PizzaCake | Bluesky

TW: Sexual Assault

Transcript

7 Panel Comic

Panel 1: White text on blood red background “TW: Sexual Assault”

Panel 2: A guy holds down a semi-conscious naked girl. Her eyes are closed and tear stained. Her mouth in an expression of pain. Around her are more reaching hands.

Jane Doe: This hurts….there’s too many people here…

I can’t breathe…

Panel 3: Beside the girl lays an empty liquor bottle and an empty pill bottle. Hands press down on her head and chest.

Jane Doe: I’ve got the spins

What’s happening

Who’s touching me?

I don’t want to do this anymore

Panel 4: A group of naked men laugh as they enjoy themselves

Jane Doe: I’m scared…

… if I say stop…

…will they get mad?

I can’t talk anyway…

Panel 5: Blood runs between her thighs. Her legs are bruised.

Jane Doe: Ow! Stop grabbing me!

I think I’m bleeding…

…I want to go home…

Just….gonna….shut….down….

Panel 6: The girl wraps her arms around her legs and closes her eyes as she listens to the barrage of insults, vitriol and victim blaming after coming out with what was done to her.

You can’t cry ‘rape’ whenever you regret sleeping with someone!!

Bitch

Maybe don’t hang out with guys!

Your fault for getting drunk!

Whore

You said yes at first! You can’t take it back!

Why didn’t you push them off?!

Slut

She just wants money!

Stop trying to ruin their lives!!

Attention seeker

Panel 7: “Why are they mad at me?”

    • godsammitdam@lemmy.zip
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      2 hours ago

      I truly believe the world right now is going through an empathy crisis what with the rise of the far right. Humans evolved empathy to better survive and take care of each other. Our neoliberal capitalist world rewards narcissism, individuality, and exploitation. The literal opposite of empathy. It’s being un-learned, people are literally devolving because of profit and systemic abuse and violence perpetuated by those at the top.

      And you are perpetuating that. Downplaying the lived fucking reality of countless women is utterly disgusting. Real life is dramatic. Because it’s real. It’s horrible. It’s painful. It’s terrifying. But that is what this woman absolutely went through. And so many others have as well. And it stays with them their entire lives, constantly following them, the trauma coming back when the body and mind attempt to protect them from experiencing that trauma again.

      The state of education is so piss poor, and it’s on purpose such that we remain divided so that those on top can continue to escape accountability. Everyone should be educated dramatically about what went on here. Because this is not uncommon. There should be better education of what rape is and it shouldn’t be censored or hidden away, it should be given the weight it’s deserved. And drug use should be educated as well. The effects, ensuring it’s done safely, that there’s no such thing as consent when mind-altering substances are involved.

      I’m glad this case is getting people to talk. Because it’s really exposing how so many people lack empathy and can’t see themselves in the position of others. It’s getting people to talk about what consent and rape really is. But man is it tough to see so many people downplay the situation and even blame the victim for what happened, or even outright deny that anything happened at all.

      And to tie this little essay in a bow, it tends to be those who lack empathy. Which empathy correlates with higher intelligence which correlates with not being a conservative, fascist freak. It’s all connected in the end. And we’re living through an empathy crisis brought on by neoliberal capitalism and its focus on individuality that places the fault of all bad outcomes on the individual. That is the fight we find ourselves in today.

      Be radically empathetic.

        • Tiral@lemmy.world
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          1 hour ago

          You’re right, it’s not. But people on here don’t care, it’s always an extreme left opinion with absolutely no grey. Take your comments, you’re just asking a question, and it’s a valid non offensive question, it made people mad enough to down vote you (and me for pointing it out) because it’s a logical question that they aren’t able to answer because the extreme right and left don’t use any logical reasoning to come to an opinion. So they just down vote because it’s the only method they have to “show you” or whatever, because fake Internet points actually matter to them. Rather than giving you a logical answer to your question, because there is none that doesn’t sound absolutely moronic.

