• UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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    11 hours ago

    “Wow, that’s an ugly wound from the government’s death ray.”

    “Yeah, I feel really bad about not getting out of the way. I think I’ve learned my lesson for next time.”

  • Zink@programming.dev
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    10 hours ago

    If we work together comrades, maybe we can get the government’s new death ray to destroy the Orphan Crushing Machine that has been causing issues.

  • macro_byte@programming.dev
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    12 hours ago

    My only grip is that it should be a private company death ray. The government just decides who the death ray is allowed to zap

    “In a 531-4 historic vote the government is limiting the death ray to not target citizens on their own private property. This does not extend to illegals or private property that isn’t owned by the citizen. For more on this we found a guy worth 4 million and asked his opinion on the matter”

    An incomprehensible idiot: “I HATE YOOOOOOUUUUU! I HAAAAAATE YOOOOOUU”

    and now here is Thompson with the weather

    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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      11 hours ago

      My only grip is that it should be a private company death ray.

      Nothing particularly private about ICE. Nevermind the bloated municipal police forces or the $1.5T military. The current Trump government has been more interested in nationalizing companies or integrating them into government administrations than any government in living memory. Intel is a state owned enterprise. Palantir might as well be a department of the NSA. SpaceX is a subsidiary of NASA and the Pentagon. Amazon’s out there producing movies for the First Lady just to stay in Donald’s good graces.

      We’ve privatized the profits, but the chief executive’s minions are firmly in control of the policies.

  • Yerbouti@sh.itjust.works
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    6 hours ago

    “I don’t really mind pedophiles in the oval office because they haven’t rape my children” is partially true. My take on maga is that they tolerate whatever rich people do because deep down, they know they would do the same things if they had the opportunity. That’s the point they reached.

  • moxymarauder@thelemmy.club
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    13 hours ago

    About sums up the conservative movement in a nutshell… that and, if you’d just run faster the death ray wouldn’t hit you.

    • bampop@lemmy.world
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      10 hours ago

      I support the death ray. It’s needed to keep us safe from the bad people. I am disappointed that it killed my wife and kids, but I’d definitely vote for the death ray again.

  • samus12345@sh.itjust.works
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    14 hours ago

    I would still mind the government’s death ray even if it were guaranteed to not affect me because I’m not a sociopath.

  • Sibshops@lemmy.myserv.one
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    21 hours ago

    Then when it hits someone they know, they get upset that the government in using the death ray on the wrong people.

    Never crosses their mind that maybe the government shouldn’t be using a death ray at all.

  • thevoidzero@lemmy.world
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    15 hours ago

    He’s at least running, actual analogy would be people laying on their back sipping whatever they drink and say “it’s not bad, it hasn’t hit me at all”

  • chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world
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    21 hours ago

    Remember how the other party was gonna fire the death ray. They never did, but the guy firing it now said that they would. I’m glad I didn’t vote for them. Who knows how bad it would have been if they fired the death ray.

  • FiniteBanjo@feddit.online
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    20 hours ago

    I really wish more people cared about the tens of millions of people sentenced to starve to death by the US government cutting USAID.

    • TrickDacy@lemmy.world
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      19 hours ago

      I just had a “Christian” defend doing that with a string of Bible verses. Not even kidding. According to them, “charity shouldn’t be mandatory” and it’s in the Bible and this means killing millions of people and creating suffering in millions of others.

      • AbsolutelyClawless@piefed.social
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        17 hours ago

        Not the US, but I have an acquaintance who is a “Christian”. She’s an immigrant. She goes to church with mostly nonwhite immigrants. She’s extremely racist, among other things. You can’t make that shit up 🤷🏻

        • kata1yst@sh.itjust.works
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          15 hours ago

          To be fair the values are ambiguous and not at all coherent or consistent page to page, and interpretations have managed to somehow adapt to the mindset of the ruling class for over 1500 years.

  • x0x7@lemmy.world
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    11 hours ago

    I don’t mind that communism has starved people because it hasn’t starved me yet.

  • osanna@lemmy.vg
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    21 hours ago

    yeah, absolutely. I think we should deport all the immigrants.

    wait, not me!