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ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world to Programmer Humor@programming.dev · 2 days ago

Quick, someone release Chatbot 2000!

lemmy.world

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Quick, someone release Chatbot 2000!

lemmy.world

ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world to Programmer Humor@programming.dev · 2 days ago
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  • Avicenna@programming.dev
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    23 hours ago

    This is a joke right? tell me it is please

    • Kairos@lemmy.today
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      19 hours ago

      Yes

  • 18107@aussie.zone
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    1 day ago

    Bar graph of Windows versions. Most are unreadably small, 95 and 98 are visible, and Windows 2000 is the only tall column.

    • tazeycrazy@feddit.uk
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      Where is XP and Vista on this chart. Millennium edition is missing but we don’t count That one anyway.

      • BigPotato@lemmy.world
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        They’re all NaN and were discarded at outliers… Yeah, they’re that bad compared to 2000.

        • Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          17 hours ago

          What about my first windows, the 3.0 😭

          • a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world
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            17 hours ago

            I think I jumped over from DOS at 3.1. High five!

      • WackyHeartFluid@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        I counted it. They said it was ‘more stable’. It was not. I used to know my CD license code off by heart.

      • da_cow (she/her)@feddit.org
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        1 day ago

        XP in ASCII is [0x58, 0x50] and Vista is [0x56, 0x69 0x73, 0x74, 0x61]. If we add all of them together we get 168 (0xB2 for XP and 519 (0x207) for Vista

      • Hueristic_Autistic@lemmy.world
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        If you could get *Windows ME to install without crashing.

        • squirrel@cake.kobel.fyi
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          get YOU to install what?

          • Hueristic_Autistic@lemmy.world
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            1 day ago

            ME was the abbreviation for Millennium in Windows ME.

            • prettybunnys@piefed.social
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              21 hours ago

              The only version of windows I ever purchased.

              They owe me now.

              • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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                19 hours ago

                You should take it to small claims court

    • leftzero@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      This one’s coincidentally accurate, though (relatively; 8 should be in the negatives, or dropped off the chart altogether like ME, and 98 and 98SE should be split).

  • blackshirt@lemmy.world
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    Chrome bumped its versioning numbers to overtake Firefox back in the day, that’s how we ended up with stupid version numbers like 124.1.2 instead of meaningful versions.

    • teolan@lemmy.world
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      I’ve started using CalVer (so a relase in October 2026 would be numbered 26.10). This is just so much better for end-user applications.

      • Techno-rat@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        17 hours ago

        really? i personally find the drive to FIFAfy software very distastefull. But to each their own!

        • teolan@lemmy.world
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          16 hours ago

          Just because you release updates doesn’t mean you have to make people pay 60€ every time…

      • asdfasdfasdf@lemmy.world
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        What’s the benefits here? Why is the semver even bad to begin with? I’m not sure why I’d care that it’s in the hundreds. It’s a number, right?

        Dates - I can just look at the release date if I want that.

        • teolan@lemmy.world
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          24 hours ago

          SemVer simply has no meaning to end users.

          • jj4211@lemmy.world
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            23 hours ago

            By definition, SemVer is supposed to have meaning to end users. If you see the third number increase, no worries, it’s just bugfixes.

            If you see the second number increase, well, in theory no worries, it’s just cool new features but doesn’t break anything you were doing, whatever you were doing should keep on working as always, and you can explore the new features at your leisure.

            The first number changes: beware, something you may be used to can change/go away so it’s not necessarily a slam dunk to update that.

            The problem is that many projects just call it SemVer when they just play with arbitrary numbers. I’ll call it “Marketing Versioning”.

            • yuri@pawb.social
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              20 hours ago

              you can tell SemVer works because this is the first time i’ve ever seen it explained, but i already understood all of it just from using programs (and reading changelogs)

              • wyldrstallyns@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                but I already understood all of it just from… reading…

                You know that puts you so far above average, you’re pretty much an outlier though… right? 😅

            • teolan@lemmy.world
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              22 hours ago

              In a GUI application every change is a breaking change…

              • ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world
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                20 hours ago

                You leave Visual Basic alone!

          • asdfasdfasdf@lemmy.world
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            I just don’t see what the point is of making the version the date. If I care about time then look up the release date metadata associated with the version.

            Semver shows breaking changes. That seems more important than time to me, and I’d think for most people. Calver implies to me that people are manually reviewing releases and going “yeah this date is more recent so I think I’ll go with that one” which makes no sense to me. Basically everyone has some automated update system.

            What does matter to me is if an update with break anything or includes new features.

        • emergencyfood@sh.itjust.works
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          The only correct system is 0ver.

