• velma@sh.itjust.works
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        4 hours ago

        This user pulls memes from Reddit for reposting. I don’t think this was a personal remark from them. Just regurgitating it from elsewhere.

    • AlfalFaFail@lemmy.ml
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      6 hours ago

      I truly enjoy the simplicity of your comments and the ease at which it unravels the select few.

    • jtrek@startrek.website
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      9 hours ago

      Is the joke that you’re not communicating and expect us to read your mind, as referenced in the original post?

      • Because they wanted to try and make a point about something but it didn’t get the attention they wanted so now they’re back pedaling and trying to say there was no point or that nobody will listen to their point (despite being directly asked what the point was)

        Communication, hilariously, is not their strong suit it seems

        • velma@sh.itjust.works
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          9 hours ago

          I never said there wasn’t a point to my comment.

          I’m also not going to indulge in allowing y’all to dogpile me. My comment wasn’t misandrist.

        • FishFace@piefed.social
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          9 hours ago

          My guess is not exactly the same; it’s that they’ve made the point they really mean many times, so by now they’re bored of typing it out. Maybe they in fact expect people to understand the point they intend even though they haven’t made it, based on people agreeing with them already, or having seen their posts already.

          • velma@sh.itjust.works
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            9 hours ago

            It was a conversation starter about the gendered language. I wasn’t accusing OP of anything nor demonizing them for it though.

            • chortle_tortle@mander.xyz
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              6 hours ago

              I wasn’t accusing OP of anything

              I am. I didn’t read the title before popping into the post and only realized it after you posted it. I assumed it was generally about communication, but OP made the choice of not only gendering the conversation, but infantilizing the “strawgirl” in their head with it.

              It’s especially rich because if there a gender that struggles with communicating their needs and desires it’s overwhelmingly, empirically, men. Any projection of “mind reading” is likely because they lack the emotional intelligence to comprehend something that’s been told to them multiple times to the point of the partner going non-verbal when it happens again.

            • FishFace@piefed.social
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              7 hours ago

              OK. For the record I couldn’t tell whether you were actually talking about gendered language or something I was missing. I do also think when you purposefully say very little, inevitably people will make assumptions about what you “really meant” whether that’s justified or not. Which I appreciate is annoying.

              • velma@sh.itjust.works
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                7 hours ago

                I wasn’t sure myself why the title was gendered the way it was in relation the image. I still haven’t figured out the connection there amongst all the accusations of misandry being thrown at me.

                Thanks.

                • FishFace@piefed.social
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                  5 hours ago

                  If I had to guess (lots of guessing) it’s like supposed to be a light-hearted expression like “big girl pants”

        • FishFace@piefed.social
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          10 hours ago

          I have a guess at what your comment meant but find guessing at people’s meanings error-prone and leads to pointless aggro when you can just ask them.

          (Inviting people to guess at your meaning, by being deliberately vague or declining to clarify, I find similarly to lead to pointless aggro)

          • velma@sh.itjust.works
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            9 hours ago

            I would’ve been open to discussion about it earlier, that’s one of the reasons I left the comment to begin with. But I’m not dumb and I can see how this is going to go in the comment section from the reaction I’ve received for a single comment that hadn’t been dissected yet.

            • searabbit@piefed.social
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              9 hours ago

              I’m so disappointed to see the weird reactive hatred for women (and the gaslighting about it regardless of how obvious it is!) is not exclusive to reddit threads. It didn’t even used to be so prevalent on reddit either back in the day (although the objectification did use to be way worse), so this is signaling to me that it’s actually a cultural shift and young boys are becoming more hostile towards women :(

              As for the title, why did it have to be gendered in the first place? And why get so defensive about the gendering? We all know everyone of all genders does this shit. That’s not groundbreaking information.

              • hakase@lemmy.zip
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                9 hours ago

                As for the title, why did it have to be gendered in the first place?

                Maybe because OP has a lived experience that they’re posting here as a response to.

                To echo my initial response to velma in this thread: “I bet you wouldn’t have complained about how gendered it was if it had said ‘big boy words’ instead of ‘big girl words’”.

                And to echo what we’re always told when we complain about misandry in the titles of posts: “If you want to complain about misogyny in a thread about the lived experiences of men, why don’t you make your own post about it, and don’t try to hijack others’.”