          • SmoothyShadow@lemmy.world
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            4 minutes ago

            Sorry, I don’t understand what you mean here… For me, it seems like comment you replied to is not looking for any answers, it’s self-contained criticism (otherwise, I guess a more appropriate way would be asking a question).

            I believe the reason why most people only downvote the comment and don’t actually reply to it is because they don’t want to take the risk of wasting time debating with someone who, regardless, will probably stay on their point of view…

            Now, another thing I don’t quite get is, what’s the criticism exactly? “Facts”? What does that mean? (it’s a real question, I might be dumb by not understanding, but I’d still like to try) The comics says everything there is to say to understand it, or so it seems to me?

  • Stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    1 hour ago

    PizzaCake posting this comic is pretty fucking wild when, a year ago, she created two comics of her straight up raping someone who was criticizing her…

    Edit: It’s a reddit link, but see for yourself. If you don’t want to click it (understandable)

    Ok so for all those asking for context (sadly can’t send the comic, it’s paid so that’d be copyright offense) -

    The comic somehow got my way. It explicitly shows her, having a sex with a man who has no control of the situation, asking him if he still hates her now (after the sex he has no say in). He says no, mentions it’s been several hours since this started, and also asks to ejaculate. She replies that she will let him do so tomorrow, and he is horrified.

    The panels themselves don’t seem violent, and actually resemble fairly innocent sex involving some bondage. The man is not her husband, nor a character I can recognize. The assumption it’s one of the commenters might be about the “hate me” comment.

    The implication of the text, however, is clearly “now that I forced myself upon you, you love me?” “yes, now that you’ve raped me I do. Let me cum and go” “nah fam, you’re stuck here for at least another day. you don’t get bodily autonomy”

    It seems to be purposely designed to be forgivable if you don’t think about it. It’s short, shows more skin than text, and the text can be dismissed if the reader doesn’t think about the fact they’ve been having sex for hours where they weren’t friends and the weak party hated the aggressor for these hours.

    Edit: turns out there’s a continuation comic, with MC holding Guy’s member, he has ejaculated and his groin and her hand are soiled. She asks “oh dear… did I ruin your orgasm?” with a seemingly unconcerned or uninterested face. The caption also reads “poor guy (not really, he deserved it)”. So, a bit more of the same warning signs that aren’t full-blown offenses but might indicate them. Though “he deserved it” is not exactly helping.

        • Stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          2 hours ago

          So, just full on what was described. Remarkable.

          That response from her is… nonsense.

          The comic had came with additional comments and context on my Patreon page

          Then why didn’t she share that? The whole response from her is “This is a ridiculous claim to make against me. There exists proof. I will not share it. I’m getting dox’d and people are giving me death threats.”

          Another comment explains why.

          once I saw it was getting leaked and purposely taken out of context, I decided to delete it because I didnt want to give them ammo, which then of course made me look like I was “hiding something” lol you cant really win.

          Which makes very little sense. The thing is already out there, you know everyone has seen it, so you delete it and all the context proving its innocence to prevent them from getting ammo? And still after explaining that, she doesn’t explain the context that would make it better.

          Her whole explanation is just “I’m getting backlash and feel terrible for it, trust me that there was a context that made it better but I’m not going to tell you.”

      • Stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        5 hours ago

        Warning: Reddit link. No one really does. She posted it on her Patreon and has been going after anyone who shared it because you needed to pay to see it. You could probably find it, I haven’t. But the whole thread is littered with descriptions of it and PizzaCakes own explanation left a fucking lot to be desired.

  • Peacepath@lemmy.world
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    10 hours ago

    Christians must condamn rapists toward their god, but support and defend them toward society. For them accusing someone of having comit a rape is wrong and bad:

    Matthew 18:6–7

    6 But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.
    7 Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!
    

    Luke 17:1–2

    1 Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come!
    2 It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones. 
    

    For christians, the one victim of rape have the duty to shut up, and let society live in peace without knowing about it. And them denying the victime’s claim is the consequence of their faith.

