. Then, when it’s time to cut, you can register a chisel against the mark, you can feel when you’re in place because it clicks in.
Note I’m talking about chisels here, because you use a marking knife when using hand tool techniques. It doesn’t help at all when using power tools like a track saw, so using a marking knife in a power tool workflow is a bit pretentious.
A marking knife does not need to be expensive, you can use an ordinary utility knife to get the job done, and a cheap single-bevel marking knife can be had for a few bucks. I bought mine from eBay for $9.62 American. Or you could buy this weeb shit for $2400.
Yes, a pencil almarknhas width. That’s why you choose a side of the line to cut. I’ve been woodworking for decades, and nobody ever needs more precision than a pencil because wood’s movement and change over time is enough to erase that extra precision.
Eh, if I’m doing something like chiseling the shoulders of tenons by hand, I like using a knife to mark that so that I don’t stair-step it around the board, plus it makes sure the line that will be visible in the finished product will be straight and not jagged. When marking out for using power tools, I use a pencil, typically a Pilot Sharpwriter. They’re cheap as borscht and the spring action they have reduces the amount of lead I break on wood.
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my $1,000 festool vacuum.
Ahem. Dust Extractor
That $60 knife is the last one you’ll ever need and it’s only available at our web shop, Link below.
(Actually just a rebranded Ali Baba drop ship)
More like a $600 Damascus steel knife made by another Youtuber that they were given for free, but otherwise this is spot-on.
It’s either Cam’s Damascus knife or Chris’s Brass Chunky pencil.
Things heating up in the woodworker fandom.
This is why learning substitutions is one of the greatest things you can do as a cook. Screw your bougie recipe I made it for a quarter the price with one pot.
I recommend procuring a PDF of “The Flavor Bible” great for learning substitutions and what flavors go with what.
Great. Now the dish turned out bad. Was it the substitutions? Was it the recipe itself? Did i mess up somewhere? Did i need to adjust things based on the subs? Guess well never know~
At this point why even follow a recipe
I use recipes more as guidelines or inspiration.
part of the skill of cooking is learning why a dish working. rather than tasting some and going “this tastes bad”, you should be thinking “what is not working here?” too much or too little salt? did you overcook the meat? do some of the flavors clash? a major skill in cooking is being able to identify why your meal didn’t turn out how you wanted it to, and then hopefully finding out how to fix or avoid that.
i think following the recipe to the letter can weaken that skill because you just kinda uncritically follow the steps in front of you
Exactly. Llama tears work as a substitute for alpaca in a pinch (just need to add a bit more salt).
I’m not prepared to make a llama cry.
Kevlar or due diligence may be needed when approaching llamas.
Fuck that. Tears from any hoofed mammal will do. Hell, I’ve used rabbit tears before and I could barely taste the difference.
Oh god, is Facebook still there?
They absorbed Whatsapp and Instagram and rebranded to Meta
Go back to sleep and pretend this is all a dream
Here’s the thing. Until I got married, I never kept food for very long in my fridge. I pretty much went out and bought exactly what I was going to cook to have enough meals for the week. I’d cook all that up on Saturday night and be good to go.
Are we sure we were watching a cooking show and not how to summon bougie demons?
