It’s like 20% empty shells! WTF! So I look under the bag hoping to find the holy grail of de-shelled pistachio heaven… But nothing!

This is Pistaccio Gate out in the open. Now I have to look over my shoulders.

  • Kattiydid@slrpnk.net
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    21 hours ago

    MY TIME HAS COME!!!

    At Costco you can buy the big 3 lb bag of in-shell pistachios for 19.99 or the one and a half pound bag of pre-shelled pistachios for 20.99, implying that the pre-shell the pistachios are just over twice as expensive.

    HOWEVER!!! I, the crazy persistent stubborn AuDHD person that I am, decided that I wanted to know for sure just how much better a deal the 3 lb in shell bag was, SO I SHELLED ALL THREE LBS IN ONE SITTING, EATING NONE UNTIL I WAS FINISHED!!! Crazy? Maybe. But I learned THE TRUTH which is that when you weigh the pistachios alone without the shell you get ALMOST EXACTLY one and a half lbs of nuts!

    Also, sometimes the nuts were bad inside the shell, I got probably a quarter cup of pistachios that were the dark nasty looking bitter ones out of the whole bag. That’s not many but I feel like I get fewer than that when I get the pre-shelled ones.

    IN CONCLUSION!!!: when you buy the 3 lb bag all you are doing is paying for the privilege of shelling your own pistachios! You do not get any more nuts!!! If you like the salt and pepper nuts you still have to buy the ones in Shell, if the point for you is to have something that you have to open and eat slowly so you can have a snack that takes you a long time but isn’t double fisting handfuls of nuts into your mouth all at once, that’s fine, do you do you and go in peace.

    But!!! if you just wanted the nuts and you do not give a shit about the shell and you were buying the in shell ones because you thought they were cheaper, I SET YOU FREE!!!

  • Snapz@lemmy.world
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    20 hours ago

    Never realized the incentives these ghouls have to add empty shells to the mix to bulk the bag… Diabolical. If it isn’t intentional, venture capital is watching and it’s certainly now their next rock to squeeze blood from.

    • Hemingways_Shotgun@lemmy.ca
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      18 hours ago

      I’m all for a good conspiracy theory, but I can practically guarantee you that no one is inspecting every singe nut looking for empty shells to bulk up the bag.

      Other than a certain amount of each batch that is kept aside for quality control testing, the bags are filled by machines on a conveyor belt. I doubt a human even looks at them until they’re at the final stage and ready for the last quality control test.

      It’s completely random how many empties there will be in a bag. OP was just unlucky this time.

      • tetris11@feddit.uk
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        17 hours ago

        Also, the unshelled nuts might still be in the bag. Shit shakes loose, ya know

      • Snapz@lemmy.world
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        15 hours ago

        See my other response, it’s very much not random. Every processed product in the modern world is hyper optimized for profit. At the least , they know the average weight of shell with nut and without in grams or something smaller. Also likely a hopper with high speed cameras to count yield per bag to maintain exact profit margins. There could be, and likely is, a scale at the end of line that weighs and would five a fairly faithful estimate of empty percentage per bag. And all that is automated.

        Problem is that infrastructure likely exists more or less and they have just turned up the acceptable percentage of empties probably. Like anything else, VC pushes those lines quarter after quarter until people might revolt (or in another time, an administration regulates an acceptable amount of “defective” product).

      • wieson@feddit.org
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        17 hours ago

        They don’t need to. If they passed the nuts over a shaky conveyor to collect those tasty expensive deshelled nuts, they’d have bulking shells for free.

    • dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works
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      18 hours ago

      So… consider that if they scoop them one bag at a time from a large container nobody is adding extra shells, some of the nuts fall to the bottom of the container.

      That means some bags at the end of each batch will be lucky and others (like this one) won’t. The math is probably something along the lines of “how can I optimize the cooking and prep process to keep at least XXX percent of nuts in the shells?” and not “How can I guarantee each bag has statistically equal nuts and shells” or “Mwahahaha how can I source empty shells to fill 20% of all bags!”

      • Snapz@lemmy.world
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        16 hours ago

        You are seriously underestimating the industrial factory technology at scale to do quality control when processing food. If they wanted, they could literally remove individual ants from the flow of 5 ton sacks of coffee beans, in a sustainable way. They literally have lasers and sensors to find undesirable product and knock it out of high speed belt flows of fruits and vegetables with micro targeted jets of air and things like that.

        You’re mistake is is that you are thinking of how YOU would sort these yourself, that’s part of our problem as humans, we have a bit of a narcissistic bias. Similar to trump people that think, " he’s doing well enough… I’d do a but better probably, but he’s doing okay" they are comparing to themselves as baseline, when they aren’t even near qualified either.

        • dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works
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          2 hours ago

          While that is true that factories CAN be extremely detailed in their process, everything is driven by cost efficiency. If it is more efficient to process a large batch instead of a small one, what happens in this thread is what you get. There is no reason to say “oh they could remove those shells!” because it’s only a thing worth doing if it’s cost effective.

          So I guess yes you’re right it’s fixable but only if it’s a problem people care about. I think it’s fundamentally crazier to think you can figure what is profitable for pistachios from a thread by some rando better than the company that makes them.

          Maybe it’s a conspiracy, probably it’s process optimization.

  • BigDiction@lemmy.world
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    22 hours ago

    Pistachio market is getting squeezed by drought in California, and the second largest exporter, Iran, is having a bit of trouble getting product out of the country.

      • AFK BRB Chocolate (CA version)@lemmy.ca
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        19 hours ago

        At my Costco, pistachios are $20 for a 48 oz bag, so 41 cents an ounce. At my local Ralph’s, they’re $11 for a 16 oz bag, so 68 cents an ounce. So the grocery store is 67% more expensive. That’s way more than the percentage of empty shells we’re seeing, and I doubt the shells weigh as much as the nuts.

  • altphoto@lemmy.todayOP
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    1 day ago

    Hmm ok one time is a statistical coincidence… But here, no matter how many you pick:

    • ChicoSuave@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      I’m not sure where you buy pistachios but Costco and many other stores in America seal them at set weights.

      • k0e3@lemmy.ca
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        1 day ago

        Bulkbarn in Canada, maybe? But that’s weird to do imo.

        • ChicoSuave@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          If I saw someone handling every single pistachio and setting some back after getting their booger hooks on them I would complain to the store.

          • k0e3@lemmy.ca
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            22 hours ago

            Same. I’d probably complain to the person directly.

            Maybe I’d even stick my hands in their nutsack bag of shelled pistachios before they purchase them to see if they like their nuts being fondled handled by strangers.

  • MrNesser@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    I’ve hated pistachios ever since I was on a bus and I saw a guy eat a full bag of them put the shells on his lap then let them fall when he stood up.

    Fucker littered the bus with his left overs.