    Of course, christian faith isn’t the only cause, but in western society, we won’t get progress against rape without get rid of this poison.

  • pastermil@sh.itjust.works
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    13 hours ago

    Nothing against the message itself. Just how it’s being presented itself. The author put a TW upfront, followed by multitude of well-drawn panels, only to censor the important words at the end? It’s like a boxer preparing their stance and their whole weight on their fist to launch a punch only to hold back right before it lands.

    • yyyesss?@lemmy.world
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      10 hours ago

      if the artists intent had been lost on some of the audience, i could see this argument. like if they’d used some of the internet acronyms that made it so some readers couldn’t tell what they were trying to say, then some meaning would have been lost.

      but as this is, there is no question what those words are supposed to be. i had no trouble understanding the message and feeling the weight of it.

      i understand your frustration but i feel like you’re diminishing or dismissing the impact that’s clearly still intact based on a distaste for something the clankers have forced many artists into to prevent being censored.

    • solarvector@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      9 hours ago

      Normally I might agree with you, but I think this is a good example of talking about the problem being viewed more harshly than the problem itself. I don’t know if that was part of the “artistic vision” but think it’s fairly appropriate to the topic.

  • multifariace@lemmy.world
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    17 hours ago

    I saw only panel 1 (just the title in a box). I thought it was brilliant. Like, the first comment would be “that’s not funny.” and response would be “you are correct.” then i realized there were more panels. either way it works.

    • cannedtuna@lemmy.worldOPM
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      17 hours ago

      Sorry. Typically I post the 4 panel versions when artists do the combined uploads, but this one didn’t have that and I usually try to respect the medium and titles the artists give to their work. I thought about giving this one a couple different titles but ultimately settled on leaving the authors comment as is. As the content would be upsetting for many readers I decided to bury the main content in a spoiler warning to avoid a NSFW tag and respect the original post.

  • erin@piefed.blahaj.zone
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    1 day ago

    Some of the things I’ve seen people saying about Jane Doe are truly vile. The mental gymnastics people will go through in order to victim blame are disgusting. I especially cannot stand it when I see other women putting down survivors. I hope Jane Doe gets justice and the coverup has consequences.

  • dohpaz42@lemmy.worldM
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    1 day ago

    I am going to preemptively say that if you decide to comment and say anything remotely victim-blaming or stir up any drama against the artist or fellow community members, your comments will be removed, up to and including being banned.

    Please consider using the spoiler markdown if you feel the need to go into detail.

    :::spoiler Some title suggesting Trigger Warning (TW)
    <your experience>
    :::
    

    We are all adults here, and can objectively (AND RESPECTFULLY) have difficult conversations when needed. Not everyone has the same experiences, nor the same reactions, and their traumas are very real regardless of what you may see or know about them.

    • Kangae_Hishiryo@scribe.disroot.org
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      1 day ago

      I don’t think that’s a good way to proceed.

      You might be blaming victims of false allegations of rape with that, and trust me, I know well how it feels to be raped and to be a victim of false allegations, and both are equally horrible and damaging for anyone who has to live with them.

      • dohpaz42@lemmy.worldM
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        1 day ago

        Please elaborate on what I said that falls under victim blaming?

        Edit: I want to make sure I’m clear: I am genuinely interested in what you have to say and I will listen.

        • Kangae_Hishiryo@scribe.disroot.org
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          24 hours ago

          Well.

          That’s because most victims of false allegations have it nearly impossible to even report it. Let alone proving it, that’s even harder.

          Now, most of persons (mostly women, because it’s other story for men, we’re considered the de facto criminals unless proven otherwise) that do false allegations, use these tactics: they give consent and after the act they revoke it and cry “rape”, because they know they’ll be automatically believed by most people. That’s in part because of the “Women-are-wonderful” effect. And most of them do that because of two principal reasons: vengeance or free money (remember that there are programs to help people that suffer abuse, and they then abuse of them making false claims).

