Na. It is impolite to stare. That’s not news. Doesn’t matter what the other person is or isn’t wearing. The one doing the behavior is responsible for their actions.
Well yea, I don’t think anyone is defending staring. They’re just pointing out the hypocrisy of the few who will do both the, “my eyes are up here” thing to glances and happily wear clothes that show off cleavage and/or curves.
While most individuals understand the mixed results of attraction, there are both hypocrites and some weird sometimes contradictory social norms that say it’s a problem.
No one is defending lechery. IMO it should be obvious that people should be allowed to be sexy whilst not implying any level of consent. To think otherwise is to not understand consent in the first place.
Although it should also be obvious that if you wear something out in public, you’re consenting to being viewed in what ever you’re wearing, too. Not that anyone should be staring or snapping pics, either. That’s impolite at best and probably some level of harassment too.
There are obvious boundaries both on what someone has to accept and what someone doesn’t have to accept.
I think it’s giving entirely too much credit to a commenter trying to justify being called out for staring.
Yeah, some people will overreact. That doesn’t mean you have to take it personally. I think the original commenter has skin that’s too thin and got hurt because someone told them they were doing something that made that person uncomfortable.
Just like people should understand that they’re going to be viewed by others in public, people should also understand that not everyone is going to react in the specific manner you want them to in all circumstances. If they got told off, as it were, get over it and move on. Don’t take it as a deep-seated societal problem they must rail against.
It’s not hypocrisy to act with emotion, it is however hypocrisy to criticize someone for acting emotionally when you defend your actions as emotional in nature.
In my opinion, if someone feels it’s impolite to stare, then to someone else it’s impolite to expose. It’s one of the most passive-agressive things to do, being angry at someone who stares when the exposure is intentional.
There’s a specific difference between staring and taking an admiring glance. The former is generally associated with objectification, the latter a shared appreciation. Knowing where that line is makes the difference.
A good chunk of the population is very challenged by such delicate social distinctions. Like upwards of a third. And even among the rest, everyone’s going to draw the line differently. These bright line rules you believe in don’t exist for most people.
Someone can have an attractive face, it’s still impolite to stare. You’re literally advocating that women wear burqas. Logically, if women don’t want to have their faces stared at by creepy men, they should have to cover their faces up.
Just because someone exposes a part of their body doesn’t give you permission to stare at it. It’s impolite to stare at someone’s face, at exposed tattoos, or exposed cleavage. Really it’s simply impolite to stare at anyone’s body.
Otherwise, I hope a really aggressive bear of a gay man joins your workplace and starts obsessively staring at you. If you don’t want him staring at your face obsessively all day, you can simply wear a mask.
It’s a free society: anyone can look at any direction consciously or unconsciously.
No one has a duty to make others comfortable about it.
You can both embrace the mutual discomfort of each other’s existence.
Or you can call it impolite as they heedlessly carry on untroubled by the nonsense of it all.
What a bunch of “umm aktually” pseudo-intellectual bullshit.
Since you seem allergic to understanding proper context, realize that we’re obviously talking about proper social etiquette and expected behavior. We’re not talking about legal sanction. That much is obvious from context.
And the idea that we don’t have certain duties in social settings is just absolute horseshit. Yes, we don’t have legal duties here. No one will arrest you for staring. But every person has duties of acceptable social behavior in polite settings. The force of law is not the only, or even the primary, way we have of enforcing social behavior.
You can whine all you want about some theoretical pseudo-intellectual take about how you’re not bound by any law to change your behavior. That still won’t keep you from getting fired for being a creep after you rudely stare at your coworkers’ bodies.
It’s a free society, but that matters for nothing in everyday life. You are largely free to take most actions, but you’re certainly not free from the personal and social consequences of being a perverted creep.
And plenty of people would be offended that you chose this imagery as offensive.
As a straight guy with gay friends, I considered myself finally accepting (or maybe desperate) when I could take the attention of a gay guy as a compliment and be kind about redirecting them
Agreed. There’s a big difference between looking at and staring at. You can look at or glance briefly as long as you aren’t being a creep, both sides do it. The problem is when people stare or act creepy.
