The gen-z toilet stance.
Using a flexible dryer tube for a toilet drain is… I’m gonna go with ill-advised.
Incorrect, as you are more valuable when going to the toilet and should position yourself for optimal position to retaliate in case a ninja/pirate/swat bursts into your bathroom.
🚽😅
That plumbing don’t look right to me
The flexi-tube is certainly a… choice… by the artist, but it’s just a back-outlet or rear-discharge toilet.
spoiler
“Now, I’ll just connect the toilet to the sewer line using this 4 inch vinyl exhaust hose and some duct tape. That oughta hold.”
The best part is, the artist could have walked to their nearest bathroom to notice toilets go down through the floor, but they decided, nah let’s elephant trunk this shit, that’s gotta be how it works.
It’s for his elephant dong
“I don’t have to flush, I just stick it right in there, all the way to the hilt.”
I am become poop knife, destroyer of swirls
That’s a high-powered vacuum designed to suck even the largest of shits right out of your colon.
Lot of potential South Park references in this thread.
The Couric load is massive.
There’s no pee-trap.
You don’t get partial credits for sitting on the toilet. You have to take your pants off before.
Pants are of no concern, when you are QUANTUM SHITTING THROUGH THE N-TH DIMENSION
Shroedinger’s Scat
I always forget that step :(
I was at least tomorrow years old.
They both look so furious.
He is mad because his toilet is hooked up to a dryer vent and she’s furious because, for some reason, her toilet uses electricity instead of water. Both sound like smelly affairs.
And both shit their pants and are wondering why it isn’t in the toilet.
Willing your pants away takes concentration.
How else do you force it out at quick as possible? Takes concentration. You need to close your mouth and push out with your poo muscles while simultaneously trying to force air out of your closed mouth. As illustrated this advanced shitting can make your entire face turn very red, then get super pale. It’s because all of the toxins are leaving with the poo.
Your first few times you’ll start to feel light headed, perhaps very light headed. Just keep your mouth closed and keep pushing as hard as you can. That’s the feeling of the toxins being pulled from your blood and organs. It’s very healthy.
Pretty sure my step son used this tutorial, he passed out on the toilet once.
Glad to hear he’s trying to keep up with the latest medical advances in shitting. ^^
aneurysm speedrun any %
You misspelled it, the brochure I got says it’s called “Analeurysm”, and is the certified medical practice of releasing all the toxins your body otherwise pulls from the air through osmosis and accumulates for no real reason through your anus.
I heard about from the health blogger who sells me snake oil wellness shakes. To be honest, I was a bit skeptical at first, but I asked my Chiropractor when I took my 6 week old infant child in for the adjustment of the newborn, soft, still malleable and forming bones in his back that he’d told me the week before all babies need so they don’t develop crickets and he assured me that Analeurysm is 100% legit and even hooked me up with the brochure at a discount.
I try to always follow the latest medical science, and Chiropractors are legally allowed to call themselves doctors, so we can all be sure they know their medical science and are all straight shooters who can be trusted al your infant’s spine, the latest breakthroughs in shitting, and all of our money. 👍
He knew.
Side-saddle gang.
I don’t know if I was a small kid or potty trained early, but I distinctly remember having to sit sideways until my parents got an adapter seat, because my (likely malnourished) skinny ass would wind up in the water if I sat straight on.
Also you’re not supposed to pull down your pants.
Hahaha look at this dummy who doesn’t cut a shit hole in his pants!
Well, I sit on the toilet like in the picture and proceed to shit my pants like it’s supposed to be done. No poop hole needed sir!
Shit hard enough to have it seep through the pants. That’s how you make sure it goes in one flush.
After you’re done, flush the pants. And yourself.
You just know that some coke head has ripped a fat line in that position… apparently there’s nowhere classier than the top of a cistern to get your sniff-on.
Edit: Seat down, obviously.
It’s not to be classy, it’s just an accessible, flat, nonporous surface that can typically be accessed privately when out and about in public.
Karens tend to get pissy when you start cutting lines on restaurant tables or store counters. Pretty much everyone loves you if you just walk in to the restaurant kitchen and start cutting lines on those tables, but that gets pricey fast and in this economy the bathroom stall is really the only choice for most of us.
Yeah, I do know. Just have a bump though - terrible things happen in public toilets.
I actually worked a short contract for a UK brewery boxing-in all the porcelain in the cubicles to try and discourage this practice. Night shift, in a men’s toilet, is hell of an addition to any cv.
Hah. I was suckered in to agreeing to be the store manager for a convenience store (basic gas station with snacks, fairly small property) in downtown Denver during a huge heroin/fentanyl boom a decade or so back. On the average day we’d collect over 40 used syringes people just left laying around the lot.
One day a cashier was changing the trash bags at the pump-side trash cans and had a syringe go through her hand. Had to send her out for several bloodwork tests and buy industrial gloves for trash bag handling… someone was apparantly at a gas pump likely actively filling their car and decided since they had 2 minutes to kill they might as well shoot up. That or shot up on the way and pitched the needle when they paused. Crazy shit either way.
But there was also real crazy shit. Someone’s dope fiend constipation broke lose in the men’s room one day. This person managed to shit all over the toilet. Seat, back, plumbing, everything. And the shit continued up the wall behind the toilet, covered most of the sink, mirror, floor… like someone opened several gallon jugs of liquid shit that smelled worse than anything I could have imagined and flung it over everything in the room. I had to take a mop and just keep dipping it into the mop water then gently slopping it against the poosplosion to re-liquify it and get it to run down the drain in the room. It took 2 days and gallons of chemicals trying to wash the stank away before people stopped complaining any time someone went in there.
Another day someone actually ODd and died shooting up in that same men’s room. The store was designed to have the manager’s office door and the bathroom doors facing each other across a narrow hall. I had to call my regional manager and tell him I wasn’t going to be able to make it to a meeting because there was a corpse on a stretcher blocking me from leaving my office and the paramedics seemed to be in no hurry to move him from there.
I have no issues with drugs and responsible adult fun times, but addiction is pure hell.
Twist the flush handle like it’s the throttle on a motorcycle and pretend the sound of rushing water is the growl of your bike’s engine.
This is how I was potty trained. I did not know that until one day I came home and my mom had my son sitting backwards. She said it helps little kids not fall in. Look at me putting toilet seat adapters in the bathroom like a fool!
We’ve all tried it at least once
Once? I sit like this regularly! It’s sooooo nice