          Now, take into account that most people takes these things (like telling them not to destroy other people’s live, or that they just want free money or attention, or that they can’t regret afterwards and claim rape as if it were nothing) like rape-denialism and victim-blaming, and trust me, I know that’s in part justified, I’m well aware of DARVO strategies that actual sexual abusers can make and that a lot of victims aren’t heard because of that… But people who do false claims also use DARVO strategies, they’re abusers too although of another type, not sexual, and not every time that someone claims to be abused it’s true that they were abused.

          It’s a hard situation without a clear solution, but this is won’t help it to be better.

          • diablicja@lemmy.zip
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            14 hours ago

            Imho false allegations should be punished the same as rape (only in cases when it can be proven without a shade of doubt that it was false and intentional). Not only because it ruins the life of the accused, but because it makes all cases of rape harder to prosecute. We should completely eliminate “she’s making it up” from the equation.

      • dohpaz42@lemmy.worldM
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        1 day ago

        People are free to express their opinion using downvoting. However, if anyone feels there may be vote manipulation, then by all means ask and we can look into it.

  • ruuster13@lemmy.zip
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    1 day ago

    I downloaded a photo of the Cornell 7 last night and Google Photos immediately removed it. It’s still sitting in a folder but won’t show up in Google Photos. I’m curious if anyone can reproduce this. The lengths they go to censor survivors and protect perpetrators is unacceptable.

    • mynona@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      My screenshots get listed by Photos but not Downloads. I downloaded the Sun’s group shot and screenshotted it with expected results, unable to reproduce (old S21 defaults, no Google backups).

    • mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works
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      22 hours ago

      JFC, this is the first I’ve heard of this story. Shit like this is why all frats need banned from every university. They’re all shit

    • Carl@anarchist.nexus
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      1 day ago

      Is Pizza Cake a controversial artist? Genuine question, because I personally haven’t seen any strips that would make me dislike her. But I also only see the ones that get upvoted on Lemmy.

      I guess there will be some chuds who dislike comics like this one, which clearly advocate for something. But that’s pretty standard chud behavior, not limited to any one specific artist.

      • garbagebagel@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        She got accused of misandry for a particular comic and then a lot of misogynists jumped on board. I don’t think she’s like the funniest ever, but definitely doesn’t deserve as much hate as she gets IMO. Lemmy is better about her than reddit for sure.

        • CrimeIsLegalNow@ani.social
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          23 hours ago

          Better, sure. Free of the idiots who think they shouldn’t ever see a popular comic they don’t like in their feed, no.

      • Serinus@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        It’s milquetoast pandering to help sell explicit stuff. No reason to hate, but I’m not a huge fan either.

        There are worse things in the world than being a little bland.

        • Carl@anarchist.nexus
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          1 day ago

          Does the artist do porn commissions or something? I haven’t seen any comics from them that were more explicit than every other webcomic ever made.

          • Zos_Kia@jlai.lu
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            1 day ago

            I recently realized she has an only fans, not for porn comics but for regular porn featuring herself. It’s as milquetoast as her comics I guess.

              • Zos_Kia@jlai.lu
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                11 hours ago

                If school teachers have to resort to onlyfans for income

                Well that’s sad. Why can’t a professional just live from their profession ?

                why not comic creators

                To be perfectly clear i’m not blaming pizzacake for this situation. I understand that, as a person who can command a significant amount of traffic, and as a woman, this is probably the best monetized use of her time. It’s still weird and kind of depressing to me. What if you are a great comics artist but you happen to care about your intimacy and not want to share it ? Guess you’re fucked. As a woman you don’t get to just do your job and get compensated for it, you also have to show le titties.

                • godsammitdam@lemmy.zip
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                  1 hour ago

                  Well that’s sad. Why can’t a professional just live from their profession ?

                  Literally capitalism. So the wealthy can exploit and take more from us while not being held accountable.

                  And it shouldn’t be lost on us that those who are often at the top and avoid accountability are most often men, white, and conservative. Go figure.