I mean its simple biology. If the shirts are low cut or tight or whatever it draws the eyes. Whether thats the result that was intended or not. Only way to fix it is have everyone be asexual or desexualize a woman’s chest. That would require a societal change.
It’s a free society: people can all gaze in any direction for any reason or no reason.
It’s no big deal.
They can look, you can look, you can both share & savor the mutual discomfort of looking.
You can call it impolite, call them the devil, and they can just heedlessly carry on untroubled by the absurdity of it all.
They’re not even necessarily looking for the reason you imagine.
Their eyes may just blankly face a direction to avoid eye contact as their mind idly wanders.
I am calling bullshit here. This statement is true but the initial commentary is simply bullshit.
So just to be clear you police your friends doing that to men right? I get that shit a lot and they never seem to. Not ever (OK maybe a few but only the unattractive ones like being attractive gives someone an all access pass to being hyper sexual oggling asshats) Not at any public place basically where young women are.
Now im not a typically sexual person, I don’t stare (cause I don’t care about that shit) and I don’t like playing ‘The Game’. And yet. It is crazy persistent now like everywhere. Like you look too much for it to be polite at all. Then look away and talk with friends while side eyeing me. Im looking cause I trained myself to pay attention to the people paying attention to me. Im not smiling at them or ‘sending signals’ not anything just noticing people looking. And im not muting that (and turning my ‘saftey’ off) so they can do all the mating ritual bullshit with me cause they like my eyes or some shit.
Then they look extra. Then look away for a bit pretending they aren’t focused on that shit like some “im not that interested haha but you better not be ignoring me” bs. Then theyre looking fucking MORE and all under the pretense of “sending signals” just like the creep men that are (justifiably) getting flack for that same shit. (I understand the patriarchy and undertones of shit) and I don’t need to express rage or something else (not my job for one, nor is it my prerogative to exhaust my social battery or just having to experience shit emotions so they get there’s basic curtsey that they are ignoring, cause how tf are they gonna take it? Not the way they should I can promise that, and if you say something? They twist shit up to avoid embarrassment or strait up lie or apologize in a way that leaves me exhausted with the bullshit of it being needed to begin (benign or not). Just like asshole men have done forever and are now being condemned for in every media form i see but for some reason they get a pass even though they should know better then most) its something so pointless but to every fucking person that does it over and over and you get upset or irritated about it and they defend their pride by looking at you like you just became a sex offender or danger in their eyes cause “who doesnt want that kind of attention from me” looks/talkback cause you don’t like “The Game” is horseshit and it is the same shameless shit that toxic dudes tell themselves when they do it and is what this entire comic is based around and yet your defending the secondary sexual trait argument instead of seeking to see the nuances of what’s being said?
Fuck off with that shit. Youre barely even right here. Cause women can be just as cowardly and baselessly sexual “if you dont want me to stare don’t show it off” as anybody
In fact they are MORE so in many places now because of this kind of ritualistic excusing of/encouraging of the behavior by their peers without the checks of the anti-male-chauvinist movement (which as a whole I like)
Secondary characteristics. MY ASS is a secondary characteristic and yet your asses drool over it like you just accomplished something anywhere I fucking happen to be.
I don’t see you starring at them correctingly (and with a sense of kindred understanding of it being bad behavior) like we do with men doing that clearly unwanted bullshit, even tho they’re friends or coworkers or family or whatever. Cause I deserve it or smthg for old people being pervs in the past? Cause you dont want to see yourself in the same light as men? Fuck you for that thanks. Rant over. But the point stands.
Obviously not before, but then people go off then go about the day with my thoughts more organized and my position expressed and its better
Like literally every single other person around.
But hey I do hope you like it, your cowardly, passive aggressive, dismissive and (likely) infantilizing bullshit is exactly why this sort of commentary is necessary today. So get with the shame lady (or man i suppose 🤷)
Na. It is impolite to stare. That’s not news. Doesn’t matter what the other person is or isn’t wearing. The one doing the behavior is responsible for their actions.
Well yea, I don’t think anyone is defending staring. They’re just pointing out the hypocrisy of the few who will do both the, “my eyes are up here” thing to glances and happily wear clothes that show off cleavage and/or curves.
