Algorithms, investors, capitalism…

Because everything has to be PG or people throw a fucking snowflake temper tantrum. Even though everyone knows the words they’re obviously saying. It’s like bleeping out cuas words on the radio. It’s not like anyone over 4 doesn’t know what they’re saying.

As a side note I was an elementary teacher for a decade, your kids are sailors at school, even if you think they’re angels.

The artist spoke about this on Reddit. Social media outlets automatically remove content with rape and ban the artists. She said she just can’t be bothered with the hassle so even though she dislikes doing it, she started self-censoring to comply.

…I’m a guy, and I remember defaulting to “bragging” about having a 19 year old girlfriend when I was 14. That seemed socially appropriate because of the praise I got. My partner at the time apologized like that too and I , also, was confused.

When I remembered what happened the first time it was pretty bad.

I was spending the night at my friends house while both our parents went out and she was the “adult” in case anything would happen while they were gone. She kept walking by the door in less and less clothing.

Then I remember her bringing us some snacks and drinks in her underwear for our video game marathon which caught my attention. We intended to stay up all night so I was confused when my friend fell asleep kinda suddenly.

I wasn’t tired so I kept playing. She comes out into the living room in only a towel, and just came over and took it from me, like. No words exchanged or anything just kissed me on the forehead when she was done with me. My friend is still snoring.

Suddenly I wanted to spend the night every weekend. Same scenario though, my friend would zonk out after snacks and she would come in and use me up. Of course it took me decades to realize she was drugging her brother so she could do that to me. I thought she loved me so I started treating her like a girlfriend. My parents picked up on it and did nothing. Said nothing. Took me to go hang out with her alone often.

Even now it’s really disgusting to think about. She is no longer alive so I can’t really do anything or tell her it was fucked up.

I have a hard time connecting to people. I think that’s why.

I’m proud of your daughter, too 💕

She censors rape becauseost platforms she posts on auto remove and ban for the word rape.

Pedestrian? Lol, do you drive a comedy car or something?

Oh god, this pedestrian fucking comment again…

If you do decide to looks it up, the reach term to find stories about this event is below

If you’re a woman, more power to you.

If you’re a man, get reading. You don’t get to sit this one out.

Jane Doe is a pseudonym used to represent the (female) victim in court documents when the victim’s identity and/or privacy shall be protected.

Jane Doe is the title of the chainsaw man movie ending theme and thats all I need to know about that. Banger song and movie tho

Sadly, things like this happen to victims of all kinds of abuse. When I was a kid, my father would sometimes tell me about things that his father did to him. Eventually I recognized that he had suffered horrible physical and verbal abuse. His father, in turn, had lived a life filled with trauma. Instead of dealing with it, he unloaded all his trauma onto his kids who then unloaded their inherited trauma onto their kids, including me.

When I began to recognize this dynamic, It was like I could see the little boy, within my dad, who just wanted to be loved but instead was systematically destroyed; through no fault of his own. His capacity for joy and love were greatly compressed, and the void filled with fear and anger. I saw that I was just like him and I was horrified at that discovery.

Sometimes people try to run away from the pain and fear. I think that’s why they try to pretend they’re above it. Because it feels easier to malign people who share your experience, in order to try and pretend it wasn’t real, than it is to face the pain and fear.

But until you face it, you will never escape it. It will always be there wreaking havoc on your life and lives of those around you.

I watched one of those kidnapping storys on youtube and I thought until 40 minutes in that the situation must have beed retty bad for her until the last 5 minutes which gave lasting anxiety. That shit isn’t just bad, its horrifying

not clear what happened to that lady in her past.

Sexually assaulted without consequences within a social culture that condones it.

A term that I stumbled across a few years ago is “hermeneutical injustice”, a phrase that was coined in response to sexual harassment in the 70s and onwards. It refers to when people who have faced an injustice don’t have the language to be able to talk about their experiences properly, which inhibits their ability to personally process their experiences, as well as making it harder to organise against the systemic injustice they had faced. It’s effectively an extra layer of systemic injustice on top of what they have already experienced.

Linking this to something concrete, we can look at the fact that when women were first entering the workplace in the 60s and 70s, “sexual harassment” wasn’t a term that existed, and women who experienced it struggled to communicate their experiences authentically. “What do you mean you’re upset because your boss bought you flowers? He’s just being nice”.

“Sexual harassment” being coined made it possible for people (especially women) to talk about their experiences in the workplace in a manner that led to some structural change. Whilst it’s still depressingly common in the workplace, as you highlight in your comment, we have come a long way.

That to me is the really surreal part of all this — the fact that if you existed in the 70s, you’d be far less likely to even notice problematic conduct such as that seen in Mad Men

Now here’s the fun thing. The undue pressure it puts on men is toxic as fuck too. This doesn’t benefit anyone!

My Step father started grooming my sister when she was ten. Her chore thay day was to clean the kitchen. He told her to use a bucket and rag, not the mop, so he could “watch her ass” while she cleaned. His ten year old, biological, daughter.

He told her if she ever told anyone, it would break up the whole family, and everyone would think she was a whore.

My sister lived a double life from that early age of ten, until she was 15. He would tell her, "you have to [Do this sexual thing] or Im not buying groceries for the family and it will be your fault. He did this for christmas presents, after school activities, any time he could withold finacially from “the family” he would make her do stuff.