                  It’s still weird and kind of depressing to me. What if you are a great comics artist but you happen to care about your intimacy and not want to share it ? Guess you’re fucked. As a woman you don’t get to just do your job and get compensated for it, you also have to show le titties.

                  Yes, it is depressing. But also strength at the same time to continue to make these comics that challenge people’s world view. Art shouldn’t be comfortable, it should say something. But those in power don’t like being uncomfortable. Nor do reactionary conservatives. It’s icky to confront feelings and the fact that they might be bad people. So, instead, attack and victim blame. Darvo, avoid accountability at all costs as it would result in personal loss otherwise. And that’s how we get back to neoliberal capitalism. Lack of empathy, exploitation, refusing accountability. All taught and rewarded by society as it results in better profits.

                  Meanwhile, those with principles and/or those not on top must do what they can to survive. A noble goal like teaching? Defunded, an educated proletariat is something to fear. So, yes, just as someone forced into starvation makes a choice to steal to survive, a woman forced into a situation such as predatory debt in a capitalist society may make the decision to do something like onlyfans. Not because she wants to, just like the thief, but because it’s survival. We linked our human survival to capital, why should any of us be surprised when we make choices to survive?

                  That’s the depressing part. Society is built that way, built on exploitation, built to extract and pushes many of us to the brink. Better that then allowing us the time to better ourselves, better our health, better our education. Because then we would have better access to the time and tools necessary to disrupt those at the top and finally hold them accountable for the violence they commit on us everyday.

              • churrodestroyer@lemmy.zip
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                1 day ago

                Preaching to the choir. Let me know when an admin cares about vote manipulation. The 3 I’ve messaged don’t respond.

                My message to demigodrick

                • cannedtuna@lemmy.worldOPM
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                  17 hours ago

                  Just saying, if it happens in this comm, let me know. Prior to becoming a mod here, I’ve seen it happen in this com, and I’ve seen it happen in other coms I don’t mod. Absolutely report that kind of thing. Just remember that people got personal lives going on just like you, so reports aren’t always seen in a timely manner. Some issues, people like myself like to research and verify before taking action when it’s not 100% clear. But yeah while votes mean nothing here in Lemmy I do prefer to stomp out vote manipulation alt accounts when possible.

                • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
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                  20 hours ago

                  I’ve been visited by the downvote fairies too.

                  honestly I think the only thing that will make them stop is if they piss off the wrong user and get doxxed.

  • A_norny_mousse@piefed.social
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    1 day ago

    Victim blaming. I have seen it happening.

    SA warning

    It was “but they were both on drugs” and “but they were in a relationship”.
    Often from women.

    Then there’s the cherrypicking; one allegation was rape, the other that the guy was grooming her because he was much older than her. People got hung up on the age difference as something that shouldn’t be an issue, and ignored the much bigger issue: “what, now I can’t try to pick up young women anymore? You’re creating an athmosphere of fear and prosecution!” - No dipshit, you just can’t rape them.
    The same applies to the person who stands with the victim (that was me): “but I’ve seen you flirting with younger women too! Don’t be so sanctimonious!”

    Frankly, just trying to support her was a horrible experience. Can’t imagine how it must have felt for her. So brave to come forward.
    But I wouldn’t miss this experience for the world.
    I hope you’re doing OK.

    • erin@piefed.blahaj.zone
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      1 day ago

      Even years later, when I tell my story I get victim blaming comments, even from people I otherwise trusted. I no longer bring it up outside of with other women I feel safe with.

      CW: SA

      “You can’t just take back your consent.”

      I didn’t. I said stop, they didn’t, because finishing was more important than my comfort. Consent can be retracted at any time. Stop means stop, and no means no.

      “Did you even defend yourself?”

      He was bigger, stronger, and had already ignored my “stop” and my “no.” I was scared and I shut down.

      The person who assaulted me never faced any consequences. I still freeze up during intimacy. I hope Jane Doe gets justice and closure.

      • A_norny_mousse@piefed.social
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        13 hours ago

        Thanks for sharing.

