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Ive been struggling for awhile to write a two sentence horror story with the premise of a child pulling all of their teeth for money, or maybe to help their family out of poverty.
almost everything “Magical” in our world is straight up derived from Paganism or other religious stuff
Just preparing kids for having to sell their organs for food money to keep billionaires alive.
As an adult now, I wish I had thought about it more when I was a kid. The Tooth Fairy doesn’t have an obvious source of income. Perhaps thats the reason for the paltry offerings. She does, however, seem to have an unusually effective logistical network and a lot of consumer good will. Had I been more perspicacious in my youth, I might have negotiated a contract with a lot more value than just a few dollars per tooth.
For starters, we could have partnered with businesses to distribute a tiny, promotional coupon book for a cut of the sales or even just a flat rate. Every kid gets coupons with their tooth money. That could’ve netted millions.
Also we could act as courier for high priority mail, provided it’s light enough and is going to one of the households with a collectable tooth on that night. Probably not much money there, but it’s something.
I don’t know what The Tooth Fairy’s legal risk tolerance is exactly, but I imagine it’s pretty high if she’s purchasing human tissue without a license. We could have scanned court records to find people with a predilection for restricted goods that are useful in tiny amounts. She just leaves a note with the first tooth and the parent(s) can leave money with the next tooth if would like a bump of whatever The Tooth Fairy is offering. I assume it would have to go to a different spot in the room from the tooth money so the child doesn’t get into it.
I’ve had a happy life, but this is one of my few regrets, that I didn’t better realize the potential of The Tooth Fairy. Que sera and c’est la vie and all that, I guess.
perspicacious
Having the power of seeing clearly; quick-sighted; sharp of sight.
“perspicace” in French, and strangely enough, much more commonly used in every day lingo than the English counterpart, no one would need explaining. One example would be friendly sarcastic banter when someone says something very obvious: “t’es perspicace toi hein?”.
Speaking english by saying random french words? It’s more common than you’d think
This is a fantastic post.
I want to add, that there’s a prevalent theory that the Tooth Fairy is the name of the organization and it’s mostly low level lackys doing the actual work. I’m guessing TF has a complete monopoly on the industry, but they’re clearly not paying their underlings that well if what they leave for teeth is so specific and varyingly low.
The market is ripe for disruption.
Thanks!
Tooth Fairy Union FTW!
🎵
Do you hear the fairies sing?
Singing the song of angry teeth?
It is the music of the fairies
Who will not be held beneath!
When you’re kid you should ask your friends how much they get per tooth and then you just give your teeth to the kid that gets the most and then you can split the profits
Parents of that kid paying for the 67th tooth: By God, what have we created?
Skulls for the skull throne, teeth for the tooth demon !
Ever read Hogfather? It is occult shit.
yeah I was gonna do it for my kids but my son was like "so a fucking strange fucking lady sneaks in to my room? at night while I sleep? and takes my teeth?“
i said OK shit jesus you make it sound so shitty.
and it is. but hey other kid loved it. so whatever.
That’s quite the potty mouth for a six year old.
When I was a kid, my parents had a tiny wooden jar with the inside precisely sized to fit quarters. They kept it on the mantel in a common area. When you lost a tooth you’d put it in there and there would be two quarters in the jar the next day. No one had to sneak in your room and it’s probably easier for the parent to execute.
My wife was really into it. She made me go into the room to preform the transaction. I didn’t like it. My 6 year old daughter asked me outright if I was the guy putting money under her head and I said yes. She said “I KNEW IT!” and promptly forgot/ignored it because she wanted money.
Yeah, at no point do I recall ever actually believing in the tooth fairy or Santa clause or whatnot, but I do remember playing along with it, not as like a “I like money/gifts” way, but more of a “this is a fun ritual” type of way
My mother told me Santa wasn’t real when I was fairly young, and then told me not to tell the other kids. I, being a little know-it-all, of course told the other kids and my mom got a few angry calls from other parents.
my mom has been our santa since i was 10, so believing santa is real was really never on the cards
“huh weird, mom went out to get the newspaper at 20:30 on christmas eve, then santa barges in looking suspiciously slim and feminine”
I recall having Christmas together with some cousins that’s 10+ younger than me, the oldest was like 6 at time and I was tasked to be Santa.
That little dipshit just looked me straight into the eyes, in full Santa outfit, and yells. That’s COUSIN in front of everyone.
Thanks mate, but maybe 2 year old lil sis would prefer if you don’t
should’ve accused your cousin of secretly being santa
Not a demon. A fey creature.
Which means that by inviting it into your home and giving it part of your child, you’re keeping it from abducting your child later. The coin is just a bonus.
The jaw bone’s connected to the CASH BONE!
If the toothdemons of old don’t get their teeth all but despair will be lost
(Teeth aren’t bone, they’re tissue. Doesn’t change the meme tho it’s A+)
eeeh they’re partly tissue. I definitely wouldn’t call enamel “tissue”, and dentin is borderline.
I’ll grant you dentin is a werid one, but it’s more tissue than not. Wouldn’t fight anyone too hard if they wanted to quibble about it, though.
Dentin (or dentine) is a calcified tissue of the body and, along with enamel, cementum, and pulp, is one of the four major components of teeth. (better citations exist but I am sleepy)
But enamel is calcified tissue. I don’t think there’s any lack of consensus about that classification.
