A favourite prank - True Story:
Guy from Québec goes to southern US for work. Thick accent and very catholic. Befriends locals, but finds the trope about ignorance to be … deserved.
At bar after work, locals try to explain Christianity to him. He plays dumb EXPERTLY.
Merican - So Jesus died for our sins and came back to life.
Qué: Like le zombie?
Merican: Well, no. Not like that. But he showed his friends the holes in his hands to prove it was him and he really died.
Qué: Yes! Like le zombie. Wounds on hands from 'ow he died and fleshrotting off face…
Merican: No no nothing like that.
Qué: But he died. (Yup) For real. (Yup) But got back up. (yes) With wounds. (Yes). So 'ow eez dis not like le zombie?
Merican: I’m just not explaining it well. (Story goes on) Gets to transubstantiation. Take this bread and eat of my flesh. Take this cup and drink of my blood … and you shall have everlasting life.
Qué: Yes! You See. Like le zombie! He eat your flesh. I see many movie like this.
Merican: No! Sorry, I’m not explaining it well. Jesus doesn’t eat your flesh. He wants you to eat his.
Qué: Ohhh! I see now. Everlasting life? (Yes) So zombie Jesus feed you his zombie flesh and blood, so you turn into zombie like him and be undead forever. Are all Americain in zis zombie cult?
Merican: 😬🥵 well, when you put it like that I guess it does sound pretty weird.
My mom never appreciates me wishing her a happy Zombie Jesus Day on Easter.
“And some bread to go with it.”
He could just use water from a well nearby, right?
Yeah, I don’t get this.
In John, there’s a wedding and the planners forgot to bring the booze, so Jesus tells some dudes to fill a bunch of casks with water, and then poof kablamo, they are made into wine via the power of Jesus being irritated.
There’s certainly a lot of imagery and focus on the blood of Jesus in the Bible… but the whole transsubstantiation/consubstantiation thing is about … the reverse of this, wine either transforming into, or metaphorically representing the blood of Christ.
I am… not aware of any part of the Bible nor sect/branch/denomination/church that teaches that Jesus at any point turns his blood into wine.
I don’t think that even happens in any of the ‘expanded universe’ / Gnostic texts.
In summary:
Wine -> Blood? Yes*.
Water -> Wine? Yes.
Blood -> Wine? No.
Some Christians (at least roman-catholic) celebrate communion, consuming ‘bread’ and wine that has been blessed. According to them the bread and wine literally become body and blood of Christ. That’s the joke of the comic :)
Yes but that’s backwards of what the comic is representing.
As I said… I don’t think any kind of Christian believes that Jesus’ blood ever turns into wine.
That doesn’t happen anywhere in the text.
So… the joke is… based off of a thing that doesn’t happen?
It would be like making a joke based off the idea that Moses can summon floods.
He can’t. He’s never shown to be able to do that, he’s shown to be a water bender who can move water out of the way, but not generate it.
doesn’t happen anywhere in the text.
Religion is more than just the book. Catholics literally believe that the wine at mass is literally Jesus’ blood. This is a joke about them. Not about the book that their specific flavor of whatever is based on.
The literally believe the blessing of the Eucharist turns the wine into the blood of their nailed god.
Not that the blood of Christ turns into wine.
Hope this helps.
And then that wine is like 25 proof. ergo, his blood is 25 proof.
Look, I’m not Catholic or any kind of Christian, but…
Catholics do not believe that Jesus’ blood turns into wine.
So… acting like they do… is just trolling, basically.
Its not a joke, because it doesn’t stem from a thing that someone actually believes.
It is simply asserting that someone believes a thing they do not… which is trolling.
There are a vast plethora of ludicrous things that varying kinds of Christians believe are literally true, that you could make an actual joke out of.
Did anyone bright snacks?
Wait a minute! Jes…
All hail the artists mark!
He could’ve just peed into a jug instead, and then turned that into wine, right? I mean, it’s mostly water.
So are people…
Wonder what they would have called Data? Still ugly, of course, but he’s certainly not a bag of mostly water!
Don’t be silly, Jesus didn’t pee, he was the lamb of God. Or some stupid shit.
For that matter, so is wine …
If Jesus turns the water in wine to wine, what do you get?
Stronger wine
Brandy?
Wine-ception.
event horizon