        Re your first quote:

        I wish (these) men would talk about their sexuality a bit more openly. The need for relief. The still widespread tabooing of masturbation, esp. when a woman is present. I believe it would help them understand that what they’re doing is wrong - while relief is still possible.

      • SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social
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        1 day ago

        If I go out to eat, I can take back my consent at any time. I don’t see a difference here.

        “This [food] sucks, I’m out.”

        Shit that this happened to you. I hope you’re better.

        • velma@sh.itjust.works
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          10 hours ago

          The issue with the Cornell case is that anything she said no to was respected (at least from the documents I have seen)

          Why did she keep having to say ‘no’ over and over again then?

            • velma@sh.itjust.works
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              7 hours ago

              It’s clear you have a fuzzy understanding of consent, I don’t need lessons from someone who wouldn’t stop sex when a partner says they want to stop.

              • freely1333@reddthat.com
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                7 hours ago

                Taking words out of context to feign moral outrage when you don’t have any logical paths left 🥱

                • velma@sh.itjust.works
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                  7 hours ago

                  Good thing nothing is really hidden on Lemmy and everyone can see your comment that prioritizes a man’s orgasm over his partner wanting sex to stop.

        • velma@sh.itjust.works
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          10 hours ago

          If you had said “no stop I’m not feeling it” and he said “ugh I’m close can I finish?” and you said “okay finish quick” then your consent would have been back being given.

          This is coercion. You don’t get to push back on someone saying “stop”. That’s fucked up.

        • velma@sh.itjust.works
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          10 hours ago

          If you had said “no stop I’m not feeling it” and he said “ugh I’m close can I finish?”

          I can’t stop re-reading this, jesus fucking christ.

          A woman says “No stop” and you don’t immediately fucking stop? What the fuck?

          What the fuck?

        • Nath@aussie.zone
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          15 hours ago

          Wait. You genuinely believe there are women somewhere who would consent to a conga line of unknown guys just having their way with them while passed out?

          That is absolutely not a thing.

          • freely1333@reddthat.com
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            14 hours ago

            She wasn’t passed out? They were all doing ketamine off each other? She was standing around the room showing off her muscles? Do I believe there are women who consent to group sex? Absolutely.

            At least some people here will stand on the facts and still say it was rape for whatever reason but when you have to make things up it kind of shows that you don’t have much faith in what you’re arguing for.

  • BillyClark@piefed.social
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    1 day ago

    In the situation portrayed, the guys committing the SA know that they’re doing something evil. The victim knows what happened.

    I’m not sure why anybody with zero knowledge needs to butt in and attack. How hard is it to keep quiet or supportive?

    • cannedtuna@lemmy.worldOPM
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      24 hours ago

      So, I’ve read your comment in full and I’ve thought about how to respond to this.

      This comic, while it does reference a current event with the Cornell 7, also portrays the type of thoughtless and harmful comments victims of rape are forced to endure.

      I think you probably already knew your remarks are in line with the type portrayed in the final panel given you felt the need to add a massive text disclaimer and noted yourself that your remarks would “sound unpopular”.

      1. You’re trying to justify the type of remarks in the final panel rape victims often end up hearing. Those type of remarks are not “reasonable”.

      You start off with “rape, sexual abuse, and other improper sexual behavior … it’s a serious problem we need to address” and then follow it up immediately with a “but”. There is no “but” here. A woman was gang raped for 7 hours and nothing happened to the perpetrators and this type of thing is all too common for women who live through this kind of thing and then are told to “get over it”.

      1. You’re downplaying the women who aren’t believed or never see justice.

      I understand you went through a similar situation, as did your mother, and that is absolutely terrible. I’m sorry to hear that to both of you and it’s awful that your abuser was never held accountable.

      Like I said, I spent a while thinking about how to address your remarks, and it’s specifically because you shared your experience, but I have a feeling that was the intent here and I feel like you’re using your own trauma as a shield for your other remarks.

