Jagermiester, weed, and a Spotify playlist seeded with bloodhound gang. Just chug, smoke and bellow the lyrics.
Dude. All you gotta do, is wait until he’s claiming trump is the best, blah blah blah, and then you say “I’m woke, I made your daughter woke, and tonight I’m gonna fuck her in the ass in front of a picture of Joe Biden and Barack Obama kissing each other.”
Doesn’t matter what he has to say. You win.
Or you could just offer to fuck him woke.
Your sister? I mean I know what you want to say and I’m with you but the dude in the comic is talking about his father

…my brain read that as father in law for some reason. Looking now, I can see, that’s very much not the case.
Bonus points if your significant other is also in on the joke ahead of time.
…joke?
That’s the spirit
Actually, they stopped being an airline earlier this month…
See? Now THAT was a joke!
Spirit Airlines that is.
My cousins got big early in their teens. Their dad got out of control at a dinner with guests when they were like 14 and 16, so they carried him him up to his room, tossed him in, and screwed the door shut with a bunch of 3 in wood screws.

A 5th of whiskey and a bottle of Zoloft.

Crushed up sleeping pills in his drink.
The whole bottle, you say?
Don’t suppose you want to add the source on this according to rule
54 mate?Ian Boothby. The original doesn’t have any watermarks or such bs
then the source should be a link in the body of the post.
A lil sip of this will make almost anyone not want to talk to you again. I speak from experience

Searched it up and saw this quote from a NYtimes article:
Malört is, in one word, unforgiving. It tastes a little like sucking dandelion juice through a straw made of car tires. It is also kind of good.
… Interesting.
I’ve heard someone call it rotten sewer oil. It’s honestly grown on me. I don’t think it’s as bad as everyone says, but it is very bitter and flavour wise there isn’t much else going on
It can be not terrible. I’ve been to a bar that was all about using Malort in cocktails and it was definitely interesting.
as someone well accustomed to nubbe i will gladly talk to you over this. probably sing at you too.
flavored with wormwood.
Sounds appropriate.
Everyone here is stupid except me. Just offer only foods that are difficult to speak through. Peanut butter and caramel pies. Cheese-heavy casseroles. Spicy soups.
Youve got your black belt in kung food
How’s the chicken breast, good? Oh, bit dry maybe?
Sir will have the Benadryl aperitif
Just dont let them have seconds. Then theyll just be ranting about the woke agenda to the people theyve hallucinated being there.
might I recommend long sexually charged pauses?
Bourbon.
A fine whiskey pairs well with political rants if intensity is the goal!
Look up Ross Thomas. He was a Washington reporter before turning his hand to writing political/crime thrillers.
In one novel a character says that he’s never been to a serious political meeting where there wasn’t at least one drunk. And the drunk was usually the only one with anything intelligent to say.
Whisky.
I recommend the fortified wine















