When you can’t escape the ads for it.
If it’s desperate to give me the whole plot in the trailer to try to hook me into watching it.
Adam Driver.
Movies funded by Germany.
It’s always the same type of movie. Either we get some boomer vs. youth plot, a family (+child) with relationship problems or something about the second world war. It’s the most boring slop for our aging population you can imagine.
If you have a character singing and dancing in the first 5 minutes and it is not produced by Disney, or a musical.
The first three minutes is a mish-mash string of production company logos, and half of them you’ve never heard of before.
budget blown in the first 5 minutes followed by 85 minutes of people in random uniforms in blank rooms with crappy laptops
Every minute over 90 minutes adds to how much a movie sucks exponentially.
I watched Lord of the Rings, which seems to be one long movie broken into pieces, and I don’t think it sucks as much as the formula suggests for a 720-min runtime.
Jared Leto
This is a 100% accurate statement
I see your Jared Leto, and raise you an Adam Driver.
You see my FIFA and raise an orange slice? 😅
When the trailer is just a highlights reel of the entire plot. If the movie was worth watching they would let it speak for itself.
- Netflix lighting
- Generic, Zimmer-stolen OST
- Franchises
- Standard blocking
- Overexposition
- Whedonisms
- More broadly, anything that’s been big budget Hollywood for the last 30 years or so.
Whedonisms
What the heck is that? I liked buffy and firefly, so use those as an example if you could.
Yeah, do they mean pre- or post- marvel?
Starring Mark Wahlberg.
The only exception is The Other Guys.
Pain & Gain is a goddamn masterpiece, and I’m willing to die on this hill.
In a world…
Anything where the poster/promo has a man and woman apart but kinda the same each other (grumpy or lustfully). Relationship waffle made into movies is the most boring looking crap. It usually has a 3-5 word little like ‘you said forever’ or ‘beneath the elderflower moon’
“you’ve got mail”?
“When Harry met Sally”?
It’s more the newer stuff. Netflix style stuff.
Opening exposition that involves silly names for things …
There’s examples if good exposition (see: the start of Mad Max 2) but anything that starts with shit like
“They came from the skies, mysteriously, the monsters we now call the Xergifaltuns. With their Spiglyzarfix weapons we didn’t stand a chance …”
Yeah, it’s going to be rubbish.
