A contraction is a separate word, with its own accepted usages in the community. For example, “gonna” comes from “going to”, but is not the same, as “I’m gonna the shop, do you want anything?” sounds wrong
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve had the dumb thought that if you and your friends are imprisoned, you’d ask the warden to “let’s out!”
Some times that rule applies, other times it doesn’t.
Shall we find a situation that’s in the grey zone?
Yeah, let’s!
'Tis.
Some folks will never eat a skunk, but then again some folk’ll.
I would never say YOU HAVE GOT MAIL without the contracion, I would say “you have mail”, and with the contraction in the shorter sentence it sounds British to say: “you’ve mail”
Afaik, English grammar requires utterances with predicates to have a stressed element in those predicates. Contractions of only a subject and an auxiliary verb - ex: I am > I’m, he has > he’s, they will > they’ll - eliminate that independent auxiliary as a prosodic segment and violate that grammar.
A - “Who’s going to the store?”
B - “I am.” [ok] or “I’m going.” [ok] (or “I am going.”), but not “I’m.” [bad, obvs].
Who’s to say that ending sentences in contractions is wrong? Perhaps you’d’ve, but I’dn’t’ve.
Cyanide and Happiness: Contractions

I prefer Scottish, where they just ignore the punctuation and string it together. isnae = is not. didnae = did not. cannae = cannot.
This made perfect sense
And hurt my head
Those are all correct and also sound fine.
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It’s what it’s.
“It’s” specifically is funny because you can use its alternative version “'tis” in some places that you cant use “it’s”.
‘Tis what ‘tis
It’s what ‘tis.
Tits what tis.

Let me teach you a thing: “have” can be “'ve” if it is an auxiliary verb. Ta-daah.
I can’t help you or your fucky language with “'m” or “'s” or “'re”.
I see “'ve” used in the possessive context, it’s not super rare but it’s not super common
I think it’s more common in some places
“I’ve no idea what you two are doing” is a valid sentence
what’s an auxillary verb?
I have an apple - in this sentence, “have” is the main verb.
I have bought an apple - here, “to buy” is the main verb, the main action, while “have” is the auxiliary verb that lets you form the past tense “have bought”. The word “auxiliary” means helpful or supportive, an auxiliary verb supports, as it were, the main verb.
Except you can most certainly say, “I’ve an apple.”
In murican that sounds odd.
You can, but would you? It sounds old-timey because it’s not how modern English works.
I think it might be more common in British English? Like “I’ve a fiver says he muffs the kick.” Or “I’ve half a mind to go down there myself.” (Curiously in American English this latter would probably still have the contraction but add a second auxiliary verb: “I’ve got half a mind to…” English is such a mess.)
Yeah, it’s not as uncommon the UK to hear specifically “I’ve [x]” instead of “I’ve got [x]”. I won’t be told though that Brits say “the [x] that I’ve” ;D
lol, really?
I’ve an apple in one hand, and I’ve an orange in the other.
I’ve modernity all over me.It seems like this usage has survived in British dialects more than elsewhere, I’ll give you that.
Canada, too.
The contractions we say are more loose than what we write. Couldn’t’ve is my go to example.
Who’d’ve gone and done a thing like that?
that makes sense, thank you for the explanation!
So’ve you thought about this before?
Unfortunately I’ve studied English at uni thinking it might’ve in some capacity become useful by now. Alas, so far I’ve’d no opportunity to use the nonsense I’ve learnt other than to shitpost about it. Woe’m’st’ve’d is me.
Woe’m’st’ve’d
?
I’m Henry VIII, I’m.
The contraction literally isn’t right. It only works with the adverb version of “have”.
it’s what it’s
This one is correct but sounds wrong because we usually say it the other way.
Well they’re all “correct”. They just don’t sound right. Like saying “the red, big apple” instead of “the big, red apple”.
Wait, I remember learning in primary school about the correct order for adjectives. Is that not a thing?
Fair
You think it do, but it don’t.
They don’t think it be like it is, but it do.
That’s wrong. Correct would be “doesn’t”.
Gah! Yes, quite rightn’t.