While most individuals understand the mixed results of attraction, there are both hypocrites and some weird sometimes contradictory social norms that say it’s a problem.
“They were dressed all sexy like” isn’t an adequate justification for acting like a lecher. And we shouldn’t normalize it being so.
No one is defending lechery. IMO it should be obvious that people should be allowed to be sexy whilst not implying any level of consent. To think otherwise is to not understand consent in the first place.
Although it should also be obvious that if you wear something out in public, you’re consenting to being viewed in what ever you’re wearing, too. Not that anyone should be staring or snapping pics, either. That’s impolite at best and probably some level of harassment too.
There are obvious boundaries both on what someone has to accept and what someone doesn’t have to accept.
I think it’s giving entirely too much credit to a commenter trying to justify being called out for staring.
Yeah, some people will overreact. That doesn’t mean you have to take it personally. I think the original commenter has skin that’s too thin and got hurt because someone told them they were doing something that made that person uncomfortable.
Just like people should understand that they’re going to be viewed by others in public, people should also understand that not everyone is going to react in the specific manner you want them to in all circumstances. If they got told off, as it were, get over it and move on. Don’t take it as a deep-seated societal problem they must rail against.
It’s not hypocrisy to act with emotion, it is however hypocrisy to criticize someone for acting emotionally when you defend your actions as emotional in nature.
In my opinion, if someone feels it’s impolite to stare, then to someone else it’s impolite to expose. It’s one of the most passive-agressive things to do, being angry at someone who stares when the exposure is intentional.
There’s a specific difference between staring and taking an admiring glance. The former is generally associated with objectification, the latter a shared appreciation. Knowing where that line is makes the difference.
This whole thread is terrifyingly neurotypical. Simply look them dead in the eyes for an entire conversation.
A good chunk of the population is very challenged by such delicate social distinctions. Like upwards of a third. And even among the rest, everyone’s going to draw the line differently. These bright line rules you believe in don’t exist for most people.
Someone can have an attractive face, it’s still impolite to stare. You’re literally advocating that women wear burqas. Logically, if women don’t want to have their faces stared at by creepy men, they should have to cover their faces up.
Just because someone exposes a part of their body doesn’t give you permission to stare at it. It’s impolite to stare at someone’s face, at exposed tattoos, or exposed cleavage. Really it’s simply impolite to stare at anyone’s body.
Otherwise, I hope a really aggressive bear of a gay man joins your workplace and starts obsessively staring at you. If you don’t want him staring at your face obsessively all day, you can simply wear a mask.
It’s a free society: anyone can look at any direction consciously or unconsciously. No one has a duty to make others comfortable about it. You can both embrace the mutual discomfort of each other’s existence. Or you can call it impolite as they heedlessly carry on untroubled by the nonsense of it all.
What a bunch of “umm aktually” pseudo-intellectual bullshit.
Since you seem allergic to understanding proper context, realize that we’re obviously talking about proper social etiquette and expected behavior. We’re not talking about legal sanction. That much is obvious from context.
And the idea that we don’t have certain duties in social settings is just absolute horseshit. Yes, we don’t have legal duties here. No one will arrest you for staring. But every person has duties of acceptable social behavior in polite settings. The force of law is not the only, or even the primary, way we have of enforcing social behavior.
You can whine all you want about some theoretical pseudo-intellectual take about how you’re not bound by any law to change your behavior. That still won’t keep you from getting fired for being a creep after you rudely stare at your coworkers’ bodies.
It’s a free society, but that matters for nothing in everyday life. You are largely free to take most actions, but you’re certainly not free from the personal and social consequences of being a perverted creep.
And plenty of people would be offended that you chose this imagery as offensive.
As a straight guy with gay friends, I considered myself finally accepting (or maybe desperate) when I could take the attention of a gay guy as a compliment and be kind about redirecting them
Agreed. There’s a big difference between looking at and staring at. You can look at or glance briefly as long as you aren’t being a creep, both sides do it. The problem is when people stare or act creepy.
I mean its simple biology. If the shirts are low cut or tight or whatever it draws the eyes. Whether thats the result that was intended or not. Only way to fix it is have everyone be asexual or desexualize a woman’s chest. That would require a societal change.