                You’ve got an entire walled community for exactly that in womensstuff, after all.

            • hakase@lemmy.zip
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              9 hours ago

              Seeing consistency across the 2,000 comments you’ve posted in the past few months isn’t “a single comment that hadn’t been dissected yet”.

              But I get it - you didn’t get the inital upvotes you were expecting for attacking OP as a misogynist, and don’t want to argue on the back foot for a comment that’s already unpopular, so you’re falling back on “I was totally just asking questions guys!”

                • hakase@lemmy.zip
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                  9 hours ago

                  That’s true, and I agree with many/most of them, but my point is that we have more than enough data to interpret the likely meaning of your comments from the ones you’ve posted so far.

                  And this is without needing to go through your comment history - I started recognizing your name quickly just from your comments like this one on posts on the frontpage.

    • hakase@lemmy.zip
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      10 hours ago

      Women are just as capable of unreasonable demands for mind reading as men are, and something tells me that if the title was “Use your big boy words” you wouldn’t have said anything.

      • revelrous@sopuli.xyz
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        8 hours ago

        What an interesting and not at all telling crusade you seem invested in.

        A complete non sequitur for the audience at large: Does lemmy have a RES equivalent yet to tag users?

        • hakase@lemmy.zip
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          7 hours ago

          It’s equally telling that you think I’m the one on a crusade given the literal hundreds of similar comments I see from velma on /c/all all of the time.

          Anyways, as for tags, I don’t know if it’s implemented into the Lemmy website directly, but most third party clients allow it in their settings, and I think there are also browser extensions you can install for it.

          Edit: I don’t like to go through people’s comment histories, but since velma has specifically asked me to do so below, I’ll update with a few examples when I can get back to my desktop PC later.

          In the meantime, I think anyone else should also feel free to jump in with their own favorite examples.

          • velma@sh.itjust.works
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            7 hours ago

            Edit: I don’t like to go through people’s comment histories, but since velma has specifically asked me to do so below, I’ll update with a few examples when I can get back to my desktop PC later.

            In the meantime, I think anyone else should also feel free to jump in with their own favorite examples.

            By all means. Sort it by controversial if you’d like.

            You’ll find a lot of comments about Graham Platner that way.

          • velma@sh.itjust.works
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            7 hours ago

            the literal hundreds of similar comments I see from velma on /c/all all of the time.

            It’s really easy to make claims with no evidence, isn’t it?

        • hakase@lemmy.zip
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          10 hours ago

          I’ve seen enough of the comments that you did make to be more than confident of my guess.

            • hakase@lemmy.zip
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              9 hours ago

              For anyone interested, the original comment was:

              “I’ve got enough of the comments that you did make to judge you on the ones you don’t.”

              and I edited it for style and readability.

              I edit my comments like this all the time and will continue to do so as long as it doesn’t change the general meaning/intent. I’m sorry you don’t like it, but then again, I don’t like all of the misandry in your comments and would much rather you edit it out after the fact, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

                • hakase@lemmy.zip
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                  9 hours ago

                  Misogyny being objectively worse than misandry in a wide variety of ways does not excuse you from adding to the misandry that does exist, in this case demonizing OP for a title that clearly wasn’t misogynist and which could easily have been based on their lived experience.

                  We should be lifting each other up, not fighting about who is dragging each other down harder.

                  • Feathercrown@lemmy.world
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                    2 hours ago

                    Idk man it seemed kind of misogynist to me. If you make a general unqualified statement based on your lived experience, you are (ambiguously) applying that experience to others based only on their immutable qualities. At least, that would not be an uncommon nor entirely unfounded reading of the statement’s intent.

            • hakase@lemmy.zip
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              10 hours ago

              Like I very clearly stated in the other thread, I avoid you except for calling out your misandry bullshit, and this comment is more than close enough to qualify.

        • hakase@lemmy.zip
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          10 hours ago

          That wasn’t on purpose. For anyone reading this thread who is interested, the original comment was:

          “Something tells me that if the title was “Use your big boy words”, you wouldn’t have commented.”

          I edited it less than two minutes after posting, realizing that my response could use more context - I had no way of knowing you’d responded that fast.