      You bring up an instance on Discord where someone felt uncomfortable from your interactions and then later talked about it in a vent channel. I don’t know the situation, but I do question your use of terms like “simps”.

      “I barely managed to be found innocent, but she wasn’t held accountable either,” Dude their Discord mods, what do you want? Take those things to court, not social media mods.

      “In the end, she was a woman and I was just a man. Women-are-wonderful effect in action.” And yet if the world worked like that maybe more women would get justice for the crime committed against them.

      “And that happens a lot, and even if the statistics are low” this just personal experience bias.

      1. Your main argument is just whataboutism. Example: a black man is shot and killed by a cop, people riot. So cops cry “well what about all the cop deaths”. This isn’t about false allegations. This is about a very real rape that happened and something that many women have to deal with.

      Your closing remarks are:

      “Yeah, you can’t take it back and cry rape everytime you regret having sex with anyone, because you can be the one doing false allegations too.”

      “Yeah, sometimes someone can tell that has been raped because that’s an easy way to destroy someone’s life and earn free money from the victims’ help programs, stealing resources from actual victims.”

      And you end it with “Support both kinds of victims”

      Basically you refute the situation shown here and end it with a “All Lives Matter” type of statement.

      So yes, I will be removing your comment as it does not belong here. This is about rape and what victims go through and is not the place for your remarks.

    • jpreston1986@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Coming in with the “both sides are actually bad” when talking about the ungodly massive amount of rape that occurs and the teeny tiny small percentage of false accusations that happen is a truly adolescent, apologist, and downright horrible take.

      “Won’t somebody please think of the rape gangs feelings!?”

      • Kangae_Hishiryo@scribe.disroot.org
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        1 day ago

        Because they’re both equally bad. Even if there are less false accusations than actual rapes (again, I have sufficient reasons to think that they’re not a so small amount, and I have fucking told a small amount of these, some of the most important ones), they’re still a serious problem. There should be zero false allegations just as there should be zero rapes. Is that fucking simple.

        You don’t know how much can ruin a life a false allegation? And even if it doesn’t ruin your life, as happened to me out of good luck, it’s still as traumatic as a rape. It’s a mental rape. They’re raping your ability to live in the world without being paranoid about any people or situation.

        Again:

        I.

        HAVE.

        FUCKING

        SUFFERED.

        FROM.

        BOTH.

        I.

        FUCKING.

        KNOW.

        WHAT.

        I’M.

        FUCKING.

        TALKING.

        ABOUT.

        And where the fuck did I said that I’m against victims of rape or in favor of gang rapers? Give the fucking cite, don’t just put words in my mouth.

    • atrielienz@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      “You can’t take it back” refers to rescinding consent during the act, not after the act. You can agree to something and then back out. That is what consent is all about.

      Nobody is saying that false reporters don’t exist, nor are they saying that people who will claim rape after the fact (who agreed to the act but have second thoughts after the act is over) don’t exist, nor are they saying they don’t support the victims of false reporters.

      That is not the subject of this comic and is not what is being talked about here.

      The absolute best thing to do for all parties involved is to get verbal consent from both parties and to keep seeking that consent throughout the act, and to do such while both parties are sober and know what is going on.

      If you want to protect yourself from false allegations, that’s my advice. If you want to protect yourself from sexual assault and rape, it’s more complicated and there are a lot more things you can do and variables to worry about, but that doesn’t mean this advice isn’t good for that too.

      • Kangae_Hishiryo@scribe.disroot.org
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        Well, I assumed that after referred after the act. If is during the act then you can and SHOULD take it back, but then using “after” in the same sense as “during”, that’s a dishonest use of the language. It probably wasn’t something deliberate, but that doesn’t make that less misleading nevertheless.

        Thanks for the advice anyways. And yeah, I just thought better about this and you’re correct, it’s not the topic; anyways, I felt the need of express that because these kind of posts can lead to very damaging and misleading statements about that topic, and being someone who suffered from both, I know in first person how they are and that looks unacceptable to me in every way, both types of denialism are the worst things ever.