It’s a free society: people can all gaze in any direction for any reason or no reason. It’s no big deal.
They can look, you can look, you can both share & savor the mutual discomfort of looking. You can call it impolite, call them the devil, and they can just heedlessly carry on untroubled by the absurdity of it all.
They’re not even necessarily looking for the reason you imagine. Their eyes may just blankly face a direction to avoid eye contact as their mind idly wanders.
I am calling bullshit here. This statement is true but the initial commentary is simply bullshit.
So just to be clear you police your friends doing that to men right? I get that shit a lot and they never seem to. Not ever (OK maybe a few but only the unattractive ones like being attractive gives someone an all access pass to being hyper sexual oggling asshats) Not at any public place basically where young women are.
Now im not a typically sexual person, I don’t stare (cause I don’t care about that shit) and I don’t like playing ‘The Game’. And yet. It is crazy persistent now like everywhere. Like you look too much for it to be polite at all. Then look away and talk with friends while side eyeing me. Im looking cause I trained myself to pay attention to the people paying attention to me. Im not smiling at them or ‘sending signals’ not anything just noticing people looking. And im not muting that (and turning my ‘saftey’ off) so they can do all the mating ritual bullshit with me cause they like my eyes or some shit.
Then they look extra. Then look away for a bit pretending they aren’t focused on that shit like some “im not that interested haha but you better not be ignoring me” bs. Then theyre looking fucking MORE and all under the pretense of “sending signals” just like the creep men that are (justifiably) getting flack for that same shit. (I understand the patriarchy and undertones of shit) and I don’t need to express rage or something else (not my job for one, nor is it my prerogative to exhaust my social battery or just having to experience shit emotions so they get there’s basic curtsey that they are ignoring, cause how tf are they gonna take it? Not the way they should I can promise that, and if you say something? They twist shit up to avoid embarrassment or strait up lie or apologize in a way that leaves me exhausted with the bullshit of it being needed to begin (benign or not). Just like asshole men have done forever and are now being condemned for in every media form i see but for some reason they get a pass even though they should know better then most) its something so pointless but to every fucking person that does it over and over and you get upset or irritated about it and they defend their pride by looking at you like you just became a sex offender or danger in their eyes cause “who doesnt want that kind of attention from me” looks/talkback cause you don’t like “The Game” is horseshit and it is the same shameless shit that toxic dudes tell themselves when they do it and is what this entire comic is based around and yet your defending the secondary sexual trait argument instead of seeking to see the nuances of what’s being said?
Fuck off with that shit. Youre barely even right here. Cause women can be just as cowardly and baselessly sexual “if you dont want me to stare don’t show it off” as anybody
In fact they are MORE so in many places now because of this kind of ritualistic excusing of/encouraging of the behavior by their peers without the checks of the anti-male-chauvinist movement (which as a whole I like)
Secondary characteristics. MY ASS is a secondary characteristic and yet your asses drool over it like you just accomplished something anywhere I fucking happen to be.
I don’t see you starring at them correctingly (and with a sense of kindred understanding of it being bad behavior) like we do with men doing that clearly unwanted bullshit, even tho they’re friends or coworkers or family or whatever. Cause I deserve it or smthg for old people being pervs in the past? Cause you dont want to see yourself in the same light as men? Fuck you for that thanks. Rant over. But the point stands.
Are you okay?
Obviously not before, but then people go off then go about the day with my thoughts more organized and my position expressed and its better
Like literally every single other person around.
But hey I do hope you like it, your cowardly, passive aggressive, dismissive and (likely) infantilizing bullshit is exactly why this sort of commentary is necessary today. So get with the shame lady (or man i suppose 🤷)
Thanks for being a prime example 👍
So, no, not even a little. It’s okay, you can work your shit out screaming into the void in my direction - I’ve got thick skin.
(I’m kidding, your ass is about to be blocked. Have a nice life.)
Mhmm, tick tock on that clock, this bullshit has got a limited lifespan, no one cares about your circus but your clown ass and others like you
Good luck being not a dopey coward about it when your granddaughter is embarrassed of your fake ass life lady✌