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cm0002@literature.cafe to Memes@sopuli.xyz · 3 hours ago

No thanks, Honey isn't vegan

lemmy.ml

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  • cross-posted to:
  • memes@lemmy.ml
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No thanks, Honey isn't vegan

lemmy.ml

cm0002@literature.cafe to Memes@sopuli.xyz · 3 hours ago
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48
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  • cross-posted to:
  • memes@lemmy.ml
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  • moth@anarchist.nexus
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    2 hours ago

    why would you use an “opener” on random people getting into an elevator with you?

    • darvocet@infosec.pub
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      1 hour ago

      Did you catch the game last night?

      • moth@anarchist.nexus
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        1 hour ago

        you mean Dune: Awakening?

      • massive_bereavement@fedia.io
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        1 hour ago

        What was Wenger thinking sending Walcott on that early?

    • shweddy@lemmy.world
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      42 minutes ago

      Its called shooting your shot

      • moth@anarchist.nexus
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        30 minutes ago

        if you have to resort to harassing strangers who are trapped in an elevator with you, then you are far too ugly to be “shooting your shot”.

    • Gonzako@lemmy.world
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      42 minutes ago

      Yeah, you hit on them when they’re getting OUT of it. Don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable and trapped.

  • frustrated_phagocytosis@fedia.io
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    3 hours ago

    If you try “openers” on women walking into elevators like a captive audience you deserve to die in a fire

    • TrickDacy@lemmy.world
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      12 minutes ago

      Did you ever consider thinking something is gross without wishing a painful death on the perpetrator?

    • TachyonTele_Esq@piefed.social
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      3 hours ago

      Counter point:
      I always liked this elevator. It picks me up when I’m down.

      • massive_bereavement@fedia.io
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        1 hour ago

        Oh, the dad’s gambit.

      • Sturgist@lemmy.ca
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        3 hours ago

        Counter counterpoint:
        Unfortunately it always brings me down when I’m up.

    • FishFace@piefed.social
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      2 hours ago

      A captive audience for 15 seconds at which point they have a built-in reason to leave though

    • NaibofTabr@infosec.pub
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      3 hours ago

      but where else am i going to meet someone

    • expatriado@lemmy.world
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      3 hours ago

      the only opener allowed is the open door button

  • Photonic@sopuli.xyz
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    3 minutes ago

    Removed by mod

    • gastroglizzy@piefed.social
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      3 hours ago

      What would you prefer, one of the mass-produced goth girls from the goth girl industrial complex?

      • lath@piefed.social
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        3 hours ago

        Now we’re talking.

      • 5in1K@lemmy.zip
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        1 hour ago

        I’m into tomboys.

      • W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        2 hours ago

        • degen@midwest.social
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          Um, uh, wha- uh who uhhh who’s this?

      • fyzzlefry@retrolemmy.com
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        3 hours ago

        Clearly

      • cm0002@literature.cafeOP
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        2 hours ago

        Well fuck, you guys are gonna see me on the news for leaking secrets if that’s on the table

        …for legal reasons, that was a joke

      • Photonic@sopuli.xyz
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        Removed by mod

      • W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        2 hours ago

      • FiredFloridaCop@lemmy.world
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        2 hours ago

        New Popular is still more interesting than Old Popular.

    • 2ndDegreeOWO@lemmy.world
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      2 hours ago

      If they want to honeypot me, they’re going to need fursuits.

    • iamericandre@lemmy.world
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      3 hours ago

      For real, I’d continue staring at my phone

  • gastroglizzy@piefed.social
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    3 hours ago

    I’d say to them the same thing I say to anyone else.

    “Hi. What floor? Have a good night.”

    What is this, an Axe commercial?

    • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
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      am I hollow or filled with truffle?

      • ChicoSuave@lemmy.world
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        3 hours ago

        Most men do

        • ThePantser@sh.itjust.works
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          2 hours ago

          Can’t speak for other men but I cum with my prostate.

          The pee is stored in the balls.

          • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
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            6 minutes ago

            please god help me. a witch has cursed me for eating her house!

  • Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world
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    3 hours ago

    I move to the side and brace for the most shrill pair of voices whose conversations consist mostly of “oh my gawd” “I’m like, really” and them complaining about what most other people would consider less than a mild inconvenience

    • 2ndDegreeOWO@lemmy.world
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      2 hours ago

      Can you believe that guy in the lobby didn’t hold the door open for us?

  • slazer2au@lemmy.world
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    2 hours ago

    I could give you my login to Confluence, but that would be a war crime.

  • Clutter@sh.itjust.works
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    52 minutes ago

    I legit thought the lady on the leftside in the picture was a wax figure. Maybe too few pixels for me :-)

  • Makeitstop@lemmy.world
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    3 hours ago

    I take my job very seriously. They’re gonna have to work pretty hard if they want that blend of 11 herbs and spices.

    • lettruthout@lemmy.world
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      3 hours ago

      Is that what kids are calling it these days?

  • Grabthar@lemmy.world
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    54 minutes ago

    Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

  • tacosanonymous@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    2 hours ago

    You ladies like lemmy? There’s a whole bunch of socialism in my room and we’ve got femboys coming up later.

  • stopforgettingit@lemmy.world
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    The amount of men I’ve seen who think they could be target for a spy honeypot genuinely cracks me up. Don’t worry bro YOU are safe.

    • Carl@anarchist.nexus
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      I mean, the US armed forces has to hold regular “know your fucking number” meetings, because the people with security clearance keep getting honeypotted. Basically, “You look like Mr Potato Head with more acne scars and daddy issues, and you smell like wet beef. You’re an Iowa 3 at best. Maybe a 3.5 if you bothered to shower before you hit the bar. If a solid California 10 walks up to you at the bar right outside of the base, and she seems really interested in what you do for work, she’s not interested in you. Know your fucking number, and be suspicious when anyone outside of your range tries to flirt.”

      • RamSwamson@lemmy.sdf.org
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        31 minutes ago

        smell like wet beef

        Oh how true this can be at times

  • FishFace@piefed.social
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    2 hours ago

    MAGA face. Not even once.

  • its_kim_love@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 hour ago

    Hit all the buttons then run on the next floor.

  • Hundun@beehaw.org
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    2 hours ago

    I use stairs. It’s better for the heart

  • SW42@lemmy.world
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    2 hours ago

    Rescue-Boat Lips and orange cake fondant… classy…

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