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slaacaa@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 17 hours ago

Web shooter

lemmy.world

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Web shooter

lemmy.world

slaacaa@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 17 hours ago
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  • Mirror Giraffe@piefed.social
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    2 hours ago

    Did he recently get a kid? Because on your shoulder/chest is where all the puke and snot goes.

    • Etterra@discuss.online
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      1 hour ago

      Maybe he got a parrot, since that’s where the poop goes too.

  • Agent641@lemmy.world
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    2 hours ago

    I thought I was his cum rag 😢

  • ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net
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    4 hours ago

    I think it looks cool. You do you, mister!

  • Jackcooper@lemmy.world
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    8 hours ago

    Good title tho

  • stylo@lemmy.world
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    13 hours ago

    No guarantee this is the right answer, but it is common for celebrities to wear just shitty dirty looking clothes to ruin paparazzi photos. Since they look dirty, they sell for less and then there’s less demand.

    • FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world
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      10 hours ago

      Same as wearing the exact same boring outfit every day so every photo looks like any other Wednesday

      • teegus@sh.itjust.works
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        2 hours ago

        I do that and I’m not even a celebrity

      • PattyMcB@lemmy.world
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        7 hours ago

        Don’t panic

    • CalypsoGirl@lemmy.today
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      9 hours ago

      Which would be odd behavior for celebrities who notify the paparazzi in advance of where & when they’ll be someplace.

  • Diddlydee@feddit.uk
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    16 hours ago

    I never understood the idea of a wank sock or a cum rag. What’s wrong with toilet paper? Why are you keeping your old cum, you dirty fuckers?

    • QuantumStorm@lemmy.world
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      42 minutes ago

      Or if you still have a foreskin, you trap it, walk to the bathroom, and then deposit it in the toilet.

      • blueduck@piefed.social
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        9 hours ago

    • SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.social
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      10 hours ago

      Using sandpaper to jerk off is fabulous.

      • MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world
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        4 hours ago

        Meat crayon now has another meaning…

      • PattyMcB@lemmy.world
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        7 hours ago

        The “road rash” is sublime

    • quantumcrop@lemmy.today
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      11 hours ago

      I mean there’s no law saying you have to use the same sock every night. Please wash your socks people, even if you aren’t jacking it into them. Wear once, wash once, that’s how socks and underwear should work. It also greatly mitigates the consequences of cumming in either.

      • Aneb@lemmy.world
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        8 hours ago

        This sounds fake and gay. Real men wear their cum with pride, pulling crusty socks up to ankles and knees.

    • Midnight Wolf@lemmy.world
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      16 hours ago

      This one hasn’t heard of the cum box

      • blackberry28@sh.itjust.works
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        3 hours ago

        Or the cum drawer

      • Hubi@feddit.org
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        16 hours ago

        Or the jar…

        • TaTTe@lemmy.world
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          13 hours ago

          What about the coconut?

          • Varesti@lemmy.zip
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            8 hours ago

            Or the pumpkin! 🎃

          • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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            11 hours ago

            Cumconut?

            • a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world
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              8 hours ago

              Cumquatcunut.

      • W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        13 hours ago

        Oh god no.

        • renrenPDX@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          11 hours ago

          There was also a coconut…

          • W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            10 hours ago

            Don’t start up with your coconut shit again.

        • Midnight Wolf@lemmy.world
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          12 hours ago

          I was there. I was there three-thousand years ago.

    • OberonSwanson@sh.itjust.works
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      15 hours ago

      I can’t speak for all guys, but I can easily fire through toilet paper and Kleenex.

      • PattyMcB@lemmy.world
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        6 hours ago

        Show-off

        • OberonSwanson@sh.itjust.works
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          6 hours ago

          So far I haven’t heard of a single useful application for the ability. Despite my best efforts, I discovered that I’m not capable of successfully shooting to swing from building to building.

      • Diddlydee@feddit.uk
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        13 hours ago

        Have you heard of folding, Mr Bullet Spunk?

        • OberonSwanson@sh.itjust.works
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          13 hours ago

          Oh I do, 3 folds is a must, so 6 ply.

          • Aneb@lemmy.world
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            8 hours ago

            This is why I just use a cum rag and wash it and get to reuse a thick and sturdy rag

            • OberonSwanson@sh.itjust.works
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              6 hours ago

              I used too, but it was staining and leaving spots like the picture. Either that or they aren’t making t-shirts like they used to.

      • fonix232@fedia.io
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        14 hours ago

        What kinda shit-ass tp do you buy

        • JesusTheCarpenter@feddit.uk
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          2 hours ago

          I see what you did.

        • OberonSwanson@sh.itjust.works
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          14 hours ago

          It’s the expensive Charmin, I don’t want my fingers poking through lol.

    • kestrel7_7@lemmy.world
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      11 hours ago

      Try an actual washcloth or towel sometime. Way more comfortable and just overall better than toilet paper imo. Throw it in the laundry after use. In total, it’s not gross, it’s more comfy, and it’s arguably more environmentally friendly.

    • finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world
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      12 hours ago

      There was a comic book where a guy was gonna cum on some toilet paper, fold it, wait for it to dry, then use it as a knife.

      • ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net
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        4 hours ago

        What stopped him?

        • Madagaskar_sky@lemmy.world
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          2 hours ago

          Nothing. He succeeded and managed to slit his own throat.

          • ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net
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            2 hours ago

            That would make for a good Mythbusters episode.

            • Madagaskar_sky@lemmy.world
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              1 hour ago

              “While researching techniques to make this, we came accross something called a ‘limp biscuit’. Jamie’s excited to try this! We’ve got the B team coming over to help.”

      • PattyMcB@lemmy.world
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        6 hours ago

    • LillyPip@lemmy.ca
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      16 hours ago

      Oh god, the shoebox. I have reddit trauma.

    • restingOface@quokk.au
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      16 hours ago

      Why not wank into a flannel?

      • Diddlydee@feddit.uk
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        15 hours ago

        Fine, if you’re washing it after.

  • daannii@lemmy.world
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    16 hours ago

    Might be high end fashion.

    Really expensive clothes look like poor people clothes.

    Like you spilled bleach in your shirt.

    Idk.

    • we is doomed!@lemmy.world
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      5 hours ago

      true and often have intentional rips and holes in them

      • Agent641@lemmy.world
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        2 hours ago

        I never wear a shirt that has fewer than 4 holes

    • shalafi@lemmy.world
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      11 hours ago

      That’s probably a $300 T-shirt, not joking. For a guy like that, $300 is like me spending $1 on a shirt at the flea market because I like it.

    • AeronMelon@lemmy.world
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      16 hours ago

      That’s not even slightly satirical, that’s been true for decades. Ever since the first pair of ripped jeans.

      • daannii@lemmy.world
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        10 hours ago

        I saw a YouTube video about “why do rich people want to dress poor”.

        And I think the main take away was that poor people are more hip. So they think it makes them look cool.

        And that ultimately they don’t want people to think they are snooty rich people because this makes them a target.

        I have met rich kids at the last university I attended and I can say that rich kids are much more boring people. They have no interesting stories. No sage advice to share with classmates that came from a hardship or traumatic experience.

        They are bland as fuck. And I think they know it.

        A friend of mine used to call them “white bread/bred”

        We are both white. But these type of people are like clueless to how the world works. No concept of being down and out.

        For instance I had complained to a fellow student at said university that I was nervous about losing funding and how to afford rent and they said with complete sencerity…

        "Dani, just get a credit card "

        Like , how could I be so dumb?. Of course. Just get a credit card. Or better yet, have my parents get me one. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that.

        But that’s a legit example of what I mean by being completely clueless. And this wasn’t some 18 year old. This was grad school. So another student in their mid to late 20s said this to me.

        • Madagaskar_sky@lemmy.world
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          1 hour ago

          I wonder if that holds true in general, the poorer you are, the harder your life has been, more interesting you become. Would that make a sub-saharan handicapped trans gal the most interesting person in the world to be around?

      • Axiochus@lemmy.world
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        14 hours ago

        Derelicte

        • Varesti@lemmy.zip
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          8 hours ago

    • garbagebagel@lemmy.world
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      12 hours ago

      I think you’re very correct, I see this type of shit all the time with expensive clothes.

  • Noel_Skum@sh.itjust.works
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    16 hours ago

    Who’s to say it’s “his” cum rag? The brother might just be borrowing it. We should, as a community, stop being so quick to jump to conclusions. Smh.

  • ptolemai@lemmy.world
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    8 hours ago

    Welsh?

  • mastertigurius@lemmy.world
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    16 hours ago

    I’ve also stopped caring if the baby pukes a bit of milk on my shirt. Quick wipe, on with the day.

    • shalafi@lemmy.world
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      11 hours ago

      Infants will up your “disgusting” index quite a bit. I still never got used to snot and thank gods my kids didn’t do that much. Shit? I can man up and deal. Snot? 🤮

      • PattyMcB@lemmy.world
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        6 hours ago

        The worst was the mucous in the shit. That was where I hit my limit.

    • zeejoo@thelemmy.club
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      16 hours ago

      He has kids?

  • damnthefilibuster@lemmy.world
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    16 hours ago

    You mean Zendaya’s cum rag.

    • PattyMcB@lemmy.world
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      7 hours ago

      Hot

  • 58008@lemmy.world
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    12 hours ago

    Maybe a birb with diarrhoea?

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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    16 hours ago

    “How did they even see my socks?!” - Tom reading the article

  • Jo Miran@lemmy.ml
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    16 hours ago

    Most of the time, somebody has a slobbering pooch.

    • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
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      16 hours ago

      Yes, hence the need for the cum rag

  • aburrito@sh.itjust.works
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    16 hours ago

    It’s probably a dog

    *dogs be slobbery and it can be easy to overlook if you own a slobbery dog (I’m not a fan of dogs for this reason, sorry friends :( )

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