        That’s why I hate drugs, alcohol and the like. Nobody can consent under the effects of these substances. Hope they get totally banned sooner than later because they’re a huge cause of these kind of problems.

        • Harvey656@lemmy.worldM
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          22 hours ago

          I have been drunk, many, many times. Yet I have never raped any women, even the ones I have been attracted to.

          Substances are not a free pass for rape, never have been never will be. To insinuate substances have any influence on weather or not a person will rape is insane, and unacceptable apology.

          Bad men did this, not drugs.

          • Kangae_Hishiryo@scribe.disroot.org
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            7 hours ago

            I never said that… What I said is that alcohol amplifies the power of those offenders, and also makes people more prone to abuse others because of they’re dishinibited.

            It’s not that complex to understand.

            If we ban alcohol one of the side effects will effectively be a drop, even if small, in rape rates, because there will be one less tool for that.

            Love how everyone here is putting words in my mouth.

            • Harvey656@lemmy.worldM
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              3 hours ago

              Hope they get totally banned sooner than later because they’re a huge cause of these kind of problems.

              ‘Cause’ is they key word here. That explicitly states it as the reason.

              And stop calling for the removal of freedoms of the innocent, for the crimes of the guilty.

        • FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world
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          23 hours ago

          The cause of these kinds of problems is men raping women

          Not drugs or alcohol, but the rapists

          It’s that simple

          What you’re doing here is, once again, putting the onus on anyone or anything other than the rapists.

    • AWistfulNihilist@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      This is rape apology that ignores that cases of false accusation are such a small fraction of overall reports of rape that if you actually think critically, which you are saying to do, you will assume every woman who reports a rape is telling the truth.

      Rape is not a case by case basis, rape is overwhelmingly undereported and again, the overwhelming majority of those accusations are real. The rate of “false” reports isn’t even as black and white as you think, if you look at a study, see what those study considers “false”.

      • Kangae_Hishiryo@scribe.disroot.org
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        This is not rape apology, what the fuck. I support actual victims of rape as I myself have suffered a lot because of being raped, I just don’t support those who abuse of the helps that actual victims need because I’ve been victim of false allegations too. It’s not that hard to understand.

        And no, assuming that every woman who claims to be raped is telling the truth is not critical thinking, it’s just excessive credulity.

        And I have sufficient reasons to think that case of false accusation are not that rare, but even if they were (that they’re not), that doesn’t make them a less serious problem.

        Most of studies present men and women different questionaires, or make focus on different things in one gender or another, they’re gender segregated: i.e., in self-report questionaires, men almost everytime receive abuser questionaires and women receive victim questionaires, while the correct thing to do is to make neutral questionaires or give both genders both types of questionaires. If you ask me, that’s a very clear poisoning of the well, they’re adjusting the answers before they can be done, alterkng what answers are available.

        Also, men are more found to underreport sexual abuse, and there is a huge underreporting of false claims because even polices and lawyers tell victims of these (male victims of sexual abuse, and in general victims of false claims) to be a loss of time to try to report them. I know why they say so, because I lived that. Two fucking times.

        • AWistfulNihilist@lemmy.world
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          24 hours ago

          False reports are ridiculously and incredibly rare, even in the most generous study to rape apologetics, the vast majority of rape are perpetrated my men against women, Again I’m just thinking critically like you said to.

          The overwhelming victims of rape are women, the overwhelming number of reports are true, to the point where you do less damage assuming they are. That’s not to say you ignore a man’s claims of rape at all, you take those seriously to, men are also reluctant to report rape for many of the same reasons women are. I’m old enough to have been around when they had to pass a special law to bypass the statue of limitations so men could report their rape by catholic clergy.

          Equivocating reports of rape to false reports is just wrong. I’m sorry for what happened to you, but I’m not going to allow what seems like a horrible situation you’ve been through to color my perception of what you are doing. Which is rape apologetics. You aren’t asking us to critically think, you are asking us to respond emotionally to your emotional plea.