cross-posted from: https://piefed.world/c/politicalmemes/p/1290769/there-is-a-3rd-choice
Reposting because it was removed from another comm earlier for the political content.
Jesus if he was here today: You’re telling me you’re getting rich and getting divorced? Time to flip some more tables…
Also, if you go by just the “red letters”: WTF, why are you eating shellfish and mixing textiles?
He was a Judean from the first century AD, and held a mix of ideas that nobody really does anymore.
Where is the third thing? Open source software is left wing ffs. Proprietary software is extremely capitalist/fascist.
You say that as if we don’t continually discover right wingers, fascists, religious bigots, and conspiracy theorists within the community.
You’ll find plenty of bigots and conspiracy theorists in unions, too. Union activity is still left-wing activity.
Fascists and right wingers too?
There are features of Open Source that clearly appeal to several kinds of right wing brain.
In general the far right is also a counter-culture, that benefits from all the kinds of freedoms that the left does.
You want privacy so government doesn’t come for the immigrants, they want privacy so the government doesn’t come for their guns.
You want encryption so the corpos don’t see you unionizing, they want encryption so the cops don’t see them organizing a coup.
You want free speech because information on gender and orientation is not scandalous and dangerous, they want free speech to discuss the proper place of brown people.
You don’t want to use mainstream tech because it’s awful, exploitative and plutocratic, they don’t want to use it because it’s clearly an arm of the jewish deep state.
And let’s not even get into the whole crypto thing. Largely open source, but largely appealing to ancaps and other such funny beasts.
You’ll find plenty of bigots and conspiracy theorists in unions, too.
Yes but the conspiracies tend to be different.
All Open Source / Free Software is building the commons. Strong copyleft is using the weapons of the state to help the commons stay under collective ownership.
“Dad wrote TempleOS”
Jesus said while opening the laptop with a gazillion stickers on it
open source software is literally a form of leftism… lol
Technically it was the Free Software movement that was a form of Leftism, and Open Source was Capitalism’s attempt to subsume it once it became apparent that it was capable of producing better software.
can’t have shit in detroit
Confirmed: the only divine church is the Church of Emacs.
Stop spreading blasphemy. Everyone knows Jesus uses Vim.
This is why it was considered political.
Maybe unconfigured. Even Jesus Christ wouldn’t be able to handle the Vimscript.
Jesus would use Arch Linux
I’m pretty sure that he would use KolibriOS.
thematically, templeOS. but i have a hunch he’s use slackware or debian.
Jesus would have been too addicted to foot fetish pics online to have any real opinions.
List of Jesus’s fetishes by biblical support:
1: foot worship 2: feeding 3: nurse cosplay 4: groups 5: S+M
Bug chasing. Damn those healing hands.
What about Muhammed?
Still a rich, kind of pervy Arab guy.
So, if we’re talking OSs, pirated Windows with a billion viruses.
The one and only
sometimes i wonder if jesus today would ask himself if he’d really seen every sin in hell
Do you think modern-day American Jesus’s dad would be a software programer instead of a carpenter?
Maybe a mechanic. It was a humble, low-education kind of job, but still a step up from working the fields. Actually, I guess it could still be construction.
(And FWIW, the original Aramaic word applies to both stone and wood workers, and there weren’t a lot of trees in the Nazareth area)
Sorry for taking your comment way more seriously than of needs to be:
I’d expect Modern Jesus’ dad would be a welder, which is a well paid and respected field in our time that builds things while still being very blue collar.
What’s a more interesting thought is about Mary’s uncle. There’s conspiracy theories about Jesus that stem from the potential relationship between Jesus and his granduncle. You see, Mary’s uncle was a Trader, primarily bringing tin from Britannia (modern day Great Britain) to the heart of Rome - he also founded the first Christian church outside of Palestine (coincidentally in the British Isles). Its thought that Jesus apprenticed under this uncle for a long period of time and through that saw much of the “known world”. It also appears to be the origin of the myth that Jesus didn’t actually ascend to heaven after resurrection, but instead dipped to Britain (leading to my favorite line from A Knight’s Tale: “The Pope may be French, but Jesus Christ was English”).
Most of that last part is besides the point. Chances are, that guy would equate to a tech billionaire, and has a result be the main proselytizer one behalf of a modern Jesus figure.
Anyone who has read the Bible knows that Jesus would have been a racist conservative POS. The man was a grifter and would have grifted hard.
Racist? Nah. The concept of categorising people by skin colour didn’t really exist yet, and he had early followers that would have run the whole gamut, from the one subsaharan African guy to Paul the Roman. Aside from slutshaming that one lady, I can’t think of him ever leaning into the prejudices that were present at the time, either.
Conservative? You may or may not count him as progressive, but he was also counter to the norms and traditions of the time. I don’t know, was the Heaven’s Gate guy conservative?
We don’t know as much about the historical Jesus as we’d like. The gospels were written a whole generation after Jesus’ death at the earliest and they’re also (obviously) not unbiased sources. Whatever conclusions we make on the historical Jesus will necessarily include many assumptions that we can’t check with evidence of any type.
Regardless, if you’re a Christian (I’m not) and you believe this truly happened as described in the gospels due to your personal faith and conviction, I find the argument for Jesus being racist very shaky anyway. He was far more religious than what modern day leftists tend to be, absolutely, but his message wasn’t conservative by any means, he was clearly some kind of revolutionary, so much so that he was killed by the Romans. Assuming that we can generally trust the gospels to record his beliefs and actions more or less faithfully, miracles aside, he seems to fall under apocalyptic Judaism. But if we can relate him to modern political movements, I’d say the closest is the religious folks in anti-colonial struggle, and now people following liberation theology.