          • Funkt4st1c@lemmy.world
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            I honestly love this idea unironically because its not really 1.0 until the bugs are gone and all desired features are present. If there are ever 2.0 plans, those are actually 1.0 plans and you were further behind than you thought

            • wyldrstallyns@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              18 hours ago

              IMHO, the leading number should always be a fully distinct version from its preceding iterations. But, there are very few tech-fluent (much less capable) people pulling those levers, it seems.

        • horsesaysweird@feddit.org
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          It depends. If your software lives in a rapidly evolving ecosystem and gets buggier with age, CalVer tells the user how important it is to update. If the ecosystem is stable and you want to inform the user about feature sets and bug fixes, SemVer makes more sense.

        • jj4211@lemmy.world
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          SemVer isn’t bad, but it’s kind of pointless in the browsers. The value in SemVer is if you realistically promise to take bumping that first number seriously. Implying you take backwards compatibility seriously, and bugfixes seriously enough to keep patching an ‘old’ version. If you just maniacally bump the ‘backwards incompatible change’ number and never bother to revisit old releases, then I don’t really care about the SemVer.

          Of course, I also don’t necessarily care about the CalVer either if there’s update notification in play, the browsers will aggressively let you know you need an update. However if update notification isn’t working or otherwise isn’t in play, then CalVer can at least make you think “24.7… that seems like it might be old, maybe I should look for updates”. In Windows world the CalVer has been informative as the system or corporate IT screw up has frozen a device at 22H2 and trigger some manual effort to figure out/fix whyever the hell the system won’t go to new functional levels.

      • Baizey@feddit.dk
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        Why not just do 2026.10 then?

        • MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip
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          Because it’s clearly not 1926 and it likely will not be around in 2126.

          • teolan@lemmy.world
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            Maybe the software will be around in 2126, but I most certainly won’t, not my problem 😂

            • LycanGalen@lemmy.world
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              Whoa, you’re the first Lemmy ghost I’ve met 😉

              • teolan@lemmy.world
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                24 hours ago

                Oops

          • Baizey@feddit.dk
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            Maybe it’s just the horror that we work with a very questionable version of it :(

            263.2

            2026 release, major 3, minor 2

            • MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip
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              1 day ago

              26.3.2 ?

              • Baizey@feddit.dk
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                1 day ago

                No :(

        • Goodlucksil@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          Type less numbers. Or one would name versions by their compilation timestamp. You wouldn’t want 20261002112036.

    • [object Object]@lemmy.world
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      Not really, Chromium’s version just increased by one with every release. It’s kinda the same as the second number in the semver designation.

    • kubica@fedia.io
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      Will the trend stop before we have to start using scientific notation?

      • blackshirt@lemmy.world
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        version 1.345435e+12 just dropped, time to upgrade.

      • SinTan1729@programming.dev
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        Oh, we’re far beyond that point already.

      • polle@feddit.org
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        A sane pre step would be using epoch time as version number.

  • Impractical_Island@lemmy.world
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    16 hours ago

    Clearly no AI can maintain an erection the way I do. It’s like a baby’s arm holding and apple, if the apple was of the Butchered Circumcision variety. Not as good for baking as the Grannie Smith or the Dutchmeal Sweets, but it holds turgid enough for penetration, so it’s whatever. And no AI can replace me, and you’re stuck with me for eternity cuz I know the true nature of reality and it’s a dog shit fucked in my ass cream last night, lengthwise in order to support the Huns invasion of Bulgaria.

  • OliMoli2137@piefed.social
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    16 hours ago

    c/unexpectedFactorial

  • BilSabab@lemmy.world
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    19 hours ago

    crushing at saying stupid shit? both are gleefully sloppy

  • BreadOven@lemmy.world
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    20 hours ago

    The Y-axis is a thing.

    • Kairos@lemmy.today
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      19 hours ago

      It certainly is

  • percent@infosec.pub
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    16 hours ago

    Heh, guess Gemini wasn’t even worth including

  • Prunebutt@slrpnk.net
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    Important info: Sashi is supposedly a shitposter.

  • Snapz@lemmy.world
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    I’m literally the oldest I’ve ever been in my entire life!

    • a_jeering_serpent@sopuli.xyz
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      More people have been to Berlin than I have

  • palordrolap@fedia.io
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    2 days ago

    It is worth noting that the same metric is the exact reason that web browser version numbers are so ridiculous.

    What’s that saying? Something about the moment a metric is used to measure performance, it ceases to be a good metric.

    That’s what’s happening here. In one of the stupidest ways possible.

    • boonhet@sopuli.xyz
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      Oh yeah, Firefox used to take years to change major version number, then they changed to… what was it now, a 6 week schedule? To keep up with Chrome’s versions.

      • Laurel Raven@lemmy.zip
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        I hate their versioning schedule so damned much

      • Victor@lemmy.world
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        It’s gone to a 4 week cadence, now down to a 2-week cadence.

    • Clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works
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      2 days ago

      Here’s an episode of the excellent “99 percent Invisible” design podcast that interviews a philosopher who ho has written about this topic! https://99percentinvisible.org/episode/673-the-score/

      • kibiz0r@midwest.social
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        I listen to 100 percent invisible, thanks

        • Clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works
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          Can’t say I blame you; it’s 1% better.

          • wyldrstallyns@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            17 hours ago

            Something something “1%” isn’t better, it’s just an infantile bragging rights distinction with an abhorrently “premium” price-tag. Fucking “1%ers” think they’re better simply for being able to pay more for the same shit on the spoon.

  • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world
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    So… apparently Dragon Naturally Speaking (version 16!) has them all blown out of the water…

    • OliMoli2137@piefed.social
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      16 hours ago

      unexpected factorial

    • chiliedogg@lemmy.world
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      23 hours ago

      Version 20,922,789,888,000 ?

    • Psythik@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      God that app was such trash. Voice recognition simply did not work in the 2000s yet everybody and their mother tried to push it upon us 20 years too soon, just like they’re trying to do now with LLMs.

      • VinegarChunks@lemmus.org
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        23 hours ago

        It is only just barely usable today.

      • empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        2 days ago

        Remember when windows vista itself came with a voice to text assistant / keyboard thing?

        I remeber trying to train that software for hours as a kid just for it to still not understand me half the time lol.

        • Pyro@programming.dev
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          You have reminded me of one of my favorite videos of all time

          • egregiousRac@piefed.social
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            1 day ago

            That was incredible. I had no idea it could be so easy.

            • SomeoneSomewhere@lemmy.nz
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              1 day ago

              I was thinking it was going to be this one:

              https://youtube.com/watch?v=HbDnxzrbxn4

      • marcos@lemmy.world
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        Ironically, it was LLMs that made voice recognition work, but nobody is interested in pushing them anymore.

        • explodicle@sh.itjust.works
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          23 hours ago

          There’s a significant minority of us who relentlessly demand a TTS computer with Majel Barrett’s voice.

          • wyldrstallyns@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            17 hours ago

            Good thing it’s not Morgan Freeman, then. Even naturally sounding like him can get you sued for impersonation, IIRC. 🙃

      • TheFogan@programming.dev
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        I don’t know to me the level it worked, is what makes it really silly to me that so few things can handle local transcription today without cloud services. I felt like it was 99% accurate running on a crappy win XP system with like 256 MB ram. Seems to me that it’s crazy that 20 years later we’re “well we need to hook you up to a supercomputer to do that”.

    • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      2 days ago

      Blast from the past, I remember having this included with some game I bought in the 90s and it felt very Star Trek at the time.

  • chalupapocalypse@lemmy.world
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    Has anyone checked on Bonzi Buddy lately, I think it’s time to unfreeze him

    • fyzzlefry@retrolemmy.com
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      Also, Clippy was special, but he wasn’t evil.

    • AlecSadler@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 day ago

      Wow, blast from the past.

      • JustAnotherPodunk@lemmy.world
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        I sorta remember that I think… But my mind keeps going back to kittens shoved into glass vases for internet shock value. Bonzai kitties was a whole thing in the wild west of the internet and it shouldn’t be forgotten.

        • Hueristic_Autistic@lemmy.world
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          wild west of the internet

          you mean the free internet

          • wyldrstallyns@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            17 hours ago

            Hunh. So it tracks, then? Throwing the gates wide for the desperate plebs to run amok across the lands, chasing dreams of a better life —just softening up the resistance of those who came long before and effectively paving the way with their blood, sweat, and sundry lives.

            The playbook hasn’t changed in centuries.

  • inbn@lemmy.zip
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    They are not ready for my Xbox 360

    • Maultasche@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Meanwhile, Atari is off the scale

      • Im_old@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        smirks in amiga500

      • northernlights@lemmy.today
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        2 days ago

        My old Amstrad CPC6128 isn’t too shabby either

        • 13igtyme@startrek.website
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          2 days ago

          Transylvania 6-5000 is in shambles.

  • crunchy@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    This is also why I use AMD over NVIDIA.

    • REDACTED@infosec.pub
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      Why?

      • leftzero@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        It's over 9000!

        • MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip
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          Not the devices fault, weird-pauldrons guy.

      • UntouchedWagons@lemmy.ca
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        AMD consumer GPU numbers are I think in the 9000s while Nvidia’s are only in the 5000’s or maybe 6000’s.

        • Laurel Raven@lemmy.zip
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          Nvidia’s really fallen hard, too, they’d reached the 9000s over 18 years ago and just plummeted after that

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          I’m an idiot.

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