No one knew.

meanwhile, he was serverely beating the shit outta all of us if any of us got out of line. My brother and I werent allowed to hang out with friends, ever. We went to school, and we went home. If we werent working on the farm, we were trapped on our rooms. In the last few years, I wouldnt even be allowed out of my room for weeks at a time, not even to use the bathroom. He’d take the house phone with him whenever he left, so we could never call anyone. My brother stood up to him once, and he chocked out my 12 year old brother against a wall, his feet dangled. I saw it happen.
We found out after, he was often choking out my sister in her sleep, and shed wake to him trying to kill her. Shed wake, and hed stop, and just mutter, “Sorry” and walk away. When my dear sister found out I was cutting… she did the right thing, and told the adult. He came to me and said, “next time you feel like doing this, make sure you do it the right way”.

I had asked my sister a few times, if “anything was going on”. She always said no. Until one fall day, she broke the fuck down and told me everything. We cried together for hours. I was 16, she 15. I told the school the next day. Thankfully he admitted everything. When the state came in, im sure they found mt poop bucket. They saw his room was a bed, in a pile of beer cans. They saw the falling down house. We were never allowed back there to get our things. “The family” let my dog run away and didnt tell me for a month. We did lose everything, our pets and possesions alike.

In court he said he thought she was his wife, and also mentioned he had been raped as a youth by an uncle.

When sentencing came, the max was 25 years. They asked us kids for our imput. His sister, my aunt, took us in after he was arrested. She was the one to relay our answer. We all said the maximum. She told the contact, we all said the minimum. He was sentenced for ten years. He served 8. For a very long time, over a decade after, I regretting not, well killing him that morning before school. This aunt also made fun of me for telling on my step father. The woman despised me for “what I did”.

This man absolutely ruined three lives. He didnt murder us no, but he murdered our hearts, our courage, our self worth. None of us are right. My brother and sister are still very fucked up people and its been about 25 years since thay day.

8 years, let out for “good behavior”. Owns a house again now, none of his kids own anything. We all have CPTSD. I will be im therapy for the rest of my life probably. My siblings and I dont talk anymore. the other two refuse therapy, and their maladaptive coping is… apparent. My sister cant even live in this state. She fears so much, she will run into him. My brother, still talks to that side of the family, and has stalked women he was interested in, like, actully stalked. Its so messed up.

This man took my sister from me, and only got 8 years. Least he got that- I know too many who got off scott free. I have multiple non reported rapes myself. Mostly from the same person. My grandfather raped all his three daughters, died without it ever coming to light.

The law favours doing nothing, by intent, by design, and by necessity. It is better to let the guilty go free than to imprison the innocent. But there is also systemic bias that warps this important principle into something that hobbles any hope of justice.

I think that we are wrong to look to the state and the law. They occupy a place in our psychology as the arbiter of order that they do not deserve and which serves to control us. When we are raped, the solution to our personal problems isn’t to make sure someone else gets punished. Our needs are for repair, safety, and healing, not some asshole’s rehabilitation, which is not our fucking responsibility. The courts and prisons cannot give us what we need in that situation. There is a need for something that doesn’t exist, that doesn’t yet even have a name.

I would avoid saying that the law favours rapists in general (though it might where you live) because it makes it sound as if it’s a problem that can be fixed if we bring in the right legislation. The problem as I see it is that the people who administer the law favour rapists, and that’s a much more intractable problem.

When I was about 5 my then 3 year old sister was sexually abused by our adoptive mother’s husband at the time. I don’t really have a good memory, but I understand that I was drugged and maybe also messed with too. They took my sis to the hospital and confirmed the abuse took place.

The dude got a slap on the wrist, honestly. A few years jail (I think?) and a divorce - leaving behind a single mother on a teacher’s salary with 2 kids that he doesn’t even owe child support for. They both made the decision to adopt and he just got right out of any responsibility for that.

For us as kids, it meant lots of talking to professionals who barely got anything out of us. I mean, we were afraid. All we had was each other in the whole world and it seemed like we couldn’t even trust our own parents, so what do we do? Instead we grew up with little faith in family and no faith in a “God” who turned their back or a country who didn’t give a damn.

You did nothing wrong. You’re not alone. You don’t have to suffer in silence. Tell your story. You never know who might really need to hear it.

As a man, I can confirm this. It took me being raped (and a few years of bottling it up to even consciously come to the realisation that I was indeed raped) to do away with nearly two decades of indirect conditioning by “lad culture” and mass media et al to see why it goes unreported most of the time.

(mind you I was raped by a woman, AND the same woman falsely accused me of rape, harassment, and a number of other awful things)

You seem to forget that small little detail of “innocent until proven guilty” which is thisbtiny corner stone of our society and probably the reason why you too are a free person

THAT detail is ehy rape is so hard to convict people on because ypy need yo prove that a sexual interaction was not consensual and thus rape

In few cases that is obvious and easy to prove, in most its impossible to prove, and thus the perpetrator goes free.

Now I get it, it sucks that the bad guy gets away with it, but the other option is that we start jailing innocent people. The entire idea of the justice system is not to put the guilty in jail but to keep the innocent out of jail. I am not about to give up on that.

As for men who are worried about catching false charges

I absolutely fucking hate that argument, because men use it to prevent changes that would make prosecution of actual rapists easier. I understand the fear, but how often does it happen, that false charges get pressed onto man and how often does it happen that rapists do not get prosecuted for their crime? We all know someone who has been targeted by rape/sexual assault, but hardly anyone knows a rapist and even less a person that has been falsely accused of it.

It took my mom decades to see the truth about what happened to her as a little girl. She didn’t tell my grandmother until a couple years ago. Heartbreaking.

It’s one of the many reasons that blaming victims should be called out each and every time. It’s imperative to be honest about these crimes and to believe victims when they come forward.

Thank you for the added context :)

I was horrified to see that she was swatted the other day. They literally tried to kill her by police.

that really isn’t suprising considering all the publicity